Metaphorically Mixing

If You Read This Nonsense On A Regular Basis -

Then you know Conrad is a bit of a one for crosswords.  Okay, a lot of a one.  A day without a Cryptic or Codeword takes the shine off life's rich patina.  Besides which, they keep my mind active and my Rage glands fully occupied.

     Conrad is also sufficiently compulsive and focussed to additionally enjoy the occasional jigsaw puzzle.  These can sometimes prove elusive to complete, as I am given to knocking over the fibreboard the pieces are housed upon, and just try locating a low-contrast jigsaw piece on a mottled brown carpet.

     ANYWAY I'm sure you're already twiddling your thumbs and wondering where this Intro is going.  Art!

Behold!

     A jigsaw puzzle that, when completed, forms a giant crossword!  Note the tin off in a corner, which has to be carefully consulted as regards the completed picture on the cover, because there's a solution to the crossword inside the tin.  Conrad now has to consider what medium to use in solving the crossword, as the tiles are made of wood and using a pencil may well permanently mark the tile.  Biro <hack spit> would probably dig in and permanently mark as well.  Would fibre-tip wipe off?  Because once assembled and solved, it would be good drills to return it to a charity shop.  Wonder Wifey would jib at the crossword solving.

Happy happy Conrad; he's done the Cryptic

     Here an aside.  Yes, another, do keep up!  Do not confuse "Cryptic" with "Cryptid" because the two are entirely dissimilar, despite being next-door neighbours in the alphabet.  "Cryptic" means to be deliberately obscure, of ambiguous meaning and difficult to interpret clearly.  "Cryptid", on the other hand, is a supposed species of animal unknown to modern zoology, as in the Loch Ness Monster or the Yeti.  You know, the shaggy dog in the shaggy dog story that sheds no hairs ever.

Help! A ferocious Chupacabra!

Talking Of Fictional Nonsense -

Back to Kaspar Hauser!  You recall, the distinctly dodgy urchin who claimed all sorts of things, none of which were falsifiable.  We've already debunked his allegations of a murder attempt, because the assassin was apparently persuaded that a slight cut to the forehead and a threat was pretty much the same as murder.  Blimey - how different would history have been if the assassin Murcius  had decided to leave Lars Porsena with a nick and a nark!  Art!

Deadly insults a speciality

     There was considerable speculation at the time about Kaspar's true origins, and that he might be of aristocratic lineage, as in an heir to a title who had been cruelly prevented from attaining it.  Well, NO!  If that was the case he'd have been quietly disposed of years earlier and the world would never have known.  At least, that's how Your Humble Assassin would have gone about matters.  In this case the wicked gaolers would have to have suddenly gotten a conscience after keeping Ol' Kaspy in a prison cell for 16 years and let him go, to ramble freely where'ere the urge betook him.

RED FLAG NUMBER TWO: Not really fair to add this one in here, but who said BOOJUM! had to be fair?  DNA analysis was carried out on Ol' Kaspy's  blood in the Nineties, which proved he had no aristocratic blood in his veins.  We're not sure who he was, but we know what he wasn't.  Art!

Less "Billy Jean" and more "Duke of Baden"

     We shall come back to this, it still has a gasp or two left in it.

A Century Of Ships

Conrad has recently taken it upon himself to begin reading Volume II of "Official History Of The Great War - Naval Operations" because this one has details of the naval side of the Gallipoli campaign.  The book itself is 100 years old, yet still in pretty good shape apart from the inner binding, wh

     ANYWAY one of the most interesting things about the whole volume is one of the appendices, and here we shall append a series of photographs of same.  Art!

     In case the details are somewhat blurry, allow Conrad to explicate that this is Perfidious Albion's 'Grand Fleet' in detail, as at February 1915.  That's eleven and a half pages to list the MAJOR ships, because what they called "Torpedo Boat Destroyers", which we know as "Destroyers", are only noted down as being so-many in such-and-such a fleet.  There are 97 in total.  O and at least 20 minesweepers and 22 submarines.

    When people 100 years ago sang the National Anthem, that bit about "Brittania rules the waves"? It was no exaggeration.  I believe the Royal Navy's calculation about how large it needed to be was to take the second and third largest navies in the world, lump them together and say "One ship more than that, please."

"Confound their politics" (and scare them)

"Not Yet Accomplished"

You ought to recall, because it was a neat conceit, that Your Humble Scribe wondered if there had been any film or television series which pitted the formidable Roman legions of either Republic or Empire against ZOMBIES!  

     Rather than dig about myself, I enquired of Degsy if he'd ever come across this, as I certainly didn't recall any.  Diligent chap that he is, his digging revealed that cinema and studios were absent of any such entertainment.  However ...

     It seems that this is a bit of a trope in computer gaming.  I don't apologise for not knowing this, it's a bit like not knowing there's a small subculture of 'Trains versus Zombies' which we stumbled across some time back*.

     Degsy did mention that there is a lot of historical speculation about this topic on teh Interwebz from interested parties, which of course got Conrad to wondering about the practicalities of <long screed about swords and spears redacted> enough to get my copy of "Greece And Rome At War" off the bookshelves.  Expect more on this subject - lots more!

Finally -

Dog Buns!  As you know, when a person hits middle age their Murder Mystery genes kick in and they start watching television shows or reading novels.  Conrad is now watching "Murder She Wrote" and will now have to dash to the kitchen in the commercial breaks, of which there are far too many, thank heavens and Bah! combined.  It's interesting to see a positive gallery of South Canadian television regulars on-screen - O look - Fritz Weaver!  Doug McCLure! <blog fades out in witless babbling>

There's a horseman.  And he's headless.

     Sorry, Edna, we have to wait until the thrilling conclusion where all the suspects are gathered together as in an Agatha Christie.

*  Code for I can't remember when and can't be bothered to check.