A Bit Of A Bang

Actually A Lot Of A Bang
You know we British, we like to understate whenever possible.
     If you have any degree of recall, then you will remember that Your Humble Scribe is reading "The Guns Of War" by George Blackburn (we know where his ancestors came from!), about a Canadian artillery regiment in the 2nd Canadian Division, beginning several days after D-Day.  He warns folk in the Introduction not to expect adventure, because he anticipates some ferociously intense fighting against the best the Teutons had, and the word he uses in the text is "brutish".

Canuckistanians about to spoil someone's day in a major way

     At one point he describes the artillery preparations in support of Operation Goodwood, an enormous armour-heavy attack out of the Orne bridgehead, which was only partly successful.  Ol' Geo mentions the artillery units involved: fifteen regiments of field artillery (25 pounder guns), twelve regiments of mediums (5.5" guns firing an 80 or 100 pound shell); three heavy regiments (7.2" guns firing a 200 pound shell) and three regiments of heavy anti-aircraft guns (I think these will be the 3.7" firing a 28 pound shell, possibly with a proximity fuse).

A 7.2 inch howitzer
(Spike Milligan crewed one of these)

     That's an awful lot of guns.  In fact, although not every regiment would be fully up to strength with guns out of action for maintenance or repairs, at 24 guns per regiment that's nearly 800 guns.  Art?

     This is a shot near the beginning of "A Bridge Too Far", and the only film I have seen that recreates an British (and Commonwealth) artillery barrage with any degree of realism.  It's called a "creeping" barrage because it moves forward at a set pace, allowing the armies of Perfidious Albion to advance behind it, and it's the kind of thing that Ol' Geo and his gunner pals would be firing, though they'd have added airburst shrapnel as well.  It is terrifying to watch, and much much worse to be under, and it typifies what Ol' Geo warned about in his Introduction.
     My, that was grim!  Let us now move onto something radically different in tone and content - 

Vietnamese Cooking
It being Degsy's birthday, the clan all assembled in Northenden, for a meal at Mi & Pho, which describes itself as a cafe, though a restaurant would be nearer the truth.  Oh, I paid for the meal by force of will, though still with money, as I am now a permanent employee at the Dark Tower and I'd forgotten to get Degsy anything.
     Moving swiftly on to avoid conscience pangs, I shall show you the interior.  Art?

     There is a small room in the back.  As you can see, it's not large and it's best to book ahead or you are likely to be disappointed.  Bring on the shots of starters!

     There you see Salt And Pepper Ribs, which Degsy always gets, Salt And Pepper Chicken, which Darling Daughter always gets, and Tom's Veggie Spring Rolls with tamarind dipping sauce.  Next!

     Salt and Pepper Prawns, times two.  I even had some Mam Nuoc (fish sauce) on mine, just so I could say I did.  Very, very fishy.  Next!

     That's Degsy with Pork Belly and Rice, DD and Tom with Special Noodles with Beef, and me with Bun Sai Gon with Duck and that's Wonder Wifey with the same, except chicken.

     The remains.  Just to be clear, I've finished mine and Tom's, as he couldn't end it (lightweight!) and wasn't taking the remains home for tomorrow's breakfast, as DD did.
     I don't think any of us are going to be interested in tea, not until 22:30 at the very earliest.  Conrad even did his constitutional into Royton in order to help his digestion, which has helped a little.

Hello Moscow!
Now, I was going to carry on here with a little gentle mockery directed at the Ruffians and their aged aircraft carrier, Admiral Kuznetsov, but instead I have decided to sugar the pill and instead mention how brave and gallant the Sinister soldiers of the Brest-Litovsk garrison were back in the Second Unpleasantness.
     BL was where the Teutons of the First Unpleasantness had negotiated imposed swingeing peace terms on the Bolsheviks.  It was a strategic border fortress that the Teutons anticipated taking on the first day.

No, that is not water damage

     Despite the element of surprise, and an annihilating opening artillery barrage, the Teutons were still fighting against organised defenders on the 29th of June, and it took two bombing raids by the Luftwaffe on this last position to force it's surrender.  It wasn't a quick victory for the Teutons, nor was it cheap, and the General in charge had to explain what was what in an after-action report that showed how bloody-minded and stubborn the Sinister defenders had been*.
     After that, there is graffiti evidence that individual Sinister soldiers were still skulking around in tunnels and hidey-holes within the fortress, having to be hunted down with the last such individual being captured on the 23rd of July - a month after the assault began.  Again, these were soldiers with absolutely no hope of escape or survival, yet who continued to stay alive, just to annoy the Teutons.

CAUTION!  Russia is easy to get into, extraordinarily hard to get out of
(Napoleon discovered this, too)

     Also, vodka.  Another good thing to come out of Ruffia as it's the only spirit I like, and you can use it to clean metal.
     There you go, I think we've mended bridges with any readers who live on the other side of the Bug River**.  Of course, said bridges may get blown up or knocked down tomorrow ...

Finally -
Okay, I am now 21 minutes into "Redcon-1" the recent zombie movie, and they are making a couple of mistakes from Your Humble Scribe's point of view.
     I presume in this alternative universe nobody has ever heard of either zombies nor "Night Of The Living Dead"?  Because they are walking into a block of flats with very little room to manoeuvre, and are currently getting rather swamped.  Very nice stunt work with knives, axes and sledgehammers, though.  Oh, and having your whole itinerary on a single tablet?  Not very clever, chaps.  Still, I suppose from tension comes drama.

Nor do you have infinite ammo

*  At this point, we are cheering the Ruffians.
**  Pronounced more like "Book" than "Bug"