Don't Be Scilly

It Has Better Punning Properties Than "Beleriand"

How apposite that this Intro is going to be dealing with water, since I have just encountered it moving horizontally outside, whilst taking Edna on a short walk.  This, apparently, is Storm Debi, which is bringing the Atlantic to us, since we've not chosen to go to the Atlantic.

     Yes yes yes, Beleriand is a creation of Ol' Tolky, which you may not be familiar with if you've not read the "Silmarillion".  Art!

     There are hints about it at a couple of places in "Lord Of The Rings".  If you want the backstory, then it came to a sticky finale at the end of the First Age.  You see Morgoth, a creature so evil that he made Sauron look like a snivelling pansy, ended up causing the War Of Wrath which destroyed Beleriand, said country succumbing to marine submersion.

     Ol' Tolky, being wise in myths and legends, was well-up on the fable of Atlantis and seems to have wanted to have a bit of that marine submersion myth for himself.

     For your information, Beleriand was west of Middle-Earth as we know it.  Art!

     I don't suppose Morgoth bothered too much about the depreciation of property values when the land got swallowed by the sea.  "Collateral damage", he probably said whilst shrugging his shoulders and destroying another orphanage.

     The thing is, Ol' Tolky wasn't satisfied with one inundation.  O no.  Not he.  Instead of resting on his laurels he decided to create the large island kingdom of Numenor, home to the - you may be ahead of me here - Numenoreans.  Art!

     The full story would take several blogs to tell, so all you need to know is that the Numenoreans got both powerful and corrupted.  Sauron, you see, had escaped from Beleriand and set up shop in Mordor, from whence he was dragged by the Numies when they came a-conquering.  Or it might have been 'liberating', it was kind of hard to tell with them in their latter days.  

     ANYWAY, Sauron ended up twisting the ear and melon of King Ar-Pharazon, who decided he was going to invade the Undying Lands all the way to the west.  This was a very bad idea, because Ar's invasion force was instantly wiped out when it landed, and the Valar were so ticked off that they sank Numenor.  Art!

     Shades of Atlantis, hmmm?

     Shades of Lyonesse, too.  Ol' Tolky would have been well-up on that particular legend, since it was British in origin.  Legend has it that this was a prosperous kingdom lying beyond Land's End, stretching all the way to the Scilly Isles.  Art!

     Human hubris being what it is, the inhabitants did Something So Awful (which deed specifically is left to the imagination) that the Lord punished them by inundation overnight, with no survivors.  Human imagination being what it is, various seafarers claim that you can hear the bells of the 192 drowned churches if the tides and currents are right.

     The thing is ...  Art!

     

     In 3000 BC the sea levels were significantly lower, meaning that, instead of an archipelago of islands, there was a single large island.  This is not mere whimsy, it's the result of four years of research into the subject.  This single large island got inundated around 2500 BC, and some Cornish folk maintain that the sinking of Lyonesse is a romanticised folk-memory of that event.

     

Let The Kicking Commence!

Now that the weekend is behind us, people have been reviewing and criticising "The Marvels" with a fervour I've not seen since "Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny" back in June.  Art!

     All I did was put "The Marvels" into Youtube's search box and these are what came up.  You might be thinking 'O yes a bunch of toxic haters who cares" but things are objectively bad for this film.  A big tentpole picture like this is expected to make boatloads of money over the first weekend as audiences flock to see it, which simply didn't happen.  I can put up another financial disaster as an example.  Art!

     These are the box office figures for Indy 5.  $60 million might sound like a lot, but in order to get on track for making a profit, this film ought to have been making AT LEAST $100 million over these three days, more probably $120 million.
     How has TM done? O I thought you'd never ask!

     $47 million for the opening domestic is an embarrassment.  A month ago those pundits wearing rose-tinted contact lenses were guesstimating that the BO haul would be $75 - $85 million for these three days, which got trimmed down to $50 - $60 million as the release date got closer.  No wonder Cheesy doesn't want anything to do with Captain Marvel any more.  Perhaps the sequel to "Five Nights At Freddy's" will be looking for a cameo by a star everyone loathes?

"The War Illustrated"

Let's wheel on another picture from the edition I've caught up to.  Art!

     Dull stuff, perhaps.  Well, no, it is dull and no two ways about it.  Having to bother about flies and disease whilst the opposition are trying to kill you with shells and bombs is a bit of a disconnect.  Art!

     What's wrong with these pictures?  Spot what's missing.  That's right, the Sinister Union, who then and afterwards liked to boast that they won the war single-handedly.  No Sinister fleets of warships, nor aircraft, nor brigades of naval infantry visible here.

"City In The Sky"

Barclay, Chief Warden of Arc One, has been flexing his muscles and showing how awesomely important and influential he is, by confiscating Ace's radio transceiver.

     Terry, spurred on by injured pride that anyone dared criticise his homeland, spoke up in it’s defence.

     ‘New Eucla’s not dangerous!  People don’t get skin cancer any more and there never was much fallout.  The worst things that happen are winter storms, you get lightning and ships at sea have foundered.  All you have to do to avoid danger is stay away from the outback if you travel alone.’

     This statement stirred the interest of the listening Deputies, who needed to consider the possibility, no matter how slim it seemed at that moment, of sending Arcology One’s population Downstairs. 

     ‘An interesting hint, Terry.  Can you enlarge on it?  Don’t forget none of us have ever set foot in Australia.   Nor upon Earth, for that matter,’ asked Christos.

     Terry felt equally adrift.  The only familiar thing in this giant space station was the bamboo chair underneath him.

     ‘Um.   Let me think.  First, you need to keep clear of the dingoes.  Dingoes – wild dogs,’ he added, seeing uncertainty on his audience’s faces.

     ‘Not feral ones.  They’ve been around for thousands of years,’ added Ace helpfully.

     ‘Thank you,’ said Emilia, drily, and Ace remembered that the woman was a vet.  ‘Will they attack humans?’

     Will they attack Gallifreyans?  Stick around to find out!

Speaking Of Which -

As you should surely know by now, the BBC got rid of a lot of 'Doctor Who' episodes on film back in the early Seventies, because who on earth would want to re-watch them?  O boy did they feel foolish when the VCR market exploded in the Eighties.

     'twould appear that two missing episodes have been - er - 'discovered' in someone's attic, that someone being an ex-BBC employee.  Drum roll, ticker tape, thrown popcorn - except they're not keen on handing them back to the Beeb, because they might get prosecuted for theft.  Conrad doubts it; this stuff was taken home over fifty years ago and I can't see the Beeb being bothered to take an aged pensioner to court for an offence that old.

Finally -

The rest of the folks have returned from foreign climes, so Conrad is now reduced in the eyes of Edna to an also-ran.  Colour Conrad crushed.  Crushed I tell you!  She will come slinking slyly back when I cook food, though, just you wait.