Conrad Is Excited!

Not, Of Course, For Any Healthy, Wholesome Reason
If you recall recent blog posts, then you recall that some witless bafoon decided, way back in August, that he was going to create a killer post on Facebook, in which he would incite and inveigle readers, his final intent to get them to assemble and storm the evil p/rison of -
     Area 51.

CAUTION!  Does not welcome any drivers, careful or otherwise

     The urban legend promulgated amongst the swivel-eyed loonwaffle (tinfoil hat optional) conspiranoids is that aliens are being held as prisoners at Area 51.  On absolutely no evidence.
     This liberation crusade is slated to take place on 20/09/2019, or tomorrow (as I am typing this up after Pub Quiz, Thursday evening), and Your Humble And Malicious Scribe is rubbing his hands and planning to lay in a supply of popcorn.
     "What do you anticipate happening, Humble Scribe?" I hear you query.
     Not a lot, frankly.  Art?

Note distinct lack of cover

     The first hurdle to those attempting The Storm is that most of them are doughy basement-dwellers whose daily exercise amounts to walking to the fridge and back.  They would need to travel across half South Canada to get within inter-state distance of Groom Dry Lake.  Once there, there's only a dirt track accessible to the public to get it.  There are armed guards who patrol and utilise ground sensors and infra-red cameras, and for tomorrow they'll probably make an exception and use drones.

Plus Really Hard Staring

     Since this is a live-fire training ground, a couple of F16s screaming overhead at thirty feet,  visibly bristling with bombs and missiles, might also cause all 20 Stormers who actually made it to require a change of underwear.      Dark tourism, eh?  I'll give you dark tourism!  How about an ATV tour to the site where 19 couch-potatoes all died of a heart attack, just outside the perimeter fence of a certain top-secret USAF base*?

Conrad is - horrid

     Okay, motley, we have a choice of five different flavoured teas, which would you like to try?  And you can even have milk and sugar <blenches> in them!
BOOJUM! Reviews Films
I've not done this for a while, and thus need to get it out of the way before another tranche are released and I get even further behind.
     Let us recapitulate: Conrad reviews films based on how he feels after getting out of bed, on their title alone, and that's that.  You don't like it?  Then THE EXIT DOOR IS THAT WAY!
     <ahem>
     If you want proper film reviews, then you are not only in the wrong tent and the wrong desert, you are on the wrong planet entirely.  Try Arrakis.  But tread softly**. "Rambo - Last Blood": Conrad is not entirely sure what the audience for this one is going to be.  "Last Blood" sounds rather sinister and worrying, to mine ears at least.  Rebooting a classic as a live action is one thing, making it sound like a battle with vampires is quite another, and I think parents should be cautious about this one.

Fearless vampire killer?

"Ad Astra": I have seen the cinema trailer for this one, so this is cheating a bit, but - once again, whose blog is it?  If I hadn't then I might well think that this was a slightly late film about Apollo 11, and that production delays had held back from a July release.
     Well, no such thing.  Instead we have a grizzled Brad Pitt looking rather stern, and a tagline that's supposed to be inspiring but which comes across as puzzling instead.  Art?

I don't care if the print's too small.
(I'm horrid like that)

     It looks more interesting from the trailer than the bus poster would imply, and since the trailer implies some spectacularly dangerous substance that redefines the very concept of "Explosive" I think Conrad will be watching this one at some point.
"Downton Abbey": I think that's the spelling and I don't care enough about it to bother either checking or changing <sniggers at his own wickedness, inhales a hair, coughs>.
     Essentially this film is an extension of "Upstairs, Downstairs" which was a big hit in the Seventies because you had upper class toffs and lower class roughs, which probably went down a storm in South Canada as they secretly miss being part of the Mighty British Empire, and they love all that nostalgic twiddle, the suckers.
     Plot summary: there are some toffs, and there are some toughs, and never the twain shall meet (socially) except one pair of star-crossed lovers do, and the King visits, the end.  There.  Now you don't need to go waste your money by watching it, and you're welcome.

Snobs and yobs!
(Close enough)

      Blimey, what an ill-tempered cove, as Lord Peter Wimsey might say, and be quite right about.
"Gravity's Rainbow":  Only joking!  Conrad can't ever see this being done as a film, not even an animated one, as it would be very expensive and the audience would be a bit speculative.  Not sure what the tagline would be, either - "NAZI ROCKET BOMB TERROR!  MASSED BANANAS! WATCH A MAN EATING SLIMEY ELMS!". But a man can dream.

      Typical.  I cannot find the BBC link to their article on Dark Tourism as of yesteryon.  All sorts of other guff about dark tourism that I don't want to read, thanks very much.
     I do remember this, however -

No, you are not seeing things.  Nor is it Photoshopped

      This is a failed holiday resort in Turkey, where, we learned at Pub Quiz last night, they wear violet when in mourning.  That colour scheme above is probably a very, very faded violet.

Finally -
NO, STEVE, YOU ARE WRONG!
    Steve is our Quizmaster at the Pub Quiz, and his question last night was "True or false - India launched a satellite into orbit in 1975"
     Conrad was pretty sure this was false, and that India has only recently acquired the ability to launch their own orbital kit, so I said FALSE.
     "TRUE", announced Steve.
     Well, actually, NO.  NO!
     Art?

The Aryabhata

     The satellite in question was indeed Indian, but was launched into orbit on a Sinister Interkosmos launch vehicle.
     So there.

     And with that, we are done!


*   The sole survivor?  Doing 15 years in a supermax.
**  A little "Dune" reference for you there.