Studio Ghastly/Giblets

That's Not Too Obscure, Is It?
In case it is go look up "Spirited Away" and/or "Howl's Moving Castle", easily the first and second-best animated films ever in the history of the world, which is still giving them the benefit of the doubt*.
     For those of you not versed in the Queen of Languages, "Giblets" is a colloquial term for the insides, usually of a chicken but in this case referring to Conrad, a close cousin of that creature given his sheer cowardliness.  Yesterday we were in the realm of the liver, with it's jaundiced views, ho ho.  You are already familiar with Oscar (the mental midden), a.k.a. Conrad's mind, ensconced we presume in Conrad's brain.  We presume as the correlation of the two is not entirely certain.

Conrad (left) and his brains (right).  Not always in the same place at the same time.

     Last night we let Liver off the leash, and immediately regretted it, as he is the living definition of "Self Centred", the choleric crank.  In future we shall exert a little more control via - hmm, let's think - ah yes, the threat of whisky milkshakes.
     Below and behind the liver in terms of human pathology is Stomach, perhaps better known in Conrad as the Fusion-Powered Laser-Firing Tungsten Steel Roller Disintegration Unit.  Remember the Doomsday Machine in the original Star Trek?  Like that in pocket size.  Not going to pass any editorial powers over to it - all you'd get is EAT CRUSH EAT CONSUME EAT EAT EAT.

Only we can prevent planets

     "This is relevant how?" you ask.  Well, because I finished off the Blackcurrant flavoured raisins at work today, merely 22 months past their Best Before date, and am now about to tuck into a batch of mince pies that Mandy very kindly brought in, Best Before 11th January, practically in-date.
     Tomorrow:  Conrad's kidneys hold forth!

"Jack Of All Trades"
Featuring Bruce Campbell!  And for anyone who says "Who?" the exit door IS THAT WAY!
     Conrad had never heard of this programme until earlier this week when some fans on Twitter mentioned it, after which I just had to go Google about it.  "The Adventures of Briscoe County Junior", yes - Jack Stiles, not at all.

Master of some

     What did I find?  That it was a costume comedy-drama from 2000, which had run for 22 episodes before being killed by the Evil Dead.  Sorry!  Studio Executives**.  Hollywood Suits. High-Function Walking Dead?
     They were in half-hour format, which was unusual for the time, and played fast and loose with history, plot and characters, typical of anything Bruce is in.
     Now, Conrad was worried that Bruce might be forever seen by critics of the future as only ever a cult success (bar "Burn Notice"), so it's nice to see "Ash Versus The Evil Dead" becoming a hit, getting a second season - and coming in at thirty minutes per episode.

FILM REVIEW

I will once again remind you about the BOOJUM! film review criteria:
1)  No research allowed, we go off the title alone.
2)  Raving literalists we.
3)  Conrad doesn't bother with concepts like "fair-minded", "impartial" or "unbiased". If he feels like giving a film both barrels of an elephant gun, he will.
     Okay, let battle commence!

"Daddy's Home":  Is he.  Is he indeed.  Where else, Conrad muses, might he be?  "Daddy's At Work"; "Daddy's In Prison"; "Daddy's Run Off With The Babysitter's Uncle"; "Daddy's Dead Not Feeling Very Well".  One feels that this film has very little to say and will take an inordinate length of time to say it.  Next!

Daddy's home, and no doubt about it

"Deadpool":  Looks pretty lively to me.  Also an anagram of "Dado Pole", which see.  And who wants to see a dull ecological documentary about a lifeless lake?

Fortunately, BOOJUM! lacks smells

"The Big Short": I knew there were three films in The Metro.  Could I remember what the third one was?  No.  Not until last night, when it came to me in a vision***: The Big Short.  Then, this morning, a First Bus sails past with a poster for - you're ahead of me here, aren't you? - The Big Short.  Thanks, First, 24 hours late.  For them that's practically on-time.  
     Anyway, the fillum.  Sounds deadly dull.  In fact it makes ditchwater sound like a wild partying night out with film stars and illegal substances.  It is, I take it, a docudrama?  Doubtless about how "The Towering Inferno" occurred.  Great.  90 minutes of electrical safety diagrams.

What a shame this isn't Bart

YOU CAN COME OUT NOW THE FILM SKEWERING HAS FINISHED

Too many words!  More pictures!

Okay, let's get on with a bit of Foob-Bashing:

You What?
This might be from the Foobs or the Twits, and I haven't got the time or patience to bother finding out.  What's that?  "Lazy"?  Whose blog is it?  Precisely!

"Cisco UK & Ireland" - In the fast paced digital era, here's why CIO's need to react quickly"

     What?  What?  Whatwhatwhat?   Are they advertising watches?  What is Cisco?  What is a "CIO"?  Why is that a manual watch when they're talking about digital?
     Get out of here!


*"Studio Ghibli" you see.
** How do you tell the difference?
*** Brought on by too much tea and cheese near bedtime