You Know How It Is
There you are, realising that it's 18:21 and you've not even begun the next day's blog, when suddenly inspiration strikes in the form of an underclad young lady. In case you mis-interpret this as Conrad being a disgusting sleaze, or even sleazily disgusting, allow me to illustrate my point. Art!
THIS IS A MAJOR MISTAKE! I have cavilled about this before, and am going to yark at length about it now, because I can and because I have this bottle of gin to empty in the meantime.
Okay, notice that the text informs us, the readers - I will not preface 'readers' with 'gentle' as this game needs you to be brutal - that the fight for survival will involve zombies. What is the principal method of zombies passing infection onto the uninfected? That's right - biting. They bite. Art!
Once bitten you've had it, unless the bitten limb undergoes instant amputation, so good luck if the bite site is on the neck or head. Let's just review what that young lady is wearing, shall we? Art!
A crop-top and a pair of shorts. IS SHE TRYING TO GET BITTEN?
Given the bite strength of an average human jaw, and not forgetting that a necrotic undead corpse will suffer degradation of muscles and tendons, it's impossible for a zombie to bit through fabric such as denim (or leather). This woman ought to be wearing a denim boilersuit and a motorbike helmet with gloves and boots that have plenty of ankle support. This would expose the least amount of skin and prevent any revs from being able to infect her. Art!
This is a shot I've used before, from "Army Of The Dead". I love the film BUT - and you knew that word was coming - it has plot holes you could drive a Greyhound bus through*. Look at all the bare skin on display here, from people who are supposed experts at tackling revs.
<Sorry - 'revs' is short for 'revenants', a word I cooked up myself>
I don't know if this idiocy with regards to clothing extends to other zombie films. Let me Google a little and determine whether or no. Art!
Yes, this is further evidence from "Shaun Of The Dead". Shaun gets minus marks for his bare arms, and Ed in shorts and short sleeves is simply asking to be bitten. Full marks to Liz and Diane for wearing trousers NOT MINISKIRTS OR SHORTS and David for a leather jacket. Nobody is wearing gloves, an oversight I cannot pass on because this is the Zombie Apocalypse and you can loot any clothing store you wish. Art!
Nope!
Six bare arms between them. Admittedly this is South Canada, where everyone has a gun if not five, and they'll be shooting the zombie hordes flat at a distance, but - why take a chance? Rick might not be up to speed on how the zeds attack and cause infection, but his erstwhile partner and wife ought to know better. Also, wearing a 'lemon-squeezer' hat is not going to protect your bonce, Rick. Just so you know. Art!
This still is from a French zombie film, "The Horde", where the Zombie Apocalypse arrives pretty much instantly. However, our hero here ought to know better than to have bare arms, let alone boastfully holding them up to encourage a bit of zombie blood-lust. I have seen it, and in fact have it on DVD, but cannot for the life of me remember how he gets out of this. Perhaps he doesn't.
I did wonder if the Ruffians had zombie movies, and - yes. They do. In fact that's a topic for another day as there is no shortage of 'em.
Circles
Let us have more of this BBC themed photograph exposition. You should be grateful, it means a lot less wibble from Conrad. Art!
Courtesy Tony Cullen
Pretty snazzy, hmmm? This is the underground part of Seville bus station in Spain. The Spaniards - I don't think we've gotten an amusing nickname for them yet - do have an eye for design and architecture. All you have to do to appreciate this picture is to juxtapose it with one from Perfidious Albion. Art!
A Silent Victory
No pictures of war or combat, I promise. Yes, we are talking about the Special Idiotic Operation and one of it's consequences; Ukraine not being able to export it's enormous harvests of grain. I recall at one point last year when a pundit stated that, were Kyiv to export grain by rail and road instead of by sea, it would take them TWO YEARS to get through their backlog.
The reason the Ukes couldn't export by sea was because Peter The Average had exited the old grain treaty, which Turkey was a guarantor for. He expected this to shut down their exports completely, which would be an immense financial burden on Kyiv, and also lead to starvation globally for those nations relying on Ukrainian grain. If The Poisonous Dwarf had a moustache, he'd have been tweaking it at this juncture.
However - a word you may have expected was coming - Art!
Thank you Auntie Beeb
This new route traverses the littoral waters of Romania, Bulgaria and Turkey - all NATO members, which means the Ruffians dare not mess with it for fear of invoking Article Five**.
To date, the Ukes have shifted FOUR MILLION TONS of cargo via this new route. Word has it that the Kremlin needs an interior decorator on site soonest, as Vlad The Mad has been chewing the carpets in his rage. Note that Ruffian state television has completely avoided this topic.
So, no stalemate in the Black Sea. The Ukes have been playing 3D chess here, destroying the Ruffian radar and SAM networks, picking off their ships, liberating Snake Island and the Boiko towers (oil rigs) and generally degrading the Black Sea Fleet, as an end in itself and to allow grain exports.
Spock would grok
"City In The Sky"
We are currently experiencing the opposite of being a city in the sky, since the Doctor and his Plus-One are mooching around New Eucla, an Australian coastal township managing very well after the Big Crash.
They’d been walking past Lenny’s domain,
material for highway repair and maintenance, huge heaps of coal, quarried
stone, chunks of limestone, sand and brickstacks, when he’d made a passing
comment about being two hundred years behind the times. Mike had stopped and glared at him.
‘Watch it, you. We haven’t
forgotten what we came from, y’know.’
With enough grace to blush, Alex mumbled an apology. Mike punched him on the bicep, hard enough to
hurt, making the young engineer wide-eyed with worry that he was about to be
attacked, only for Mike to roll his eyes and apologise in turn.
‘Sorry. It’s hard to remember you
don’t know our ways. We ain’t savages,
you know. We’ve got a cricket league,
and soccer divisions, and rugby too, all along the coast. Civic pride and all that, keeping up the
human heritage.’ He sighed. ‘It’s harder being reminded what we came from
and how hobbled we are now.’
‘The death-sats?’ guessed Alex.
Mike nodded and indicated the scrub-dotted hills beyond New Eucla.
‘Mail by horse. Steam
engines. Stalking prey with a
crossbow. When we should have
telephones, and cars and hunting rifles.
We know what we could have, except we can’t have it. Bloody frustrating!’
I apologise for Mike's vulgarism. What was the author thinking!
"Taxi Driver"
NO! The Sork drama, not the Martin Scorsese film. Conrad has been re-watching it again, because the second season hasn't been released on Netflix yet. Or - it might not have finished filming. I recommend you watch what is a combination of 'Thunderbirds', 'Mission Impossible' and 'The Count Of Monte Cristo' and marvel at Ki Do-Gi and his martial art skills. Art!
Finally -
I think I need to get a bit of tea underway. Later!
* "A coach and horses" is far too nineteenth century.
** "Attack Russia with everything except nukes!"
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