Mars Bluff

No, It's Not What You're Thinking
This is nothing to do with "Capricorn One", although Conrad does like the film.  If you are not familiar, then it is about a conspiracy concerning the first manned mission to Mars; things in the background have gone horribly wrong and necessitate a conspiracy to film it rather than carrying out the real thing.  Of course it's never that simple and matters unravel horrendously.  Conrad also dislikes the film as it, rather slyly, empowers the Apollo Hoax.
     Anyway, let us move on to the meat of the matter: Mars Bluff.  Art?

Mars Bluff, South Carolina, South Canada

     Mars Bluff was not really in danger of being wiped off the map, nor all the surrounding towns, because the pit was not present -

A pit

      - okay, "a" pit was present.  I think we'd better start at the beginning, because linear narrative is boring but understandable.
     Okay, in 1958 a Strategic Air Command B47 strategic bomber was all set for a flight to the Pond of Eden whilst carrying a Mark 6 nuclear bomb, business as usual, la-di-da.  There was a fault indicated in the bomb's locking pin, so a crew member was sent to see what the problem was; being of short stature he tried to haul himself up within the bomb bay to see what the problem was. 
     Unfortunately the piece of kit he tried to haul himself up by was the bomb's locking pin, which came loose.
     So did the bomb.
     Art?

Mark 6 with human for scale

     The weight of the bomb caused it to fall onto and through the bomb-bay doors, and to the ground below, which was Mars Bluff.  Oh, did I mention that these bombs were contact-fused?  When the bomb hit the ground it detonated.  Art?

The bomb and the Bluff

     That's the end result of several tons of TNT going off, because the "Pit", that is the fissile core of the bomb, had been removed prior to flight, so!  Look on the bright side, there was never any risk of Mars Bluff going up in a puff of smoke.  
     To date Mars Bluff is the only atomic bomb to have been dropped over South Canada, which is a record they probably don't want to get broken.

Counting Cornish
Ah, those lovable scamps Adam Buxton and Joe Cornish, eh?  Adam Buxton did an hilarious spoof of a Star Trek nerd feeling all homicidal at the cancellation of his favourite show*, herein the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3HL8XVMih8

     Please note the attention to detail and how everything looks naff and distinctly home-made.
     Joe Cornish himself went on to direct the very worthwhile sci-fi comedy thriller "Attack the Block", and I recommend you catch it if you haven't already.  It features John Boyegba as a convincing little chav.

 - but also a hero

     None of which, as ususal, has anything to do with what comes next.
     Conrad's occasional flirtation with that very interesting question "How many pirates were Cornish?" proves to be more complex than is apparent.
     As you may be aware, the Caribbean was a hotbed of pirate activity.  There are several films on the subject (the first is the only one worth bothering with), I believe.  This is down to geography: an enormous number of islands where seafaring miscreants** could hide themselves.  These very same miscreants, in the Carib milieu, would acquire, to some extent, the local creole.
     Here an aside.  I know this blog may sound at times like Sherlock himself - the "Elementary" version - and as far as your humble hack is concerned, this is very much a good thing.
     The matter of How Many Pirates Were Cornish is also skewed by demographics.  Thanks to the history of seafaring communities you would always have more sailors, and thus potential future pirates, from a port like Bristol than an inland town like Derby; or from Cornwall, with it's extensive coastline, than from landlocked West Sussex.

"I say, Jim lad, I am expressing consternation.  Are you?  You are?  Oooh Arrr!"

Hirsute And Dissolute
Having captured the embarassingly candid picture rendered below, Conrad tried to think what the word he was looking for began with and could only recall that the first letter was "D".  Art?

     She looks like the aftermath of a catnip party undergoing withdrawal symptoms.
     "Depraved?" "Depressed?" "Disintegrated?"
     "DISSOLUTE!"

* Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Just so we're clear.
**  Pirates.