At least not yet. We shall be dealing with our expired Erithacus Rubecula, don't you worry; just not now. The Judge is still in his chambers, for one thing, and the court ushers are keeping a weather eye open for malicious-looking old prog rockers.
Here an aside. Yes, already! I don't know why you look so underwhelmed, it's not as if you pay for this scrivel. Art!
To which I would like to juxtapose this - Art!
One begets the other. You may not be aware, but the Fifth season of "The Expanse" is going to be the penultimate one. After Season Six, they are done. Who bankrolls TE? Why, none other than Amazon Prime. Who owns Amazon Prime? Why, none other than Jeff Bezos. Yes, the chap who's just been up into space on his own private rocketship. And yes, this may be Current Affairs, which we usually avoid, except where we feel like it, and today we feel like it. If you don't like it, may I not-so-very respectfully remind you about No Pay To Read?
ANYWAY let us see Jolly Jeff in the skin. Art!
What Conrad is hoping for, however slim that hope, is that Jolly Jeff will have an epiphany thanks to his space ride and realise that "The Expanse" needs indefinite funding. Yeah! Season 10 here we come*!
Where were we?
O yes, about the beasts and birds attempting to make Your Humble Scribe's life more difficult than it need be. As you should surely know by now, Conrad has suspended his perpetual grievance with First Bus as he hardly uses them now, and has instead instituted a feud with Codeword compilers at the Manchester Evening News. Normally you, gentle reader, catch the fallout of this with a series of enraged definitions and comments from Your Humble Scribe, often resorting to block capitals and bold fonts in bright red.
I have a new and different complaint as of today. Art!
OF COURSE I solved it - am I not Codeword Conrad? - but you must admit a coincidence at this level implies definite intent not mere accident. In stark contrast the contiguous Codewords to starboard were eminently reasonable and absent all sinister synchronicity. I am, however, making sure the Guard Hog adds his formidable brother, the Hard Hog**, to our standing patrols beyond The Mansion's minefields. Just in case.
Motley! Put on this pair of Toe-Tector boots and go check that the minefields work properly!
Excuse Me, Would You Mind Awfully If I Murdered You?
Conrad was looking over the notes in an old notebook of his and came across mention of 'Kaspar Hauser' with the gleeful entry "Mystery solved!". You may not be aware of the nature of the case; briefly put, a stunted individual turned up out of nowhere in early nineteenth-century Germany, claiming to be this and that in a tale of woe, how he'd been locked up in a narrow cell ever since being born, never learned to read or write, O Poor Pitiful Me -
There was all sorts of ill-informed speculation about him, including that he was the illegitimate offspring of local aristocrats. He was definitely a liar, as his story about his background changed continually, and he picked up reading and writing so quickly that he'd obviously already learned them. When people began to get fed up or bored with him - Suddenly Something Happened! Such as the time when he was found in the cellar of his guardian's house, with a knife wound to his head. Allegedly this had been inflicted by a sinister assassin, in fact his jailer from those years of captivity, who had warned that Hauser would be killed -
RED FLAG NUMBER ONE: Nobody else ever saw this mystery assailant, who managed to enter this house and molest Hauser without anyone else noticing. That said, how very polite to give a warning about imminent execution! Were Conrad to be contracted as a killer with a knife, rest assured the deed would be done, and one assumes this to be true of any hired murderer with an ounce of work ethic. Art!
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| "They don't like it up 'em, Mister Mainwaring!" |
I think we'll leave our Teuton fraud right there in the spotlight for the time being. Don't fret, Kass, we'll be back***.
We Now Portray The Milky Way
As part of our continuing reference to the BBC's open entry on the theme of "Under The Stars", let us now have one of people camping out under les etoiles. Art!
As taken by Srinivasa Prasath, which sounds Indian. They don't say where they actually took the picture, so - take your best guess. They do mention the Milky Way as our home galaxy and so have at least a modicum of astronomical knowledge. Their cosy little tents make quite a contrast with the epic night sky here.
Weird Film Redux
Apologies if you've been pining for another celluloid crash-course in crazy, there's just been so much other guff before I got to cinema stuff. The drought of same ends here with "Cemetery Man", a film I have not seen myself, yet, which I may deign to in future. It scores 7.1 on IMDB, which is very impressive for what seems to be a slightly arty take on the zombie movie. Art!
Francisco is the cemetery man in the Italian town of Buffalora, who is tasked with not only burying people the first time they die, but also a second time when they arise as the undead. One hopes he gets either a higher hourly rate or an honourarium for doing two jobs. He's not looking to save the world, just Buffalora, for which he is mocked, abused or ignored by the rest of the town. Even his love life goes wildly astray, causing him to go on a murder spree that - nobody notices.
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| Shower first! |
Finally he and his mono-syllabic assistant, Gnaghi, try to leave the town, only to realise that there is a problem with reality ...
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| Ooops. |
It sounds like a wild and groovy ride, with zombies. What's not to like?
Finally -
There was an article on the BBC earlier today that, typically, I cannot find any more, so we'll just have to go with this semi-arbitrary image I dug up from the wilds of Teh Interwebz - Art!
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| "I am already knee-deep in swamp. Only my BBC training allows me to remain calm." |
The nature of the article was that, thanks to global warming, lots of frozen Russia is thawing and revealing all sorts of interesting things.
Hmmmm.
Conrad would like to point out that wayward futurologist and prophet H.P. Lovecraft warned that the evil and sinister Plateau of Leng was located in those very same regions.
Art!
Keep watching the swamps as well as the skies, I say ....
* Dammit a man can dream, can't he?
** Stunt double on "Razorback" and "Hannibal"
*** Though he won't. Heh.
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