Conrad: Still Excited But In A Different Way

No, Nothing To Do With Area 51
At least, not yet - because we will get round to it, don't you worry.  JENNY! - sorry, I'm trying to type this in the kitchen and Jenny (cyborg sentry cat) is desperately trying to prove how much she loves me, because - food.  I'm doing a pizza in the oven, which is where all her affection comes from.  Oh, and that's Edna (four-legged alarm system) whimpering outside the kitchen door to come in, because - food.  You may sense a theme here.
     Anyway, I'm excited because yesterday I got to pick up "Persepolis Rising", which is the penultimate novel in The Expanse series.  It's been out for an age in hardback, but Your Humble Scribe is a bit of a cheapass and waited until the paperback came out.  Art?

My edition

     Typically, because I have little to no self-control, I only meant to pick it up and read a few pages, and already two hours have passed.  I shan't spoil it for anyone yet to read, and shall only say that it's set nearly thirty years after the last novel in the series.
     Because that was a rather short item, let me tell you about the excitement of yesterday afternoon in the office SIT BACK DOWN! because it was interesting.
     Okay, as you ought to know by now if you've been paying attention, Conrad works at the top of the Dark Tower, which, if Art will put down his bowl of coal -

The Dark Tower in a lighter moment

     As everyone is toiling away, abruptly at 13:50 the ceiling lights go out and everyone's monitor dies, as all power in the Dark Tower fails.  We have to stay on the phones to dash the hopes and dreams of any callers, until the phones, too, expire at 14:25, which was in the middle of a conversation I was having with a rather pushy customer who wouldn't accept that no IT meant problems answering all but the most basic queries.  Everybody on Floor 17 has to leave by 15:15, as the lifts are being turned off by 15:30 and 34 flights of stairs is a trek.

No! Art - but we'll leave it up

     The staff are all delighted at this unexpectdly early finish, of course, the management rather less so - that's four hours of input gone, and we're going to miss deadlines because of it.  It's not even certain that the power will be back up for the people working Saturday.  Personally, I worry about my Lurpack in the Kitchen B fridge.  Have to remember to get another pack on Monday - whatever time I'm supposed to start, since I'd not gotten around to checking my schedule before it went dark.  Go in early and hope for the best, I imagine!
     Right, motley, I've got my mushroom field identification guide, let's go pick some!

CAUTION! RED = DEAD.  DO NOT PICK!

The Vagaries Of Vapour
There is considerable irony in the fact that it is September, shading into late September at that, and yet we are having gloriously hot sunny weather that beats our so-called "Summer" into a cocked hat.  Art?

The view from my window

     I put this up as evidence, since one can see all the way to the horizon, not a feat commonly achieved in "Summer" when your vista was instead solid grey, thanks to the vapour in the air, which is another way of saying it rained frequently.  By 15:00 I have to pull the blinds down or the sun begins to cook me (one of the problems of having icewater for blood), and on Friday afternoon, with no air-conditioning, it got both hot and stuffy, which is still an inconvenience I can put up with.
     British weather.  Bah!

Okay, NOW Area 51
Heh.  What did Your Cynical Yet Realistic Scribe predict about those attending the "Storm Area 51"?  That I'd be surprised if as many as 200 turned up - and I gave a long list of reasons why.  I shall re-enumerate them:
1)  Groom Dry Lake and Nellis Air Force Base (official title) are an awful long way from anywhere.
2)  There are very few roads leading there.
3)  There are very few access points.
4)  The perimeter is fenced, signed, monitored by cameras and ground sensors.
5)  There are armed guards who have shot to kill in the past.

Confusing Vulcan with Grey - tut!  Just not done!

     As reported by the BBC, only 75 people turned up at the main entrance and then - sort of hung around.  No storming.  Oh, I might have added a point 6) The assertion "We can run faster than their bullets" is patently and obviously untrue.
     If you look closely at the second Camo Guy from port, he seems to almost be cracking a smile.
     Oh, a little number-crunching for those out there who like statistics.  I shall say that 3,000,000 expressed an interest in taking part, but of those only 0.0025% actually did take part, which is a bit depressing for any of the swivel-eyed loonwaffle conspiranoid brigade.  After all, it's rather dispiriting being a Warrior For Truth And Justice when most of the people in your movement refuse to budge from their comfy parent's basement.

From cocked to tinfoil hat, and a hat for the cat, at that.

     One wonders what excuses the 99.9975% who didn't turn up will come out with?  "The Eeeevil Gubmint done used mind control rays from the plug sockets to make me oversleep and Dad took the car," perhaps.

Finally -
We are almost at the Compositional Ton, so I have to come up with something short yet compelling.  How about this - 

Those are some big dudes

     There is a Rugby World Cup taking place at present, and - surprise surprise, the Ruffians play rugby.  Conrad is surprised Tsar Putin allows this, because it originates in Perfidious Albion.  Though he's probably told a couple of propaganda ministries to prove it was in fact invented in Ruffia during the fifteenth century.
     Anyway, that picture above is of Japan - again, who knew they played rugby? - beating the Ruffians.  This will, inevitably, bring up the Russo-Japanese War - but that's a topic for another day.

   And with that, we are done!