We've Been Here Before

Not Literally, Of Course -
 - because that would have meant travelling forward in time, and you we don't have that capability yet*.  
     No, what I mean is that, once again, Conrad is annoyed at The Metro's Cryptic crossword compilers, for a couple of reasons.  You'll just have to trust me about the clue as I've binned the paper - what, you think I get it for the news?! - so I don't have a photo, but it went along the lines of "Statuesque lady provided celebration meal".
     This next bit is going to be tricky as I want to remain SFW.  Art?

A behind still made of stone, not flesh, so we're okay.  I think.

     I had several of the letters, so I worked out the answer was "GALATEA", which is Greek for "She of the milk-white skin".
     Here an aside.  If you were an aristocrat of ancient times, then you did your best to avoid getting a tan, because tanning implied you were a peasant who worked in the fields, whereas if you were white as chalk, then you were someone special.

Not quite what I had in mind, Art, but let's move on -

     I only got GALATEA because I'd read the name somewhere and it stuck.  It transpires that she was the sculpture created by the artist Pygmalion, which 1) He fell in love with, thus proving himself a bit of a perv, and 2) was so perfect that it came to life (with a bit of help from Venus)  and they lived happily ever after.  Or probably not, the old Greek gods didn't like happy endings - let me just check - oh they did okay.  Sporting goddess, that Venus.
     My quibble is, how on earth would anyone who didn't have a retentive memory and a mind like a skip ever get that answer?  Given the clue it could just as well have been 
FETEFOOD or even RAVENOSH or <Mister Hand intervenes to prevent this getting silly> SCRAN.

Both RAVING and NOSHING

     I was going to carry on with the second clue that I took offence at, but, given the subject matter that's coming up, I think I'll delay that until tomorrow.  Lucky you.
     Okay, motley, choose my left hand or right hand.  Right hand?  Ha!  You get an Everton mint.  Which I shall watch you eat.

What Did I Say About A Retentive Memory?
That word 'Galatea' immediately brought back memories of a short story written by Alfred Bester entitled "Galatea Galante or The Perfect Popsy", which is not bad going since it was published forty years ago.  Your Humble Scribe has no idea what it's about, nor why the name stuck in my head.  I did a little internet cruising and still couldn't find out what it's about.  In my searching, though, I did come across a PDF version that's now sitting on my laptop waiting to be read.  I'll let you know.
     No pictures of GGTPP.  Use your imaginations.
     You might know of Ol' Al as the author of one of sci-fi's most famous and influential novels ever, "The Stars My Destination" a.k.a. "Tiger! Tiger!", which is a corking read, and which will, one day, get made as a film**.

Possibly one of the best cover designs ever.

Ergonomics And Hydraulics
Don't worry, this isn't going to be a wittering about torque and brake-horsepower nor how many atmospheres the fluid is at or the bonuses of having a reciprocating cam on a worm-gear.
     No, instead we are back to mucking about inside a Sherman tank, in the company of James Holland and Adrian (the tank's owner), at the Chalke Valley History festival, as painted in word-pictures on the podcast We Have Ways Of Making You Talk.  What's that?  You'd rather have the worm-gear?  SIT BACK DOWN!
     Art!  Quick, before they work out an escape route -

The interior of a Sherman turret

     The loader, gunner and commander all had to fit into that space you see above, so it was a bit cramped, though it's quite roomy by the standards of other tanks.  This relative comfort compared to the starkness of, say, a T34, meant a Sherman crew suffered less from fatigue, which is important, since tired tank crews end up making mistakes.
     Then there's the hydraulic bit - Art?

There you go***.

     Unlike any other tank of the Second Unpleasantness, the Sherman had a gyro-stabilizer, which worked in the vertical plane.  If this was engaged the gun would remain in battery whilst the tank moved around and across the battlefield, meaning you could fire with a fair degree of accuracy from the move.  Adrian said it was more commonly used to lay the gun on a target, drive to a new position and then be able to fire immediately on coming to a halt.  The reason this is relevant is because winning a tank-on-tank encounter frequently came down to who fired first.
     Don't worry, Conrad can squeeze plenty more out of this topic, O Yes Indeed!

Squeal, lemon, squeal!

     Enough of TANK for one day, let us now proceed to some definitions.

"Decimate"
Conrad, who as you know is an annoyingly literal pedant of the very best/worst/vaguely-tolerated (delete where applicable) kind, has decided to take a stance against the sloppy usage of this term.
     What follows is a bit gruesome, so you may want to go fortify yourself with a schooner of sweet sherry.
     Okay, 'Decimation' was brought in as a punishment in the Roman army for units that committed mutiny, desertion, cowardice or passing the port on the left-hand side.  The unit thus selected was divided into groups of ten soldiers, who would draw straws.  Nine would be long straws, one a short straw, and the luckless soldier who possessed the short straw was promptly set upon and beaten to death.
     Thus, "Decimation", from having one-tenth of a unit executed and the Latin for "Ten".

     What Your Humble Scribe objects to is the free and loose usage of the term in modern language, when it is plainly inaccurate.
     THIS WILL NOT DO!
     When I take over this flabby mis-use will cease prettttty smartly.  O yes.

     There we go, time to potter about in the kitchen a little.  Be seeing you!


* Although there is that man with the big blue box ...
**  Hello, Netflix?
***  I hope you appreciate this picture, it took ages to find a Westinghouse gyro-stablizer.