Flight, Fright Or - Food Fight

Ah Yes, The Classical Human Responses To Stress
I believe there may be a third one in there as well, which we will politely dub "Fornicate" and then swiftly ignore.  I do so want to retain that SFW rating, you know.  
     Of course this has nothing to do with physiological changes in the endocrine system and everything to do with The Flop House.  You know, the bad movie podcast.  No!  I don't get paid for this, you know.  All out of the goodness of my fusion-powered pumping-unit, you know.  

The three peaches

     Anyway, less of me and back to TFH.  As you should surely know by now, Conrad finds this program hilarious and illuminating, and the trio of Flopsters always surprise with their erudition.  Pop culture of South Canada, you'd expect that as a default, yes, films, yes.  Greek mythology - wait, what?  Shakespeare - eh?
     Let us now move on to a film review they did recently, "Food Fight", a 2012 release budgeted at $65 million and with an impressive cast: Charlie Sheen, Eva Longoria, Christopher Lloyd, Ed Asner, Larry Miller.  The first problem is the quality of the animation, which is bad.  I mean as in primitive and clumsy and awkward.  Then there is the style, which appears to be "Attach camera to a wallaby on rum and coke after putting it in the tumble-drier for an hour".  All over the place.  It only scores 1.7 over at IMDB.

Exhibit One

     Here an aside.  Degsy did a bit of digging on the film and discovered it was actually made in 2003; then a lot of footage was stolen (they claimed).  The release had to be put back until they could obtain funding to fill in the gaps.  They shouldn't have bothered.
     The plot is that FF is set in a supermarket which becomes a town after all the human staff leave for the night, where all the icons representing foodstuffs - called "ikes" - also come to life.

The Christopher Lloyd character (I think, it was very confusing)

     To cut a long and incomprehensible story short, the sinister generic company Brand X is seeking to supplant all the branded products because it has drugs in theirs that addict consumers.  What, the FDA is blind and incompetent in this world?  Their evil plot, run by Eva Longoria, who lives in the Christopher Lloyd character's head (I think, it was all very confusing), is thwarted by Jewish hero Dex Dogtective, who is a parking violations inspector.  No, kidding, he's a detective (I think, it was all very confusing).  Brand X keep killing off Ikes, which made Elliot for one feel verrry uncomfortable, and is perhaps one reason they made the hero Jewish.  Anyway, truth and justice triumph after a big battle and lightning storm (I think, it was all very confusing) and Dex marries his girlfriend at a nice traditional Jewish wedding.

The evil generic corporate - no, hang on -

     I think Dan summed this farrago up best when saying that, if it had been bought as a present for kids, their response would have been "Can we go outside and play with sticks?"
     Yes, children, but only if you promise to beat the makers of this film with them!

Ha!  bet you can't unsee this

     Oh, I forgot.  The highlight of the whole miserable enterprise is Larry Miller voicing an elderly blind gay bat.  Larry brings a level of consummate performance that the makers were lucky to get.  Not sure what he was the Ike of, tho'

Wow.  I did actually have quite a bit more on this, but as I said I'm not getting paid and we have a world to conquer -

There is ALWAYS time to salute Larry Miller

Guadalcanal Diary By Richard Tregaskis
Another recently completed work.  I knew you wouldn't rest easy until you'd been informed where I'd gotten to with it.
     Richard flew out of Guadalcanal in September 1942, before the campaign to retake the island from the Japanese was complete; by then, however, the writing was on the wall for the opposition and Richard had endured the desperate early battles.
     He was also specially singled out by enemy snipers and machine-gun teams because of his stature - he stood six feet seven - and he didn't carry weapons, which meant he might have been an officer.  He wasn't, but a bullet doesn't make any such distinctions.

Richard looking lanky.  Yes, yes, I know the name is Cornish not - oh never mind

     Published in 1943, the book is still on the required reading list for USMC officer candidates, which says something for Richard's skill with the pen.

Quick!  I need to post a short article - ah yes.  Got it.

British Sang Froid
This, allow me to inform you, is the quality of being cool and reserved that comes oh-so-naturally to our island race.  None of that hot-blooded Mediterranean showing-off here, thank you.
     I am referring, of course, to the British classification for nuclear and thermonuclear warheads.  No!  They are not classed as "BANG" and "BIGGER BANG".
     "Medium Capacity": this relates to weapons in the kiloton range, like the WE177.  Art?

X does indeed mark the spot

     This article would have impressed any hapless Sinisters who might be around when it went off, as it packed up to 450 kilotons.  Then we have - 
     "High Capacity": for which read anything with a yield in megatons.  Art?

Thus

     This is the appealingly-named "Yellow Sun" with a "Green Grass" 1.1 megaton core, which, in Conrad's opinion, would render the green green grass of home pretty brown and lifeless.