See Italy And Die

NOT, I Hasten To Add, Today
Although there was something about 'Death In Venice', from some pseudy author, wasn't there?
     For Lo!  We are back to the history of the 23rd Division in the fair land of Italy during the First Unpleasantness, at the fag end of same conflict.  Our lads from Yorkshire and Tyneside had been moved from the Asiago Plateau, down onto the level alluvial plains that ran to the Mediterranean's joyously sparkling waters -

"Conrad realised he was getting a bit pseudy himself"

     Er yes.  They took part in the battle of Vittorio Veneto, where the Italian army hit the Austro-Hungarian one so hard that it fell both back and apart.  One can lose a bit of focus here, as the majority of the fighting on the Italian front was done by Italians, though Perfidious Albion and the M8s do make sterling contributions.
     Anyway, one of the problems the 23rd had in advancing was getting across the Piave River, which was in flood at the time.  They were helped by the splendid work of the Italian Pontieri - bridging and boating specialists - who worked non-stop to ferry whole infantry battalions by boat across the raging river.  Pontoon bridges then had to be constructed to allow transport, artillery, medical services and all the tail of a modern army to cross this river obstacle.  Art?

Watery fun

     I mention this because it demonstrates how difficult it can be to move an entire army across a river obstacle, and because the Austro-Hungarians may well have believed that, if they only fell back across one of the numerous rivers in that region, they would have a respite to recoup and recover.
     Alas no!
     This next bit is rather gruesome, so the wimpy and queasy may want to look away.
     For, as one of the quoted eyewitnesses states, Allied aircraft had caught the retreating AH columns on the road to Pardenone, and wrought bloody execution there.  Art?

Actually not that bad

     

Quite bad

There may not be any great photographic evidence, for eyewitnesses described a trail of carnage left by air attack upon the hapless Hapsburg armies who fled, and censors of the time would have been very dubious about allowing same to be published,  under the giant flying mallets of the Allies.  This is oddly contemporary with a similar aerial assault on the Turks at Meggido - Art?

The wreckage

     One must remember that tactical attack from the air i 1918  was utterly novel, and to those AH troops - whose morale was not very good at this moment in time - getting a brassing from Allied aircraft will do wonders in speeding retrograde movement.  Especially since they were expecting a breather, now that they'd gotten a river obstacle or two behind them.
     I think we may come back to this subject, it has legs.  Bowed, taloned and hairy, but still legs.
     Right, motters, take the wishbone, pull and make a wish!

More Of Matters Martial
This will be of interest only to those who retain Conrad's (childish) interest in TANK, so you may want to move on to something with merrily gambolling lambs and pretty flowers, which I'm afraid you won't find here - the lambs had strayed onto an artillery firing range, you see ...
     Last week I went on about the Crusader anti-aircraft tanks as used by a pocket of Poles at the Falaise Pocket battle, and how they turned the tide in what has to be the nick of the nick of time, by shooting flat an SS battalion about to overwhelm the Polish infantry.  Real edge-of-the-seat stuff.  Art?

IN ALL IT'S TANKY GLORY

     The reason these things were so deadly in ground combat is that those two anti-aircraft cannon spit High Explosive Incendiary rounds at a rate of about 7 rounds per second.  Given how devastating they are, I thought there'd be more examples of them in combat bar that Polish one, but no.  I cannot find any other instances.  Once reason is their reason, or raison d'etre: dealing with enemy aircraft stooging around the battlefield.  The Luftwaffe at this date were distinctly unable to stooge, dawdle or otherwise loiter around the battlefields as they would have immediately been shot down by the thousands and thousands and thousands of Allied fighters.      We may come back to this -

The Flying Mallets descend

     - but in the meantime let us move onto less military themes.  Enough of the dark and depressing!

Raw Talent
Another Cryptic Crossword rant.  The clue was "Money-making facility (6)" which is of course intended to throw you off the scent and come up with things like "MINT" or "EXCHEQUER" or even "THE OLD LADY OF THREADNEEDLE STREET"*.
     Now, because I am awesomely good at Cryptic crosswords, not to mention widely read in the classics, I knew the answer.  Would you?  WOULD YOU, REALLY?!      Art?

Something like

     You see, quite apart from being a description of innate skill, a "talent" was also a measure of wealth and monetary value, being a pretty substantial bar of gold or silver.  I know this from my Herodotus and Thucydides, which are hardly volumes to be found on every bookshelf**.  For day to day purposes the talent was rather unwieldy, and people on the streets of Thebes or Athens took and made payment in Drachmae.
     There you go, I bet you are now two or three facts better off than you were five minutes ago.
    

Conrad, Truly A Horrible Person
As if we needed further proof!  It may have escaped your notice, but the ballfoot season has begun again, and I have been sadly disappointed.  The BBC, you see, has not had any Have Your Say pages on it's sports pages -
     - until now!
     They had a long, dull article about how a particular ballfoot exponent called " the Naymar" did not move from an entity called "PSG" to Barca.

Colour Conrad confused

     O Goodness me!  What a baying of hounds that set up - with a couple of lonely exceptions, the ballfoot fans gathered around to hurl abuse at The Naymar, whom they dubbed a "dirty, diving, cheating, money-grubbing mercenary narcissist", and they castigated the BBC equally for putting up a non-story about an event that didn't happen.
     It ought to be added that PSG ("Pacific Swamp Gas"?) had paid £200 million for The Naymar, so they might not have wanted him to leave them until they had squeezed the last penny out of him.  I think I'm right in stating that on top of that £200 million they would have paid at least £20 million in fees to The Naymar's agent.  Who happens to be his dad -

Myanmar.  Close enough.

     And with that we are done!


*  The Bank Of England, just so we're clear.
**  Though they damn well ought to be!