Getting A Bit Snarky

No!  That Is Not A Typo
If I was going to abbreviate "Sarcastic" then there wouldn't be an "n" in there. Nor is it a typo about 'Sharks'.  I told you before, we'll get to sharks later.  Be patient.

I Googles "Snark" and this came up

     What I refer to is another variety of nuclear cruise missile, as invented by those prolific and dread engineers of South Canada.
     "What, another?" I hear you quibble.  Or perhaps quail, you do seem to have got the bird a bit.
     Yes, another nuclear-tipped cruise missile!  Your grandparents had to put up with these things at the time, the least you can do is pay attention whilst your humble scribe holds forth.
     Now, some people hold that the denizens of Strategic Air Command sit around all day dreaming of ways to blow up The Other Chaps, whoever they might be at the time.  All day long, plotting, sinisterly, with a cold cruel sneer on their collective faces.
     Er - not quite.  They do, on occasion, reveal a human face; there is the "Loon", a primitive nuclear missile, named after either the bird or a Particular Type Of Person.  Then there was the "Boojum", which is rather a whimsical name for a design; it never made it off the drawing-board.
     Now we come to another whimsy - the Snark.  Technically the SM-62, this was a cruise missile designed to travel over intercontinental distances and deliver a whopping 3.8 megaton warhead to the target.
     If it got there; the guidance system was - er- frequently faulty.  One test launch ended up in Brazil, and once proper ICBMs arrived the Snark was hastily withdrawn from service.  Let's have some pictures.  Art?

Snark with puny human for scale

     There you are: Strategic Air Command, laden with unexpected humanity.  And a fondness for nonsense rhymes.

Being very candid about their targets!

Being Serious For Once
It does happen occasionally.  I once changed the fuse on a plug, you know, and have been to get a haircut several times.
     This refers to our family outing yesteryon, to a Frightfully Trendie Eatery (because that's how they'd spell it) called "Jamie's Italian".  I think the apostrophe here implies that the venue belongs to Jamie, rather than him coming from Rome.  Or Milan, we don't sit in judgement here.
     Anyway, people seem to like a particular photograph of your humble hack.  Art?

Portrait of the artist as a John Carpenter-wannabe

     Yes, I am grimly unsmiling here, but then I always am in photographs.  The reason for looking so determined beside is that I take eating seriously; that burger is about to die.  The spicy fries also.
     Please note I have cut down on my pens, and that Hellboy is a hero for the age.  The dining staff didn't look askance even once, so they must have been secretly impressed at a wispy white-haired old codger being au fait with the BPRD's top agent.

A Stew Of Film Review
It's really no business of yours how I conduct the weekly shop, except to say that I go equipped with a detailed list.  The foodstuffs being bought, I then take a few minutes to peruse the DVD aisles of Morrisons, and rather than succumb to the urge to BUY THAT DVD RIGHT NOW!NOW NOW NOW!!! I make notes on the shopping list instead.  This is a wise precaution, because - you may have noticed this - the synopsis on the back of a DVD frequently bears little resemblance to the film itself, particularly when it's a low-budget flick trying to not-quite-lie about either origin or plot.
     Shall we begin?
     "Operation Avalanche": Conrad was initially confused, as to a military anorak like him, this refers to the Allied invasion of Italy at the Salerno beach-head in September 1943. 

Italy, 1943, and the Allies - no, hang on -

 In fact this is a conspiracy thriller about NASA and the Moon landings, with a CIA team masquerading as documentary film-makers chasing a Russian mole.  It scores a respectable 6.0 at IMBD, so worth a watch.  However - Conrad seems to remember that the CIA is not chartered for domestic intelligence work and any such investigation would really be carried out by the FBI.  Sorry to nit-pick, chaps, but there you are.

On the set of the Moon - no, hang on -

     "Planet Of The Sharks":  See?  I told you we'd get around to sharks eventually.This one did not look promising and earns only a 2.8 at IMDB.  The plot states that global warming has flooded 98% of the globe, the sharks have eaten the seas empty and now they're coming for the few surviving humans.  According to the reviews you can expect a lot of poor CGI sharks.  Wait - before we even go there, what about global oxygen levels?  If only 2% of land is above water, what's driving plant life to produce oxygen and convert CO2?  Where are the arable crops?  The dairy farms?  If people are living out of tins then they're going to need dietary supplements.  How are those sharks going to get at people living at the top of hi-rise apartment blocks?  What about the WE177 nuclear depth charge?

How to sort out Bruce