Over Here, Muse

Right On The Head
Once again we begin the day with a blank sheet of paper, because one again Your Humble Scribe failed to write anything down last night, and as a result now feels terribly guilty.
     Okay, that's the guilt expunged, now let's move on.  At least we don't have an enigmatic title to guess at.
     DON'T FORGET - SHARKS ARE OUR FRIENDS!
     I just thought I'd get that one in, since I've not flown the banner for Carcharodon Carcharis in ages.

Our finny friend is feeling fine

     Yesterday, having underset my alarm, today finds me oversetting it, and realising that, no, 05:25 is not a time I wish to make the acquaintance of.  I did leave The Mansion in time to catch the 06:01 service into Oldham Bus Station, which is a peculiarly unattractive place on a dark wet autumn morning.  I didn't take a photo but let's see if anyone else did -

Just add rain for extra ambience

     Getting an earlier bus into Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell was a waste of time, there were sufficient passengers and traffic to render it's arrival in the sinful big city late enough that the bus I normally catch up lapped it en route.
     C'est la vie.
     Enough inane, witless burbling, on with the - what do you mean, how do you tell the difference!  On with the show, you cheeky pikers.

Further Dark Tourism
<don't mention Thomas Cook, don't mention Thomas Cook> Ah yes, Vulnavia, we continue to explore the darker side of human nature and it's thirst for entertainment, or at least diversion.
      How about a trip to Ground Zero, the 9/11 memorial in New York?  Art?

Very tasteful

     There is a museum that goes with it, but Conrad doesn't think he'd bother going there as he's already well up on 9/11 and what happened.  There is a risk if you go on an exact anniversary of the disaster, which we here in Sensible Dateland call 11/9, you will bump into one of that repellent crowd of conspiranoid bumbletucks who used to call themselves "Truthers".  They may still do so, except nobody's paying attention to them anymore.
     Here an aside.  Being sane and moderately sensible people, you are unlikely ever to have come across these swivel-eyed loons, who are more accurately dubbed "Twoofers" as they believed the most incredible woo.  Or drivel, as we here in Cruelly Accurateland like to call it.  Art?

     Of course, when they say "Investigate 9/11" what they mean is "Find only results that we like and agree with"; and they surely aren't going to pay for it themselves.  And when they say "inside job" they really mean "I hate George W. Bush so much that it has warped my sense of reality and common sense and I can now see the invisible purple ponies in the light-sockets that try to read my mind ".  Believe me, this is mild and sensitive compared to what I'd really like to say - but I won't let the poison sink into my soul*.  If you should bump into any of them, make sure the bump is an exceptionally brutal one.

For some reason this came up when I Googled "Loonwaffle"

     You would not believe the kind of utter guff these people used to pump out, and they all disagreed with each other about The Truth and what it was.  I may come back to this, as it's always amusing to mock the idiot.

Hmmmm.  Conrad Not Sure He Approves
Of course, there is very little that Conrad does approve of - loose-leaf Darjeeling tea, The Expanse and Cryptic Crosswords make up the bulk of the list - so I shall have to narrow the field a little.
     I refer to a film entitled "Recon-1", a recently released to DVD film (no hyphenation as that means a higher word count) that concerns Zombies.  Art?

Of course the hyphen in the title is important.
(Otherwise you get a diet supplement)

     In a blatant attempt to curry favour across the Atlantic, the cast includes several South Canadians who have no real reason to be there, except to entice their fellow countrymen into the pictures or shop.  That's really the first flag for Hmmmm (a non-committal noise that can be interpreted many different ways).
     Then you have the officer leading the mission, to locate some dodgy scientist who might well be responsible for creating the zombie plague in the first place.

Brooding officer at front

     We are gleefully mournfully informed that his wife was one of the first to go zom, and we get a little flashback sequence showing same, caused by - but we won't go there.
     I wonder.  Mission leader, zombie wife - WHAT CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG HERE!?
     Second flag for Hmmmm.
     We are only about 15 minutes into it, and the first encounter with a zombie mass did not end with Our Heroes innards becoming playthings in the hands of the murderous meatbags, so there is room for improvement.  I shall keep you informed.

I think some scenes were shot in Rochdale

     I shall now eat lunch, as I'm typing this at work.  Just so you know. 

What's In A Name?
"Four letters!" I hear you respond, hilariously.  We'll have less of that, thank you - I make the jokes around here, and you are already on thin ice after that "Biffer" crack of yesteryon. 
     I was watching buses pass on my way to the bus stop yesterday afternoon, not because it's such an interesting entertainment, rather because I decide which films to review based on which posters pass by.  Art?

Yes, I KNOW it's not a film.  Credit me with some wits, still

     The advert for that company above struck my eye, and my imagination.  How ought it to be pronounced?  Because Conrad has always been of the opinion that if you make up a word, then I can decide how it's pronounced.  You're looking at it and seeing "Top Shop", aren't you?
     How do you know it's not pronounced "Toe P'shop"?   Hmmmm?  Or even "Tops Hop", which they might well do if there's a sale on them.  Perhaps, "Tee Opshop"?

Conrad basks in your rapturous applause.

          And with that, we are done!
 
*  It's there already!  <the horrid truth courtesy Mister Hand>