Conrad is pretty chipper at present, having just started to sluice down his second pot of tea for the day - Tea! The cup that cheers and not inebriates, which is a quote from someone, somewhere. And nothing at all to do with the rest of the Intro.
As mentioned yesterday, I caught a stretch of the Star Trek's "The Conscience of the King" episode all the way from 1965, and it got me to wondering about phasers.
A phaser. A PROPER phaser! not one of those silly ones from The Next Generation |
E.g. |
Well, if he'd zapped her with a phaser on "Barbecue" setting (or whatever it is), then there wouldn't be anything left of her. Nil. Zero. Nul. Please don't mistake getting Full Microwave Zap Power for getting people disintegrated, as there isn't even a small pile of dust remaining. No, Yeoman Rand would have been completely vapourised, leaving nothing behind, bar perhaps a bit more effort required of the Enterprise's air-conditioning system.
So, say old Cirk does get hauled up in front of a tribunal:
Tribunal (played of course by Elisha Cook): Where is Yeoman Janice Rand!
Cirk: What, old Randy? No idea.
Tribunal: I put it to you that you brutally murdered her, Kaptain!
Cirk: Nah. Besides, where's the proof?
Tribunal: You killed her by shooting her with a phaser. Brutally!
Cirk: Nah. I was warming a coffee.
Tribunal: So - you admit to firing a phaser? Brutally!
Cirk: Yeah. To heat my coffee.
Tribunal: Let the records indicate the enormous energy output of this phaser.
Cirk: It was a big cup.
Tribunal: Ah. Er -
Cirk: I'll just be running along now. Let me know if Randy turns up.
You see? No habeus corpus. There would be even less of a case if the murder occurred outdoors, as any residual vapours would be instantly lost to the heavens.
So - Star Trek's Federation - a licence to kill!
Also useful for cheating husbands |
Conrad was brought up in a time of vinyl disks and rotary turntables, which he was glad to wave goodbye to once the CD arrived, believe me. Vinyl disks were fragile and large and weighty in any number, and the turntable was a pain to maintain. Conrad once watched in horror as a greenfly landed on an LP he was playing, on exactly the wrong place, and got minced underneath the needle as it got swept along. Of course that would never happen with a CD - that greenfly would have been blasted to atoms by the CD player's laser (see above post re phasers).
Anyway, ex-workmate Ian is big on vinyl. Not only does he release music on vinyl LPs (as "A Day For Airstrikes") he also buys them.
A passing fad, thought Conrad, unaware that Vinyl Exchange in Manchester has a basement full of vinyl - the name is probably a hint - and then The Metro had words to say.
Panasonic's Technic SL 1200 |
Heck, if The Metro is going on about this stuff Ian was right and I was wrong.
Nork Airframe Deployed In Support Of H-
Okay, if I say "Nork" and it's in a light and amenable manner, then I am referring to Norway and the Norwegians, who have inherited some pretty awesome scenery.
If, on the other hand, I state it with sneering contempt, then I refer to North Korea. You might class this as satire, perilously close to current affairs or even (Gasp!) politics, but back in the blog's early days we used to pick on Norks as they were an easy target and still are.
North Korean Strategic Bomber at readiness |
Too many words! More pictures!
Strange Growths
I now have to share the breakfast table with these specimens:
The mushroom things, of course |
Undying Jam
Behold and bow down to the awesome wonder that is Persimmon Jam:
Talk about the jam. Don't talk of the pork. |
Nothing world-shaking, just an affirmation that Persimmon Jam is a
Next Generation crew looking suitably embarrassed - - are those hoovers? razors? calculators? |
* Subtle Mirror Universe allusion here.
** It's a long story but I'm trying to avoid using certain words
*** Heretofore the official abbreviation
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