I Think This One Will Be Quite Tangential
Even for BOOJUM! Why, we could even begin this item under the title "ROCK SPACE!!" because a) this would reference yesteryon's blog and b) it would also be an hilarious inversion of the title "Space Rock" and c) we would be mentioning spaces in rocks in passing. This all began with Your Humble Scribe coming back to a word he only encountered for the first time this year: "Quaquaversal" which seems like an unholy amalgam of Seminole and Latin. It is in fact merely Latin (booh!) and is a geological term, meaning <ahem's portentously and adopts stern pose> "Directed outwards in all directions from a common centre." Art!
Er yes well, Adam & The Ants also had a song where their chorus went along the lines of "Diddly Qua Qua" if my raddled memory serves.
ANYWAY that led me to ponder on that classic cautionary quote from the most intellectually-endowed member of the Ghostbusters team, Doctor Egon Spengler. When Egon ever-so-casually drops into the conversation that he 'forgot' to mention an important matter, you can feel the other team member's nether fundaments trying to retreat even further within their body. Art!
O really, Egon? How bad could bad be?
Egon Spengler:
There's something very important I forgot to tell you.
Peter Venkman:
What?
Spengler:
Don't cross the streams.
Venkman:
Why?
Spengler:
It would be bad.
Venkman:
I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Spengler:
Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray Stantz:
Total protonic reversal.
Here is where the concept of 'Quaquaversal' comes into play, as we fondly/fearfully <delete where applicable> anticipate Egon et al transformed into - Art!
That's Egon, Ray, Winston and Peter's individual molecules being zapped across the universe, quaquaversally at E. I think they scrapped that particular script.
"But - but - the Danes? Where do they come in?" I hear you quibble.
I thought you'd never ask! Look no further than Conrad's favourite Danish electro-indie pop band Mew, and their album "+ -" which has several good tracks and an absolute killer classic final one, with a guitar solo truly worthy of being up there with rock's more legendary tunes. It's so good it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. And the title of said track? Art!
Pretty obviously, if you combine several streams, they become a river, right? Of course that reference to 'ripple' is a description of the Ghostbusters un-licenced nuclear accelerator beams.
And <thinks hard> if the heavens are raining roasted marshmallow, then it must be drizzly?
Of course, I could be overthinking this ...
One Tangent Begets Another
If you tally these things up, then you may recall that one of Conrad's very most favouritest episodes of "Starry Trek" is "The Doomsday Machine", which <87 page fanboy screed redacted by Mister Hand in the interests of both mercy and brevity> and you have the tragic Matt Decker commenting on the Planet-Killer's beam weapon of choice: "DECKER: Pure antiproton. Absolutely pure." Art!
These anti-protons would mutually annihilate normal matter, resulting in an enormously destructive beam, quite capable of dicing a planet into chunks. Note that Decker is insistent on how pure the beam is, which implies, if I may be cynical and militaristic here, that the Federation had been toying with this as a weapon system itself, only to be deterred thanks to low levels of anti-protons.
Wow, we've come a long way from Copenhagen, haven't we? Next!
Under The Stars
Because we are - take a look upwards and you'll witness the Planet-Killer suspended in all it's silky sinisterness under stars. Let us move one step beyond this, into the realms of quiet artistic accomplishment back on terra firma, with people taking photographs of the night sky. Art!
Okay, "artistic accomplishment" is clearly going too far for this trio. Not only that, Your Humble Pedant only noticed a single star in the sky. NO! You cannot count the Moon as a star <astronomers faint in horror> because we are not in the Neolithic Age and it is merely a rocky satellite.
Conrad not sure if the chap at centre is old enough to remember "The Old Grey Whistle Test" but I am. Art!
This is the "Starkicker" figure from the show's intro, and No, I have no idea what it means or meant. Go Google and get back to me, ta very much. Conrad is pretty sure that, if you punt a star, there won't be much left of your foot. Or your body. And the shockwave might trigger a supernova or gamma-ray burster. Dead poetic, though.
"Contra Mortui Viventes!"
For Lo! we are back on how effective a Roman legion would be against a horde of the undead. The auxiliary troops have already been covered as regards slingers and archers. Auxiliaries also acted as mounted cavalry, even if only in small numbers, so they could have been working on the horde's flanks and rear, riding and cutting down the revs*. I believe there were only about 120 to an entire legion, so they would merely have been peripheral, yet potentially decisive if things went pear-shaped and a rapid reaction was required. Art!
"What do you think of this as the fascist salute? Yes? No? Needs a bit of work?"
It's a moot point as to whether Roman cavalry horses would actually close with the undead, or if they'd need a cloth soaked in sewage across their nose to prevent jibbing at the vile stench of the zombies, or if their mounted soldiers would have to act as dismounted infantry <shades of the BEF in 1914 hmmm?>.
Finally -
If you read this blog with any degree of regularity <SUCKER!> then you know Conrad is Facebook friends with Listy, who has a proper day job and a hobby that keeps him in Zagnuts and the blood of virgins. Listy has a blog of his own that features an immense amount of fascinating stuff, and I thoroughly recommend it. He has already published books about military history in terms of vehicles and has another just out. Art!
Well, it is payday on Friday so - O! Is that wallet squeaking in anguish? This will be quite the eye-opener to those who think a spigot is only to do with the dispensation of beer in quantity. Art!
Ah - I meant a link to Listy's blog. Try again, Art, and if you manage it before the Tazer is charged then you get off free of charge -
http://overlord-wot.blogspot.com/
Are we now done? <checks> Yes we are!
* Sorry, my own term from my very own zombie opus "Revelations".
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