When Is The Bug Not A Bug?

Okay, This Will Take A Bit Of Explaining
And no, the answer is not "When it's Bugs Bunny".
     As you surely know by now, BOOJUM! avoids three things:  Religion, Politics and Current Affairs.  The first two as they provoke furious disagreement even amongst people of the same religion or politics, let alone different ones, and the latter because most of what you read about in the media is either flatulent nonsense of nil news value, or ghastly horror stories about how cruel you humans can be to one another.

BREAKING NEWS!  CONRAD ONCE DRANK A BOTTLE OF BEER!
And stuck pens down his tee-shirt.

     So, bearing in mind that I'm watching "Person Of Interest" where this week's bad guys are Russians, and that there has lately been a teensy bit of controversy about how that Litvinenko chap came to die, Conrad is here to brighten your day with sunshine, flowers and a bit of positive counterbalance for the Russians in your life.
     Back to that riddle. Okay, okay, the Bug River forms the border between Poland (land of those diligent, Catholic-work-ethic-driven creators of GROM) and Belarus (White Russia) and the Ukraine (land of the Chernozem - Black Earth).  As a river it does not possess antennae, nor six legs.
     Calling it "Bug" is also cheating, as the local pronunciation is closer to "Buk", but creating a Russian pun based on slang for American dollars would have been pretty difficult.

Still With Me?  Excellent!
Okay, as Conrad found himself in Manchester city centre during opening hours on a Saturday, I ventured into the shops.  Well, "shop" - Fopp!  Here I was unable to find anything by Kayo Dot or Athlete, so commiserated with myself with this lot:

John Carpenter, Arcade Fire
Steely Dan, Bjork
Joe Zawinul

     I would like to point out to those idle slovens Athlete that it's 7 years since their last album and if they've split apart, man-up and inform the world.
     Yes, the "Lost Themes" by John Carpenter is that John Carpenter, the film director.  He's a talented musician on the side and if your elderly scribe remembers, he might try to get tickets for the November gig in Manchester.

What I Really Wanted To Show You Was This -
Occasionally the world wobbles in it's orbit and throws up a wrinkle in reality that shocks or surprises your humble author, sometimes both at once.  "The Man In The High Castle", for instance.  Revolution Radio before that cretin Penk got his hands on it.  Banana-flavoured Twinkies.
     And this -

The one on the left!  The left!

    Whilst I like the films that the Coen brothers make, it is "Hard To Be A God" that floored me as I walked past the World Cinema shelves.  It's from a novel written by the Strugatsky Brothers, back in the Sixties, when the Soviet Union was still rumbling along.  
     Arkady and Boris wrote thoughtful science-fiction, a long way from the WHAM-BLAM-ATOMIC-FOOFOODILLY brand that we in the West read (or wrote).  "Roadside Picnic" was filmed (kind of) as "Stalker".

I confess - I bought it because of the cover

     So, HTBAG.  The novel concerns a set of observers from an Utopian Earth, who travel to the medieval hell-hole planet of Arkanar, tasked with observing the culture as it develops.  They are strictly forbidden to interfere beyond the mildest and smallest of interventions, lest they distort or destroy the planet's natural progress.  You might be familiar with this in "Star Trek" as the "Prime Directive of non-interference".  All very good, but what if that non-interference means watching all your friends getting killed?  All the people you respect?  All the people who might lead the way out of medieval barbarism?  Could you intervene?  Should you?  And if you do, what will the consequences be?  On the surface it's an adventure, but underneath it has long philosophical roots.
     And they made a film of it!  Somewhere, Philip K. Dick is twisting reality just to make Conrad happy.

"Not a problem, Conrad"

More Of The Haul
I picked up a copy of "Janes Fighting Ships of World War 1" from my very good friend at Church Street Books, and I can tell what you're thinking.  "Goodness me, how very stereotype-breaking it is that this lady Jane, whoever she is, picked on such a masculine topic as naval warfare!"
     Cool your jets.  I remember seeing a copy of "Jane's Aircraft Recognition Guide" as a ten year old and sneering at it because it had such a girly title*.
     We are talking of Fred T. Jane, ladies and gentlemen**, an emphatically masculine member of Hom. Sap.  Enough witter, have a picture:

     The previous owner has carefully added cutting from the Telegraph, mostly dated, in the inner pages, which provides an unexpected bonus.

"Yes, but sunshine, flowers and smiling Russians?" I hear you ask.

Well, okay.  There is a list of nautical terms in the Jane's, including Russian ones; in Roman not Cyrillic, for convenience.  The Russian term for "Abaft" - meaning "behind" in the parlance us naval folk use***, is "Korma".
     So, if you are hosting a party and you corner one of your Russian friends with tray of canapes and ask if they want to try a "Chicken Korma", don't be surprised if they go pale and stand backs-to-the-wall.

"Conrad!  You amuse me!
We shall still have words, but they will be soft ones."

Yeah, that's me, Putin in the overtime ...

* You could get away with behaviour like that in the olden days.
** And those unsure -
*** I have one so that makes it true.