Conrad Is Diligent!
Or obsessive. I think it's one reason I do jigsaw puzzles. I am referring, of course, to the story on a Reddit Youtube channel about Corona Del Mar High School in South Canada. I thought I'd taken a photo of the relevant thread, but - No. Naturally I tried searching for the thread, at first on Google -
The educational entity itself
Which brought up a ton of links to do with Covid-19 Coronavirus and no Youtube links. Nor could I remember what the thread title was, until I hit upon "What was the 'íncident' at your high school?" which itself brought problems, because - Art!
No shortage of candidates, none of which are numbered, so I've had to review and note them by duration, as no two seem to be the same length. So far I've looked at seven <sigh>.
One story I came across stood out from the rest due to sheer amusement, as a lot of these stories involve unpleasant students being unpleasant. So!
Saint Thomas, of the US Virgin Islands. Art!
The narrator, hereafter known as 'OP', was at high school, when a total lockdown was ordered. Police SWAT teams - which OP hadn't known existed until then - were patrolling the streets of Saint Thomas. The reason? They were trying to track down an escaped Bengal tiger. These things are 1) Large and 2) Dangerous - you may have been ahead of me here - and the school didn't want any of it's students ending up as predator canapes. Art!
Terrifying!
OP was escorted from the school, as were all the other students, by a pair of SWAT troopers; one on the left and one on the right, both keeping a sharp lookout for feral jaws and claws. They got him to his father's car and then they were off home. All very blood and thunder, plus a day off school.
The denouement? More embarrassing than exciting: the escapee was a Bengal CAT, which went by the name of "Tiger". Art!
Terrifying! - to mice.
At least it gave the SWATties a chance to look cool.
Motley, here's a PIAT, we're going to go hunting Tigers!
One we hunted earlier
Still With The South Canadian Animals Theme
There is a tongue-twister that the folks across The Pond are fond of: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" This is very silly for several reasons, the first of which would be 'Why is this supposed woodchuck throwing wood in the first place?'
It's a big Kubrick fan?
Secondly, where is this wood coming from, hmmmm? If it's in the form of branches and twigs, then there's a limit to the size of wood our hypothetical woodchuck can pick up and thus throw. Or does it have access to a pile of perfectly-proportional pre-cut planks? which is stretching probability to breaking point. Thirdly, does the woodchuck have a five-minute break every half hour, or does it keep on hurling lumber until it collapses?
I salute you ambition, mate, but that's not going to work
We're not done with this topic*.
"Under The Stars"
Don't fret if astronomy's not your bag - though I question whether this blog is realllllly for you especially if you also express disinterest in zombies and atom bombs - as there aren't that many more photos from the BBC's webpage left to coo over. Art!
As taken by Rachael Blakey
This one hails from New Brunswick in British America, featuring both the Milky Way and a creepy abandoned house, which appears to be sinking. Good on Rachael for sticking around long enough to get the shot, because Your Humble Scribe wouldn't have stopped until the Sinking Shack was a dot in the rear-view mirror. Yes I am a massive coward, and no I wouldn't be caught by any of the tropes in a horror film.
Contra Mortui Viventes!
Again, if you're not at all interested in zombies then this blog is probably not for you, as we return to the fascinating subject of how a Roman legion would have tackled a horde of the living dead. Their Auxiliary troops have already been covered, as has the legionary's shield; let us now look at their personal weapons, the sword and javelin (known as the 'gladius' and 'pilum' respectively). Art!
Lots of stabby, pointy sharp things
Pilum first. It would take a feat of marksmanship to hit a zombie in the head with a javelin, although it could be done; just not often enough to be effective in stopping a horde. In conventional combat it was intended to punch through a shield, keep going and impale anyone behind it, and, even if it failed to injure them, trying to keep a shield up when it's being dragged down by a six-foot javelin is tricky. Zombies, lacking shields, would one hundred per cent get impaled, and would then come to an abrupt halt as the javelin shaft drooped at an angle and impacted the ground. Art!
"Gustum Romanus pila, mortui viventes!"
These things had a maximum range of about thirty yards and legionaries carried two of them, so an attacking horde would be hit by hundreds of javelins. Once thus immobilised, they'd be dog-food for the archers and slingers loitering on the flanks, or if the legion counter-attacked.
I think we'll leave the gladius until tonight's post. Too much of a good thing and all that**.
Finally -
Currently Conrad is sitting downstairs in the lounge, for practical reasons. It is dismally dark outside and the lounge's enormous bay window allows in far more of the dingy daylight than the much smaller windows in my Sekrit Layr, meaning I'm not risking eyestrain quite so much. It also means I can watch "Sweet Home" on the big screen monitor, thus getting to witness every gory detail in appropriate detail.
Aha! I caught sight of a bus poster - also much easier to see from this perspective - about "On the go?" and the logo for Kitkat was in there at the very bottom, an important detail not visible from my Sekrit Layr chair. Art!
Sadly no sign of the bus poster despite extensive Googling <heavy sigh>
And with that, Vulnavia, we is done.***
* Is that fear or excitement you're quivering with?
** Routine disclaimer - of course, I may be over-thinking this.
*** Yes yes yes I know that's bad grammar. Sue me.
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