Massive Attack

NO!  This Is Nothing To Do With The Band
Although I do have one of their albums lying around somewhere - "Blue Lines" I think, it's been a while.  I did have a pirate version of it at one time, which I didn't realise was a pirate version, and when I did it went in the bin <adopts proud pose of holding the high ground, spoilt only by the smears of spilled tea on his shirt*>.

Yep, that's the one.
(That this item has nothing to do with)

     Anyway, I have just finished watching "Avengers: Endgame" and it struck me that in this film and the previous one - "Infinity War" - you get what some poet <hacks and spits> described as "ignorant armies" that "clash by night".  That's quite appropriate for the second one as the atmosphere is generally one of doom and gloom, though in the earlier it's all done in broad daylight.  Art?

The enemy attacks

     That's the enemy hordes on the go.  Note how they just rush at Our Heroes in a giant mob.  Art?

Ahem.

     You may notice a similarity in tactics.  Or, rather, a lack of them.  Rush At Them In A Mob, I'm pretty sure, went out of style about 500 B.C.  What happened to keeping them at bay with small arms whilst the heavy stuff in the rear kills them in large numbers?  Canalising an attack using terrain?  Attacking from the flanks?  Tanks?  Picking off the officers and leaders?  Heck, even a ditch lined with pointy sticks would help Our Heroes here.
     But no.  They have to show how tough they are by getting up close and personal <sighs>  Hollywood - must do better.  I am available as a technical consultant for your next MCU treatment, if you can afford my £75,000 fee.

No spoilers here!

     Now, motley, shall we binge-watch all three The Thing films, or would you rather watch all three Back to the Future films?  Whichever, I've got the popcorn here.


     Ah.  My new dehumidifier is beeping at me, which means it has now collected about a gallon of water.  On this model the overflow prevention stopcock is a little more sophisticated than the previous one's frankly crude bucket-on-a-lever, so we no longer have to fear paddling in water one morning.  Why do I need a DH (as I call it) in my room going 24/7?  Art!

Some of my collections

     These, ladies and gentlemen and those unsure.  This is from a good while ago, before I acquired a lot of "Naval Operations" original volumes, but in that photo there you're looking at about £1,000 worth of books.  Keeping down the moisture and not exposing them to a lot of daylight means they stay in good nick; I have found mould growing on one or two pre-DH.

Back To Rapunzel
O yes indeedy, Ally Sheedy.  We left Rap in her tower prison, where Witchie-poo abseiled up the tower side thanks to Rap's braided hair.
     Inevitably a handsome prince came wandering through the forest, and he happened to hear Rap singing, which he was rather taken with.  He kept hanging around in the hopes of seeing or speaking to her, until he witnessed old Witchie-poo calling out "Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair" and then climbing up.  

Thus

     Ah yes, more illogical drivel.  How does Rap manage to clean this incredible mass of hair, because this story surely dates from before hot and cold plumbed water?  If she doesn't clean it then it will become extremely greasy, and Witchie-poo ain't going to get very high before she falls on her bottom.  If she does wash and clean it, then merely applying an excess of conditioner half-way up would cause Witchie-poo to exit this mortal coil pretty rapidly thanks to slippage.  But no.
     Once Rap was alone again, Handsome Prince made the call himself and ascended the tower wall.  He and Rap hit it off famously immediately, and they made a cunning plan: Princey would bring some silk with him each visit, and Rap would fashion it into a ladder and then she could escape and be free.

Rapunzel: defining the Dumb Blonde

     Here's a better idea: Princey goes home, has his palace servants construct a silk ladder, brings it back the next day and Bam!  They're gone.  Or - this is dangerously sophisticated thinking, you'd better sit down before reading it - Rap cuts off her hair, ties it to the bedstead and climbs down it herself.  But no.
     I think I see your brains glazing over, so we shall move swiftly along; though I warn you, we're not done with Rapunzel yet**.

"Jetsam"
Another crossword answer.  Don't worry, I'm not going to vent my Frothing Nitric Ire about the clue, as I got it pretty quickly thanks to being so clever at Cryptic Crosswords.  I wonder how many of you would have gotten it? <adopts boastful stance spoiled only by wearing mis-matched socks).  Art?

Perhaps jetsam

     The word is defined in my Collins Concise*** as cargo thrown overboard from a ship in order to lighten it, that it may survive peril at sea.  It is a corruption of "Jettison".  I can't find any appropriate pictures via Google, since if the jetsam ploy doesn't work, there's no ship left.  If it does, then the surviving vessel is many, many miles away from the dumping grounds, and they're hardly likely to go back into the hurricane just to persuade your skeptical selves.

"We've just survived - NOW LET'S HEAD BACK INTO IT!"
I think not.

Finally -
SPOILERS AHEAD!  SPOILERS AHEAD!  SPOILERS AHEAD! SPOILERS AHEAD! SPOILERS AHEAD!


     Okay, so, "Deadpool 2", which is just as hilariously potty-mouthed and darkly humoured as the first.  You already know that Deadpool gets torn in two by Juggernaut, right?  And we later see his top half growing baby legs that take ages to grow into the correct size, agreed?
     What about his discarded legs!?  What's to stop a second Deadpool growing from the severed legs, hmmmm?  This might be the setup for Deadpool 3 - and I shall leave you thinking about punnery associated with such a title.
     As ever, I am available for £76,000 if the studios want a treatment.

Disturbing on so many levels.  I mean - that shirt!

*  Though this time his flies are securely fastened.
**  I don't know about you, but I'm enjoying this deconstruction immensely.  And since I'm the author here, that's what matters.
***  Yes, this is getting a lot of mentions this weekend and no, I don't get a commission.