Making A Bigger Bang

A Much, MUCH Bigger Bang
As you know, your humble scribe is far too knowledgeable about nuclear warfare and nuclear wea - er - foofoodillies, nuclear foofoodillies for his own good, which is probably one of the reasons MI5, the CIA, GSG, the FSB, UNIT and GROM are all parked outside, listening eagerly on their eavesdropping devices, hiding in their Anonymous White Vans with the SAS's PAGODA Five CREW* on thirty seconds notice.
     Hence Conrad's modicum of interest in claims that the Norks have set off what the press rather blandly calls an "H-Bomb", and this is potentially big news, big enough to traipse around the borders of Current Affairs.
     Okay, let us first examine a weapon that I've mentioned before, "Grand Slam".  This was a British bomb of the late Second Unpleasantness which weighed in at ten tons, and which required a specially modified Lancaster bomber to carry it.

Grand Slam in rear, with humans for scale

     This monster didn't have to hit it's target directly, since it travelled underground before detonating, creating a huge cavern that collapsed and took everything nearby with it.
     Okay, I chose Grand Slam because of the yield - ten tons.
     Let us now skip merrily forward - we may be discussing thermonuclear foofoodillies but that doesn't mean we have to slouch, does it? - ten years to 1955.  The Cold War is bubbling under and both the South Canadians and the Borschty Boys are cooking up H-bombs as fast as possible.  Enter the Mk 17, a monster of a bomb, viz:

With human for scale

     This whopper required a specially adapted Convair Peacemaker to carry it, as it weighed in at 21 tons.  It's yield was 10 Megatonnes, or 10,000,000 tons of HE equivalent, so one million times more powerful than Grand Slam.
     That's not all.  Just to give you a frisson of excitement, the Mk 17's were originally carried armed and fused, ready to be dropped at a moment's notice.  No safety measures here, no sir, these things could have gone off accidentally if they'd been dropped five feet onto the runway apron.  This only happened for the first 6 months of their life, after which wiser counsel prevailed and the fuses were carried separately.
     Oh, and for those initial 6 months the bomb didn't have a retarding parachute.  This means the flash, shockwave and fireball would have destroyed the Peacemaker that dropped it.  C'est la guerre, eh?

After this it would have been "Piecemaker"

     I can hear you quibbling, gentle reader.  "Thank you for terrifying us, Conrad, thank you so much!  What does this have to do with the Norks and their firecracker?"
     Precisely.  Back in the bad old days of above-ground nuclear testing, there was NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER that you'd set off an H-FFD**, given the fallout and loud echoes involved.  Even when tests moved underground the seismic effects can be detected.
     So.  Nork nuclear device revealed:

0.000015 Kt yield

The Clavinet
NO!  I have not mis-spelled "Clarinet".  Do give your humble scribe a bit of credit.  The clavichord, I'll have you know, was a stringed keyboard instrument that came out of the Late Medieval period and continued all the way up until whenever.

Clavichord

     The point is, it was suitable for composition and solo home performance, but certainly not for public performance, not even in a small and intimate setting due to the low volume of it's produced sound <sad face>.
     This sad state of affairs existed until ELECTRICITY! whereupon Hohner made an electrically-amplified version called the "Clavinet".  You can hear it on Pink Floyd's "Shine On You Crazy Diamond", played by the late great Rick Wright (dead at 68).

Rick and his keyboards, helpfully labelled

(Alleged) Murder By Phaser: The Reprise
TRIBUNAL (Played by Elisha Cook's grandson): Kaptain Cirk, Yeoman Rand is still missing!
CIRK:  Yeah, so I believe.
TRIBUNAL: After 127 years!
CIRK: Really?  Probably lost her looks, then.
TRIBUNAL: You insist she's still on holiday?
CIRK: Yeah.  Probably lost her visa along with her looks.  Be seeing ya.

The Romantic Chic Of This Pic Of Reykjavik
Romantic, yes.  Dangerous?  Positively!  Take a closer look.

Is that Christian Slater?

     Matey is genuflecting in the middle of the road.  Okay, this is Reykjavik, not Piccadilly Circus or Times Square, you wouldn't expect a traffic scrum at any time of the day.  However, look at the weather.  Very poor visibility and bad braking conditions on the road.  
     World's shortest engagement:
HE:  Will you marry me?
SHE: Yes!
HE I've got a <WHAM!>

Where Is My SNOW!
Conrad is annoyed.  Don't worry, no vengeance will be visited upon your heads as you are the viewing audience after all and if I sorted you out the traffic would decline.  No, my teeth-grinding annoyance is directed at the weather.  Take a look at this:

We are hitting the middle of January and - NO SNOW!  Rain, clouds, wind, yes yes yes, but no delicate ice frosting dropping from the heavens.
     Like I said, annoyed.




* Counter-REvenant Warfare - they fight the living dead.
** FooFooDilly