Since Bus Posters Proved A Source Of Content Creation
After all, with no cinemas open, why would film companies bother to promote their product? THIS IS EXTREMELY SELFISH AND THEY ARE NOT TAKING BOOJUM! INTO CONSIDERATION <ahem> The dearth of same seems to be almost over now, as every other bus going past now sports a big, bright banner lauding "Fast And Furious 19" and if Art will oblige -
Conrad has to confess he's got absolutely no idea what this franchise is about: it seems to consist of cars, shooting, more cars, things blowing up and yet more cars. No wonder the acting <coughcough> linchpin of this series is a man named Diesel. It will probably cease when Mister Diesel decides he wants to do Shakespeare*.
ANYWAY back to films on bus posters. This now allows Conrad to do a BOOJUM! Film Review, and as it's been so long, allow me to explicate our rigidly-applied guiding principles (which may also be immediately abandoned if we feel like it): 1) We go off the film's title; 2) we generalise wildly; 3) We may capitalise after punctuation or not, depending on how we feel. art!**
How to restrain cats the Mark Kermode way!
Go look up reviews from Ol' Mark above if you want a proper film review. Let the biased badinage begin!
"Black Widow": nOPE**. We all know what a massive coward Conrad is, and also how unreasonably entirely justifiably terrified he is of spiders. What, is this a two-hour documentary on the horrid eight-legged fiends? Possibly not, I note that there is also a human female off in the corner of the poster. Art?
Don't tell me, her super-power is being able to transform into a black widow spider six feet tall weighing a hundred and eighty pounds? Well okay, I think that would cause any bad guys to instantly surrender and require fresh underwear. What if her powers went wonky? There she is in the queue at Starbucks, ready to pay for her Double Decaff Mocha Pumpkin Weasel-Poop Latte and - Hay Pesto! suddenly she's a spider. Cue panic flight of customers. Also, she'd drop the coffee - spiders not having mutually opposable digits.
"Your Honor": It really, REALLY grates with Your Humble Scribe to use the incorrect South Canadian spelling here, yet since that's what's on the bus poster it's what we have to use here. Sticklers for accuracy and all that. Art!
<imagine the sound of teeth being gritted very hard indeed>
Conrad is taking a calculated guess here, that this is about a judge in the South Canadian judicial system? Because there are lots of different types of courts over there - no we're not going to make cheap sporting puns here - presided over by various breeds of judges. One thing I have learned from my watching countless "Legal Eagle" Youtube videos is that the presiding judge in a court is The Big Dog. When they say jump, you imitate an Olympic pole-vaulter. And as Devin only half-jokingly asserts, when the judge makes a joke, you laugh. Whenever they castigate, compliment, denigrate or eulogise, they do it in deliberately understated language.
No idea about the program itself.
"Space Jam: A New Legacy": Hmmmm Conrad only caught this in a passing glimpse and thought it said "Special Jam", immediately conjuring up thoughts of Turkish Delight or Blueberry & Banana flavours - sadly no. How about Bubblegum flavour jam? Persimmon Jam? actually I've made that myself and it is so cloyingly sweet and full of so much sugar only thinking about it is practically bringing on a diabetic coma.
O the film? Art!
 |
| The sequel nobody asked for |
Well I think that's enough critical roasting for one post, especially since those inconsiderate swine at First Bus haven't put up any new posters.
Motley! Time to play Which Whack-a-Mole Is The Booby-Trapped One - it might be tNT** or it might be tetrodotoxin, who knows ...
Time For More Astronomy
Another shortlisted photograph from the list of hopefuls wanting to claim the prize and all that goes with it - er - which is probably a nice trophy and a warm fuzzy feeling rather than countless millions of your national specie. Art!
"Harmony" by Stefan Lieberman
This is a photo of our galaxy, the Milky Way, as taken in a lavender field in France - one hopes young Stefan got the farmer's permission - and is the kind of image you can only get when well away from civilisation, otherwise the light from towns and cities would drown it out. You can see why the ancient Greeks called it "galaxias" for "Milky".
I was going to hold forth on the solutions for a Codeword, which would doubtless go on too long and cause us to exceed the Compositional Ton and then some - so we shall have that unalloyed pleasure tomorrow. Meanwhile -
Strange And Exotic Machineries Of Mayhem
Yes, we return to 'Magicfingers' and his website "With The British Army In France And Flanders" which is rather a misnomer -
- dog Buns**, a 409 went past and it's poster was - "Your Honor" again!
- as he also deals with other armies, most recently the Italians. We've already mentioned their discus-shaped hand-grenade, the Lenticolare M14. Well, as with all armies of the First Unpleasantness, the Italians were always looking at ways to hurl their explosive ordnance further than the muscles of mere mortal men managed, and so -
Taken from:
I hope Magicfingers doesn't mind me re-using his photograph, as it's the only one of this device I can find. The link to his article above. Anyway, as he points out, this weapon is almost unique in using centripetal force to launch a bomb - seen being inserted in the first picture. As can be seen from the second, you cranked the handle on the other side once the bomb had been inserted, and centripetal force threw it from the barrel once it became vertical. This means your bomb arrives with absolutely no warning as there is no explosive action involved, which must have meant many a startled Austro-Hungarian soldier on the receiving end.
Italian soldiers, French helmets
Finally -
Not exactly looking forward to either my constitutional nor walking Edna, as the weather here in the Pond Of Eden is muggy, overcast and with intermittent torrential downpours where the Atlantic unloads from the heavens. We may have to re-christen it the Second Pacific, it being so friendly that it always comes to visit ...
* Or - Booth Tarkington!
** See?
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