If I Said "B.F.F." -

I'm Pretty Sure I Know What You'd Think
Even though, yes, I have finally returned DARPA's prototype Telepathy Helmet to them; I know they hadn't actually allowed me to 'indefinitely borrow' it, and in fact took the rather old-fashioned view that it had been 'stolen', so they should be happy now.

The big squeaky babies

     So, you were thinking Conrad was referring to that horrid South Canadian contracted abbreviation of "Best Friend Forever", weren't you?
     Wrong!
     You'll never guess what it does mean, so I'm going to do the decent thing and tell you.
     "Bolton Film Festival"
     There, three words you probably never expected to see together.  Art?

Bolton's Octagon Theatre
(It's octagonal on the inside)

     If you've ever heard of Bolton before, it's probably about their ballfoot club, which did something recently, can't remember what and don't care enough to check.  It has a reputation as being another post-industrial Northern town, similar to Blackburn as we mentioned yesterday.
     Your Humble Scribe came across some publicity about it on-line and went to check on it.  It takes place in early October, and will be showing over a hundred short films in all genres, as well as having workshops and presentations and screenwriting seminars and all the things that aspiring film-makers like to indulge in.

Go Bolton!

     However, I can't make it as the thing starts at 11:00 on each of it's three days, and there's no way for me to book leave at such short notice.  I am forewarned for 2020, though.
     Oh, I should point out that their website somewhat gloatingly announces that BFF is one of the top 200 film festivals.  If you don't think that's very impressive, there are more than 3,000 globally, so they're up in the top 6.6%.
     Right, motley, would you like some strawberries to go with your Darjeeling?

No, Art, it's spelled "Boulton" Paul Defiant.  Shall I charge up the Tazer?

You What?
A title I use when confronted with something alarming or dangerous or both.  I am referring, once again, to the prices being asked - nay, demanded - for that Hap and Leonard novella "Hyenas".  I notice that it hasn't come out in paperback, despite being several years old now; maybe the publisher could put two of these wretched novella-formats together for paperback publication?

A more appropriate species of animal

     I see that Amazon has new copies going for the kingly sum of £271, and second-hand ones - bear that in mind, please, SECOND HAND, for only £70.  Again, are these rare and special limited editions, signed by the author?  And will they also make you a pot of tea and bring you your slippers for that price?
     Bah!

"The Guns Of War" By George Blackburn
Just to refresh your memory, this is a memoir written by a Canadian gunnery officer in an artillery regiment during the Second Unpleasantness, from not long after D-Day onwards.
     Yes, Vulnavia, the British Americans did indeed fight in that particular Unpleasantness, lots of 'em, and they're probably justifiably cross that nobody remembers.

Some of us do, James, some of us do.

     George's first time under fire in the front lines was at a place called Eterville, and the Canadian company he was attached to as FOO was under continual mortar fire*.  Everybody was hidden in slit trenches and dugouts and a captured Teuton bunker, for to be above ground when a bombardment started was asking to be ventilated by lots of high-speed metal.     

Not a nice place, at all.

     One of the company's officers decided to come back to the dug-in company up a road in plain view of any Teuton observers, and Oh my! was he observed.  A train of mortar bombs followed him up the road until he got into cover.  He then immediately crossed over to George and in no uncertain terms told him that a derelict British tank, knocked out and static on the hill beyond the road he travelled, was where the Teutons had their mortar observer.  George thought he was somewhat bomb-happy but, impelled by a fiery stare, got out of cover and stood in road to observe said tank.  The Major had asked for a "Victor" fireplan on the target - 216 guns - and George had to gently let him down.  Carefully calculating distance, he called in one round from his gunners in the rear.

Situated somewhat like this

     The first shell landed near the suspect tank, close enough for George to call in five more, which hit it and around it.  Just to give the watching Canadian soldiers a bit of a boost, he then called in another forty shells, to much hooting and hollering.
     There was no more mortar fire.  Which is not entirely surprising.

Let us now move onto lighter, frothier matters, such as LITHIUM WAFER BAT - ah, perhaps not that.

Thank You, Jason
Jason, a colleague at work, put up a link yesteryon on Facebook featuring a link to a band called Slowdive, whom I'd never heard of before (there is a reason for that).  The track was called "Star Roving" and I'd classify it as 'Dream-pop' rather in the vein of Spiritualised.  Which is to say, I liked it.  I may be able to provide a link -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogCih4OavoY

     The reason I'd not heard of them is because they broke up in 1995 and only reformed a couple of years ago, the track above being one of their new songs.

22 years between albums.  Is that a record?**

     The next time I'm in Fopp ...

Finally -
This takes us through the 1,000 word barrier, so I don't really have to add anything else in here, though I will as I like to give value for money.  Yes yes yes, I know you don't pay to read this - consider it metaphorical fivers.
     Erm <thinks> So - The Mysterons and the Ice Warriors - why does nobody ever call them Martians?   Hmmmm!



*  The 14th Field regiment across the way from George had, as one of it's officers, that chap in the photo above.  Small world.
**  Do you see what - O you do.