Space Rock!

Normally You Out There Would Merely Roll Your Eyes -

Comment "O it's Conrad again - does this concern Pink Floyd or Hawkwind again?", roll over and go back to sleep.  Perhaps awakening briefly to add " - or Seventh Wave?" before once again succumbing to the depths of doziness.  Art!

     NO!  NONE OF THE ABOVE!  

     I refer to a real rock from space, what you humans we call a meteor until it hits terra firma, at which point it becomes a meteorite.  This particular one scorched the heavens over Norway, land of the Vikings.  We've already sent a Viking to Mars, I suppose it's only to be expected if the heavens throw one back at us.  Art!

Meteor at upper port

     This particular apparition from the skies was unusual because so many people saw and heard it, thanks to it's descent being near the Nork capital Oslo.  If it had fallen further north, say in the Finnmark, where there is one person per million hectares*, we'd not be talking about it now.  Art!

     Legions of Norks are out searching for the meteorite, last we were told.  All well and good, just as long as no locals end up as desiccated lifeless husks, or we'll know H.P. Lovecraft was a futurologist not a fiction writer.  If this had happened 70 years ago then RAF jet fighters might have been scrambled to deal with what would have been seen as a UFO over NATO territory, leading to Meteors dealing with meteors.  Art!

Pip pip, chin chin, tally-ho old sport, and other dated RAF slang!

Going Underground

NO!  NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT SONG BY THE JAM!

     Although, in an aside to an aside, said song was the inspiration for "Nemesis the Warlock" in 2000AD Lo! all those many decades ago, under a supposed byline "Comic Rock" which existed for exactly one issue.

     No, we are returning to Martin Zero and the Northern Monkeys, in their underground exploration of Gambleside Colliery's subterranean tram-lines of the mid- to late-nineteenth century.  Art!

     This is the sub-surface chamber accessible via an anonymous hole on the Lancashire Moors; it is ankle-deep in sludge and water, and one remains thankful that Youtube does not enable smell in their videos.  From here the team were able to access the tramlines where coal and spoil were hauled by people or ponies.  Art!

     This is an example of the underground tunnel work, done in stone and still hale after 140 years.  There is a lot of footage of this or similar, which is pretty repetitive, enlivened only by iron or calcite deposits called 'Miner's snot' because - well, because it fits the description.  You can't see the tramline remains as they're under water; trust me, they are there.  Art!

     That horizontal obstacle is what Martin described as a "singing beam".  This, from his account, was a solid timber beam placed between opposite sides of the tunnel walls, and if it began to squeak or squeal - then the tunnel walls were closing in and you needed to scarper, quickest.  A precaution both worrying and wise.  Art!

     Journey's end.  This is where a collapse had blocked the tunnel completely, bar a six-inch gap at the top.  Martin, being a man without fear, scrambled to the top of this rubbish pile to view the next tunnel section - which had been close by another collapse.  A Northern Monkey colleague commenting on Youtube said that these collapses hadn't been present when he'd been down the tunnels; so one can conclude that these are recent events.  Yet another reason to permit Martin and Co. to do the exploring so we don't have to!

"Contra Mortui Viventes!" 

Allow me my indulgence.  We have, of late, been wondering how effective a Roman legion would be against a horde of the living dead - see this item's title for an explanation in Latin.  Yesterday we dealt with Balearic slingers, who could perforate a cranium at a couple of hundred yards with their hurled lead shot.  They were one of the 'Auxiliary' types of troops attached to a legion, as were the -

Art, I am getting the Tazer

     EXCUSE ME I meant the other Auxiliary troops who happened to be archers, and if Art can cease his twitching, quivering and generating smoke -

     Here we see the archers preparing to loose a volley.  Normally their opponents would have armour and shields to protect against the incoming arrows, two defensive factors that zombies lack.  Nor would it take long for said toxophilists to reason that, if they hit their undead enemy anywhere but the head, they continued to advance.  Unlike slingers, archers have a finite volume of missiles, so, once expended, they would have to retreat.  If they were feeling daring, of course, they could nip into the undead horde and attempt to retrieve used arrows.  A bit of a death or glory approach.

"Sweet Home"

You remember, that Korean horror drama that has nothing remotely sweet about it, and which is set in an apartment block, not a house?  Your Humble Scribe is almost at the end of Episode Three, and can blithely state that this appears to have been inspired (for which read "we stole their ideas") by the television series "The Mist" in that we have a barricaded community under siege by monsters.  Part of the apartment block is occupied by a supermarket, and since this is supposed to take place in September 2020, Korean logistics are up to the mark and there aren't any gaps on the shelves.

     Although I doubt this will be the current survivors main focus.  Art!

Okay, we now know some people survive

     If it's been renewed for a second season, then at least one or two of the characters I've seen so far have to live, am I right?

Finally -

Yes yes yes we've still got to formally end the trial of Sparrow and potentially Dove for the ghastly murder of Cock Robin, please keep watching this space.  Conrad, in his capacity as lead prosecutor, is firmly of the opinion that the defendants are attempting to swamp the court with irrelevant and invidious testimony.  This has been raised with the Judge.

NO! Not that J - O you know what?  Never mind.

     Vulnavia!  Check and see if we're done, will you?  Thanks so much!

*  An entirely fictional statistic.  Sorry but I can't be bothered to go look up Norwegian census returns for their regions.