No! I Am Not Talking About The Ninth Century
Even if "The World" would have been significantly smaller then, probably constricted to Europe, the Mediterranean and the Middle East. No trans-ocean liner services, you see, and flight still a distant hope. The 08:15 service from Paddington would have been "Ye Grate Swalouer and Re-gurgitatorre of Hom. Sap. With a disscownte of 15% for cash".
This, you see, is a memory I recall from Henry Treece's "Viking Saga", a trilogy about Sebaceans - ha! only joking - about Vikings that was a perennial read during my younger years. Art!
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| Spare me the obvious puns, please |
I cannot now recall the details entire and correct, except they went along the lines of "Trust a Wend before a Sorb, and a Sorb before a Frank, and trust a Frank before a snake, BUT DO NOT TRUST A DANE AT ALL."
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| A Great Dane OR IS IT! |
ANYWAY that has but little to do with our topic of today, which is that international war crime in plastic form - LEGO! Art?
IT IS NOT!
And now back to MI5. Art!
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| **** ** * **** *** *** |
Conrad is currently breezing through "I Spy" - sorry, did we leave you behind there? Do keep up! - by retired spook Tom Marcus, about his time in MI5, which is fascinating in it's description of how Perfidious Albion's agents spy on the neérdowells in our society without the bad guys being any the wiser about it. Tom is not what you'd expect an MI5 agent to look like, being small of stature and utterly unremarkable; he is, however, extremely switched-on and mentally agile, being able to lie convincingly in an instant when needed. His professional demeanour breaks down at one crucial point, where he describes the unremitting pain of stepping barefoot on a Lego block.
Where does Lego originate from? Yeah dead right: Denmark. OBVIOUSLY using their NATO cover as a means to world domination. I can see Lego and myself having a very serious conversation in the near future*.
Motley! Let us try to construct a Main Battle Tank out of Lego!
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| Like this but 120 times bigger |
Conrad: Still Hates All Musicals And Is Full Of Rancour To Boot
I know, I know, nobody mentioned musicals in the first place, it's just that I wanted to establish that first off, before we get going. "The Blues Brothers", "This Is Spinal Tap" and "The Return Of Captain Invincible" are comedies with music; this is a fact, it's not debatable and anyone who tries - well, the Remote Nuclear Detonator needs testing.
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ANYWAY that above has nothing to do with my righteous actinic rancour, which has, of course - obviously! - been triggered by a Codeword. It wasn't an especially tricky one, to be honest, just that one of the solutions was FLOATY, which I said a bad word or two about and came back inside from the back yard to consult my Collins Concise. Nope. THAT IS NOT A PROPER WORD!
That above claims to be a floaty. I hope it pops and you have to swim for it.
Which reminds me of a tale about Darwin Award Wannabes. This occurred on one of the Great Lakes, which are essentially an inland sea. A party of adults were having a gas on a large pool float, which probably means there was alcohol involved - this is a frequent theme in DAs. Either it was untethered or their tether came loose, because the currents carried them waaaaay out into Lake Erie. No phones, no lights, no warm clothes and with night falling - an unforgiving accident with a ship just waiting to happen!
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| Erie at night |
Fortunately their cries for help were heard by a passing ship and the Coastguard rescued them. This time!
That encapsulates the dangers of being afloat. NOT afloaty.
And musicals are still rubbish.
A Semi-Useful Bus Poster
One of the better aspects of Covid regulations being loosened is the gradual re-appearance of bus posters, which are a convenient source of content-generation for BOOJUM!, being as the buses that sport them whizz by my window all the time, and frequently as much in defiance of their timetables as following them -
ANYWAY this post is not a critique of First Bus, which is so easy it lacks challenge. No, I refer to one poster that bears the legend, in very large print "WE LIKE IT LOUD".
I see.
Thank you for this valuable insight into your personal preferences, whoever you are. Your poster lacks any readily identifiable content that explains who "We" are, you see, so we don't see, if you see what I mean.
Unlikely to be these chaps as they hail from South Canada, and this tour was 6 years ago, and how on earth can they be sleeping if it's so loud?
Or it could be either or both of these. Who knows, and, indeed, who cares. Not Conrad; to identify the guilty party I'd have to scan every bus that goes past and try to determine which Like It Loud, and then rapidly scan the whole poster for an identifying marque - which is a lot of bother for very little return.
As you can clearly see (and hear) only a semi-useful poster.
Finally -
Ooooh, things are hotting up in "The Expanse" and no mistake. We know that an asteroid directed by rogue Belters disintegrated before hitting Earth, and we've seen Inaros, the villain of the piece, studying various differing orbits for bits of space debris, so we know that there are more to come. Meanwhile, Amos has taken leave of the Rocinante whilst she's being outfitted, and is visiting Baltimore, his unlovely home city.
Your Humble Scribe has read the novels, so I have an outline on what's going to happen, but this series consistently throws in surprises and amendments that make one unsure. Wheee doggy!
* As in short, loud, and with a lot of bodies at the end of it.
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