Whom Shall We Insult Today?

I Like To Spread It Around
Some nations disqualify themselves because they are automatically classed as low-hanging fruit: North Korea, for one, because in terms of satire you cannot fail to hit the gold.  Honestly, if you were an archer wielding a bow and arrow, blindfolded, and your missile of malicious mirth was sent off into the blue at random, you'd still hit the Nork gold (that's what archers call the middle of a target, never the "bullseye").  Norway's another, because they're so ruddy perfect.  Honestly, if the best you can do in satirising Norway is to harp on about "lutefisk", give it up before starting.
     There are other targets, however.  The M83'*s, for one.  I feel a clerihew coming on, annnny moment now.

President Pompidou

Sniffed glue.

I realise that this rather a shock.

It's because he couldn't get Blackpool rock.

     There you go!  Who's next?

Brendan Behan

Wasn't vegan.

I also believe he drank rather a lot.

So a teetotaller he was not.

     France, Ireland, let us now focus on - Denmark!
    Hmmm.  This might take a bit of thought.

Nils Bohr

Was responsible for

Lots of interesting atomic theories.

However, he was useless at home-baking queries.

     Before you ask, he was a famous Danish nuclear physicist, so you may next hear of me incarcerated in some sinister Copehagen fortress.

Sinister-era family saloon

     I'm including this here because i) I can and ii) Facebook may put it up as the default picture.  We'll see.
     Enough gimcrack nonsense - let the refurbished motley with it's 16-cylinder engine out onto the roads of the imagination!

Of Pub And Quiz
As I am on leave this week, I cannot regale my work colleagues with questions from the Pub Quiz of two weeks ago for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, I am not making an effort to go into the office merely to spend twenty minutes doing a question-and-answer session, regardless of how happy it makes them.  Secondly, I only have the answers, not the questions..
     Does this matter?  Yes, rather!  For example, "Chickens", "Barbara Streisand" and "12".  Those are the answers and I've 0% idea what the questions were.

If you shouted "Barbara" all twelve would look at you.
(Perhaps)

     Oh well.  I do have the questions and answers for last week's quiz, where Darling Daughter helped us to a win.  Thus -

Q10)  Which television detective's trademark was a lollipop?
Q3)   The Los Angeles Lakers play what sport? (Nothing to do with swimming)
Q14)  "Aqueous humour" and "Vitreous humour" are found in which part of the body?  (No!  Not the funny bone).

     If I feel merciful and - the key factor - remember, I may post the answers tomorrow.

Veronica Lake.  She probably lived in Los Angeles.

The Sinister Sounds Of Settling Seats
If you bothered reading the blog earlier this week, then you will know that this article has taken up residence in my Upstair Lair.

     As is clearly visible here, it is upholstered in leather, and very comfortable it is, too.
     The problems begin when vacating it of an evening, because after a sufficiently long interval for Conrad to hie him hence into the bed, the chair's leather starts to regain it's shape, meaning a lot of creaking and cracking.  Exactly as if something invisible were getting itself comfortable for a night-long scrutiny of your humble hack.
     Just thought you'd like to know!

"Captain America: Civil War"
Hmmm.  Conrad watched this yesterday and was not overly impressed.  There are two separate plot strands, one of which features an incredibly convoluted plot by one Zemo to gain revenge - or would that be avenged? - that makes no sense at all.  It's as if the scriptwriters learned their craft by analysing the game Moustrap.  

"Okay, Lesson One: everything has to be pointlessly complex -"

One supposes that we're also supposed to sympathise with Zemo during his soliloquy - sorry, Dramatic Rationale Soliloquy - forgetting the folks he slaughtered along the way.  Ah, what's a bit of collateral damage!
     Then there is the considerably more interesting thread about accountability.  If 50 people are killed whilst the Avengers battle the bad guys in a city centre, who is to blame?  Entirely the bad guys?  Shared culpability?  Mostly the Avengers?  Could they argue in their defence that there would have been at least 500 deaths if they hadn't intervened?  Then, if the Avengers had all signed up to a UN-sanctioned mandate, how would the UN approve an intervention?  How long would it take?  What might the death toll rise to before the Avengers get the "Go" signal?  (if they do).  

No, Art!

     Officially, then, the Avengers would be blameless, although they might have trouble squaring that with their consciences.  And, inevitably, they would get blamed by someone.  You humans are like that.
     Then again, if they don't sign up, and carry on being vigilantes, they're criminals.  Exactly as bad, in the eyes of law enforcement, as the villains they attempt to tackle.  So they'd be risking their freedom in addition to their lives, which would get a bit wearing after a bit.
     So they might give up after a while, if they're not already in jail - which would make a good start point for another film.  Just don't base the script on Kerplunk.

The Avengers heard there was free coffee and doughnuts going -

     Echoes of "Watchmen" and the Keene Act, eh?

Lest you forget

     Well, we have gone well over count, and yet I had so much more to blather on about.  Tomorrow.  I may be on leave but you're still only getting one post per day, and that's that.


*  BOOJUM! nickname for the French.  Because we're <ahem> 'mates'.