Base Conrad, attempting to attract visitors with reference to that cult Sixties success!
Although I do not recall anyone on the series ever explaining from where the word "phaser" is derived. The acronym "laser", minus the periods, is "Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation", so where does that "ph-" come from?
"Photon" suggest the critics waiting in the wings. Ah but, that would only render it a "paser", which is quite pathetic. You can't imagine a mighty space battle being fought with "pasers", can you? So what else might it be? "Positron Harmonisation" sounds quite convincing. One can see Mister Spock explaining away the acronym to an exasperated Doctor McCoy ending in "I'm a doctor, not a death-ray specialist!" and a smirk from Kirk as the episode ends.
No, "Pork Ham Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation" fits the acronym but simply will not do as a convincing pseudo-physics explanation. Although in the television adaptation of "The Martian Chronicles" a Martian does use a stream of high-speed bees as a murder weapon. That might cut it, honey, but a pig-powered phaser - sorry, no.
Oh, I just thought of a direct link between the blog title and Star Trek:
 |
| Poached pike*! |
Just had to din it into your eager, indifferent or actively hostile ears that yes, Conrad is still maintaining his abstention from alcohol. Consumption of tea, coffee and lemonade has rather rocketed, meaning Mister Liver still has to run to keep up. Hop, liver, hop!
As this is blatantly neither news nor entertaining, allow me to inflict upon you what Facebook thinks ought to be shared with the world at large, namely a photograph from this time last year:
 |
| Conrad; your humble yet simultaneously sinister scribe |
The "Poaching" Bit - Finally
This theme might take a while to generate so go and put the kettle on whilst I work up a bit of creative froth.
Okay, I happened to catch the end of "The Towering Inferno" yesterday, where Steve McQueen as Chief O'Halloran helicopters in to help Paul Newman blow up the gravity-flow water tanks atop the titular skyscraper. All is aflame as they battle their way downstairs, enduring near-fricaseeing from all the flames belching in all directions all the time. Then people are deluged by a minor flood from the upstairs.
 |
| Does what it says on the tin. |
Oh, and For Your Information - the cat survived.
You What?
And once again the Twits manage to irk Conrad. Given that he exists in a permanent state of irk-borderingness, it really doesn't take much. The example:
 |
Bah!
Dictator Dining-Table Etiquette
Conrad rather wonders about what happens when you're part of the North Korean inner circle, dining with the Sulky Fat Lad, and you happen to notice that he's got a drop of tomato soup on his chin.
GENERAL GUK BANG: Excuse me, your most worshipful excellence, but you have a drop of soup on your chin.
KIM JONG-UN: Thank you, General (dabs soup away with napkin). Guards, take him out and execute him.
GENERAL GUK BANG: Oh, thank you, divine majesticness!
Of course, it might be worse:
GENERAL GUK BANG: I beg your pardon for interrupting your dining experience, o most high and worthy, but - your flies are undone.
KIM JONG-UN: Thank you, General (remedies trouser trouble). Guards, take him and his entire family out and execute them.
GENERAL GUK BANG: O! I'm so honoured!
This being so -
 |
| Monty Python has a long reach |
See you later!
* After Captain Christopher Pike.
** Or a pike
No comments:
Post a Comment