Talking With Dinosaurs

That Should Be "Dinosaur", Singular
Mostly because I am, and yes it is I, your humble scribe.  "Singular" in both senses - unique and also operating solo.  Why the plural?  Because today's traffic needs all the boosting it can get, since we are almost in minus figures.
     The "Talking" bit is also not to be taken literally since we are to open tonight with the Lost Art of Letter Writing.  
     Yes.   As you surely know by now, Conrad has all the pens all the time (except for cat).

Proof

  There is a very good reason for this - he is always writing all the time.  Being a dinosaur* (with fewer teeth but just as sharp) it doesn't exist for him unless written down - for which see the diary, sample letter, this notebook, notes on Eden Underwood, etcetera ad nauseum.
     So.  The letter.

A letter, just so we're clear

     There is no character limit in the written message, gasp! So you can properly communicate at length.  
     Considerable length (some feel this is more a problem rather than a positive).  
You can add bits along the margins, use RED for Emphasis, shout with UPPER CASE, sketch in a cartoon, add delicate shading with spilt tea or perfume it with grease from last night's curry.
     Nor do you need an AC power supply, computer and monitor screen, still less a wildly variable mobile signal that also comes with expressly mortal battery, nor the necessity of using a keyboard with characters smaller than the bottom row of an optician's chart.  For those of us with Jumbo Sausage-sized fingers this smacks of digital discrimination.  Digital as in "digits" the fingers, nothing to do with hideous devil-box technology ta very much.
    Then of course you need to make sure you pay Royal Snail the correct extortion, or they hold the missive to ransom and beware!  for they will probably demand the soul of your first-born child.

"The Frogs"
Aha, you were expecting a horrid polemic against the French, weren't you?  Tut!  Shame on you, this is BOOJUM! being cultured.  Yes, we are nothing if not cultured.  We are so - look there's Conrad cocking his little finger whilst guzzling a mug of tea.  Culture.
     After banging on about The Birds, the wretched songsters, for weeks, Conrad recalled a play by Aristophanes called "The Newts", except it was actually "The Frogs".  They're still amphibians so I think you can let me have that one.  Influential chap, Aristo - called "The Father of Comedy".  I wonder what he'd make of BOOJUM!  I forsee an interview in the near future.


     I can't resist a bit of analysis of "The Frogs".  It features as lead characters Dionysus and his slave Xanthias - except the slave is braver, stronger, cleverer and more handsome than his erstwhile master.  Probably the archetypal Dim Master and Clever Servant story, and one cannot help think of Bertie Wooster and Jeeves.  In fact I bet P. G. Wodehouse had Aristophanes dinned into him at prep school.  So.

Father of beards, too, apparently

The Birds And Their Words
You can't call Conrad inconsistent.  Well, you can, except it's his blog and he'd just ignore you, or infect your ISP with a Trojan Herd virus**.  So once again this morning the feathered fiends were being relentlessly cheerful, which didn't bother Conrad too much as he is as cheerful as he gets, it being payday.  Still, the birds don't get a wage, do they?  So what the heck have they to squawk about?

BLACKBIRD:  Good MORNING!

THRUSH: GOOD Morning!

BB: Give it a minute and Fatty will appear at a trot

T:  Or as close as he can manage

BB: Ah, yes, here's the palsied old duffer.  Trot, Fatty, trot!

T:  Why the desperate and undignified hasty shuffle?

BB: Oh, he's trying to catch a First Bus.  

T:  Them!  First Bus timetables.  Even more amusing than old fat men falling down.

BB: Ah, yes, humans***.  Slaves to a schedule.

T:  How fortunate we don't have to perform to any kind of timetable or put in a series of observations on cue.

BB: Yes, that would be ironic.

T:  Doesn't the Starling show up about now to embarrass Fatty?

 - then the bus failed to appear

Default Answer = "NO"
I found this advert on Facebook and was interested in a morbid kind of way.  Since I already have many tee shirts to my name I wonder what production volume counts as "Very limited"?  Nine raised to the seventh power?  Or, ninety million for the rest of you.

     We are skirting about the edges of Politics, yet since this is a non-defined "Government" and could to refer to the one in power when "The Wall" was made, I repeat that title:  No, you should not.  The Government has to earn your trust, which is why none of them last very long.

"The Newts"
Now, there is actually a work called "War With The Newts" by that Czech titan of modern literature, Carel Capek, if you absolutely MUST have newts.  Not as daft as the title suggests, either.

I had to get a bit of Jeeves and Wooster in.

     And remember - keep watching the skies!   "Valky Z Mloky!"^







* Which is Greek for "Terrible Lizard" so at least half applicable to your humble scribe.
** Like a Trojan Horse, except bigger and badder
*** Wide of the mark but I'll let it go
^ Czech for "War with the newts!" which has a sense of "Keep watching the skies" about it, in my opinion.