Of Marvel And Money

Aha!  Found It!

No, not the Weirdstone of Brisingamen.  You see, I've been listening to a clutch of Youtube channels recently that have been - let us say "extremely critical" and leave out the swear words - about "The Marvels" specifically and both Disney and Marvel more generally.  Several quoted from a "Variety" article that I've only just tracked down.  Art!

Here for a reason

     The journalist responsible is one Tatiana Siegel, the V Editor for Film and Media, and she lays into Disney and Marvel with gusto, pretty much spiking them as Blade does with vampires (told you it was there for a reason).  Art!

Ol' Tatty

     You see, the shine has definitely worn off superhero films and television series, which is a bit of a problem for Marvel as these were their stock-in-trade.  One reason for this is audience burn-out, thanks to the sheer number of titles being produced and streamed or shown: "Wandavision", "Ms. Marvel", "Loki", "She-Hulk", "The Book Of Boba Fett*", "Secret Invasion", "The Mandalorian*" to name but some of the Disney + streaming shows.

     What's the take-away from this?  Even Bob Iger, the CEO of Disney, stated that the studio had lost direction and focus with it's streaming services.  More prosaically, it meant that producers were expecting their VFX teams to work 14 hour days with no overtime pay, one reason for becoming unionised.  It also meant shoddy and slipshod VFX work on the TV shows - and films.  Art!

    Incidentally, the article revealed that "She-Hulk" cost $25 million per episode, or $225 million for the nine-episode run, which works out at $1 million per minute.  Yet the VFX were allegedly execrable.  I shall have to take this on trust as Your Humble Scribe has never watched it and has no compulsion to remedy this deficiency.
     Further to the above, "Blade"'s original script had the character playing fourth fiddle to three female leads, who were focussed on teaching the audience 'life lessons', whatever they might be.  "A metal frisbee is not a toy", "Never run with scissors" or "Port means 'left' and Starboard means 'right", perhaps?  The star, Mr. Ali, threatened to walk away if this divisive nonsense wasn't rectified; he has two Oscars under his belt already and he was going to 'feature' in his own film?  It's already on it's second director and fifth script.  So - they are back to square one with six weeks to go before production starts.  Art!

     This is just bizarre.  As a promotion for "The Marvels" they are live-streaming cats in a cafe.  Whose idea was this? because I'll have a pint of what they're smoking, thanks very much.  Don't forget this film was originally budgeted at $250 million, before they did four weeks of reshoots, which analysts are estimating may have added AT LEAST $25 million to the total.  We'll probably have to wait until later in the year to get an accurate total for this, once British tax returns get posted.  Ol' Tatty is a bit behind the times on TM, because in her article it was being estimated as opening between $75 - $85 million, which has now been downrated to perhaps $45 - $60 million.  Which upper bound was the opening for Indy 5, a film that failed to get even 66% of it's budget back, let alone make a profit.  Art!

"Phoebe realised that, standing next to Harrison, her hat was a sad failure"

     We'll get an idea of TM's box office next Thursday, as these tentpole films usually have a premiere release in a limited number of theatres the day before the official opening day.  Bring your own popcorn.

Here's One For Those Not Present

As you should surely know by now, Conrad is dog-sitting Edna for two weeks, the hardest part of which is her acting as a Dog Alarm Clock.  Also, she covets my comfy chair above all else in this world, except possibly food.  Art!

"Yes?"

     True, it is next to the radiator, and it usually has a cardigan of mine to render it extra-specially comfy and padded, but - and I think most of you will back me on this - IT'S MY CHAIR!

     We have also been out for Second Walkies before nightfall, as once it gets dark the monsters come out, mostly the fireworks begin.

"Cango And Tush"

I am a little hesitant about posting this item, given how creatively bankrupt Hollywood is, and the possibility of one of their suits coming across BOOJUM! and stealing ideas.  Art!

Cango

Tush

     You see, "Tango And Cash" came out in 1989, and 34 years later if it were 're-imagined' for a modern audience, the two leads would be females - in this case strippers/models/waitresses <delete most insulting> with hearts of gold, who play characters at least thirty years younger than themselves, and whom break up <thinks> a slavery trafficking ring " - despite being ditzy blondes!!" or some such shizzle.  Nor would they take their clothes off; they're proper actresses you know, but it would guarantee a certain sleazy demographic paid to watch it.  Plus, Kurt Russell and Sly Stallone would have cameos as their disapproving fathers, who nevertheless come round to appreciating how empowering their chosen career is.  O and they both have Master's degrees in Advanced Astrophysics.  AND they used to work for NASA, but left because of the Patriarchy, which is symbolised by Tommy Lee Jones, whom they throw in a skip.
     Okay, Hollywood, that will be $20 million, thanks.

"City In The Sky"

We are having one of the occasional vignettes that describe life beyond the Arcology and Australia's coastal survivors.

     Since landing from Washington five years previously the fifty men and women of Operation Phoenix had managed great things.  Two completely re-assembled shuttles now resided in storage, preserved in an atmosphere of argon.  A kilometre-long runway had been constructed, painstaking metre by metre, north of the mine complex and along the bed of a road from before the Crash.  Recycled derricks and rigs had given themselves up to form a functional launch tower; the structure would have horrified NASA staffs from as far back as the Fifties, but it held up in a tropical storm without buckling or breaking, which satisfied Operation Phoenix.  If they managed to create a sufficiently powerful rocket fuel, they could even re-use their venerable landing shuttle.

     Yet over the last two years there had been a series of disasters and accidents.  Not from the locals.  No.  They were friendly enough, willing to trade for food, or do menial work under supervision, or help with communicating to other colonies along the Gulf of Mexico.  Nor were they allowed on-site; a long perimeter fence with ground sensors backed up by armed patrols, infra-red beams and occasional dogs kept any unauthorised visitors away.  The official representatives of Uncle Sam Downstairs weren’t going to chance anyone damaging their precious shuttles.

     Why, it's almost as if someone or something were carrying out acts of sabotage.

Thanks But No Thanks

This will probably have slipped from your memory, as it's old news.  Conrad has been trying to lay hold of a very particular military history work, which, if Art will do the honours after laying down his bowl of coal -

     Let me correct an error here.  This book was published in hardback in 2016, NOT 2022.  Presumably it didn't sell very well as there haven't been any new editions since then and it never came out in paperback, either.  A shame, that, it got good reviews on "We Have Ways".  Also, the cover price was £35, not £98, and the vendors are also ripping people off with a P & P of £16.16 when £10 would be excessive.  Kindly beggar orff!

Finally -

Since Edna cannot sit in the Comfy Chair, she has done the next best thing and is sitting on me.  This will have to end in a second as I have a comfort break and go make tea.

*  Yes yes yes, neither are Marvel.  I needed to lengthen the list.  Sue me.