Hatchet The Berry

Ha
I bet that threw you.  For Lo! we like to bust chops here at BOOJUM! every so often, and thus prevent you from falling into patterns of predictability, because that's the way they get you.  Build some spontaneity into your lifestyle, gentle readers, or the FSB will have it easy when they come to abduct invite you with guns.
     Anyway, let me tell you, CONRAD IS ANGRY!
     I realise this is my default state and it's pretty difficult to distinguish normal from Frothing Nitric Ire, so allow me to expand and expound.

Conrad, pretty obviously in the grip of strong emotions

     Last night some mewling idiot of a Stagecoach bus driver managed to drive his chariot, at speed, into the rear of another bus, thus rendering his Transport Ineffective.  He did this at the junction of Church Street and Oldham Street, two of the busiest thoroughfares in the city of Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell.  Art?

Just about here

     This resulted in both roads being shut in all four directions, traffic being diverted and buses picking people up from random locations.  The (single decker!) 182 was already standing-room only when I reached it, and a journey of an hour's duration stood up did not appeal, so I waited for the 181.
     What's that?  Yes I did take photographs and even loaded them up on my laptop, and that's where the second cause of my anger comes in.  Art?

WINDOWS!

     The Dog Buns OS decided that, out of the goodness of it's shrivelled little chest pump, it would Update my laptop, whether I wanted this bounty or not.  Thus, when I came back to type up my words of wit, wisdom and wonder, I found that - what do you mean, "What words of wit, wisdom and wonder"?  BOOJUM! of course, you bumbletuck!
     Where was I?
     O yes - thus I had to leave today's blog with a mere two lines added, and because I'm typing this at work, I cannot add in any of the photographs I took.  So, lest there be any doubt - CONRAD IS ANGRY!

Just look at that anger

     The update was still running this morning, after which completion Your Humble Scribe had to battle his way across a whole load of admin waffle about functions I don't need and didn't want, and which made me almost late for the bus.
     Corks! I realised.  I'd forgotten to get a new e-ticket last night, and here's the bus arriving right now -
     I did have a couple of single-journey e-tickets left, and what do you know, I was able to use mine twice, 20 seconds before it expired.  Ha!  Take that, First Bus!  Of course, being at work, I cannot get the First Bus app to load up the menu that allows me to purchase a new e-ticket, so perhaps they're getting their own back.
     O well.
     I think we'll state that this is the end of the Intro, and move on after I have lapped up a bowl of gin and petrol*.

Heavenly!

Back To The Beginning
By way of a long detour, and if you don't like us doing that then THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY.  Besides, keeping you mentally trim and agile is a good thing.
     Okay, that font of all that's fit to be writ, the BBC website, had an article on UK place names that are difficult to pronounce properly, which is something that we here in the Allotment of Eden are justifiably proud of.  I may not be able to locate it again, but here goes -

1. Frome, Somerset, England
2. Ballachulish, Highland, Scotland
3. Godmanchester, Cambridgeshire, England
4. Omagh, County Tyrone, Northern Ireland
5. Woolfardisworthy, Devon, England
6. Beaulieu, Hampshire, England
7. Bicester, Oxfordshire, England
8. Ynysybwl, Cwm Clydach, RCT, Wales
9. Rampisham, Dorset, England
10. Quernmore, Lancashire, England

     I shall leave that in Times just to emphasise this has been loaded in from the Beeb.

Frome

     This is Frome, Somerset, which is pronounced "Froom", somewhat confusingly.  This means that strangers immediately stand out and can then be quickly trussed up and thrown into the burning wicker man welcomed with open hands.
     I'm not going to tell you what the other pronunciations are, because I'm horrid that way.  Expect more of this in future, as I prolong it as long as possible.

More Frome

And Now For Something Very Very Different
Conrad is back to listening to "We Have Ways Of Making You Talk", that very entertaining podcast from James Holland and Al Murray, about all things to do with the Second Unpleasantness. 
     Look, I can't post a photograph of my book purchases, so you're going to have to put up with this instead, okay?  It is to do with books, so we're halfway there.  And, once again, whose blog is it?
     Our champions, as ever, begin by reading out e-mails they have received, and one pertinently asked if they had any recommended summer reads**?
     Al jumped in first and recommended "The Cauldron", by a lad who called himself "Zeno".  It's a fictionalised account of the Pathfinders at Arnhem, which I vaguely recall reading myself many years ago, and some bits of it stick with me, so it definitely had something going for it.  Art?

I think this was my edition

       The next one they mentioned is "First Light" by Geoffrey Wellum, which I definitely have got and read, although I cannot isolate this from a couple of other Spitfire pilot's memoirs that I read at the same time.  Is this the one where he has a car crash and is badly injured?

I definitely have this

     I could prolong this indefinitely as per the placenames, and shall, so I'm going to wrap this up here.  But we shall be back!

Finally -
Did I mention that I was ANGRY!?  Because I am.  Nothing to do with transport or e-tickets or crashing buses and having to guess where the buses are stopping as a result - where was I?  Oh yes, ANGRY.
     It's the Cryptic Crossword again.  "Desecrate the burial place of a German noble (8)"
     Now, I got it because I'm clever and good at crosswords, but what chance do you or the other people have?

This is one***

*  I haven't forgotten the motley, it's asleep on the couch and I didn't want to disturb it.
**  Yes, you do need a summer first.  Take it as given.
***  "MARGRAVE".  There, saved you some anxiety.