I Made Lemonade!

Unfortunately - For Some - You Can't Taste A Blog
Nor can you smell it, although that makes no difference to Conrad who has no sense of smell anyway*.
     Anyway, last week, to use up a batch of old lemons, I made lemonade.  Yes, there is that saying.  The lemonade went down very well with Wonder Wifey, as with your humble scribe, as it's all gone.  It only consists of water, sugar and lemons.
     "What is the recipe for this delicious drink, Conrad?" I hear you call, which is unusually flattering for you lot and makes me suspicious.
     "Who us, Mighty Conrad? The merely curious?" I hear, which once again makes me suspicious about 
     <Mister Hand intervenes to move the process along or this would take till 2017>
     Okay, take 3 lemons, 140 grams sugar, and 1 litre of water.  Dissolve the sugar in 1/2 litre water.  Chop up the lemons, taking care to take out the pips, stick in a blender with the rest of the water.  Then sieve the resultant slurry into a bowl and funnel into a bottle.
     Voila!  One of your five a day.
     "Proof!  Proof, Conrad, you duplicitous rascal," I hear you say.
     O I hoped you'd never ask.

Dull stuff - dissolving the sugar

Dull stuff again - prepping the pips

Less dull.  Blending the lemons

Bottling.

     There you have it.  Oh, if you want to make your lemonade pink, chuck in a few raspberries.

How very domestic!  Let us look far beyond the four walls of the kitchen.  Far, far beyond, all the way to the other side of the Atlantic, in fact, over in South Canada and -

NCIS
Yes yes yes, my guilty secret, except I've been yarking on about it so often for so long that it's a secret as salt.
     It's about the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, who investigate - the clue is in the title - crimes involving the Navy or Marine Corps.  I'm watching from Episode One, meaning I'm catching the end of stuff I only saw the beginning of on television, or where I catch the beginning after seeing the end.
     One of Conrad's big questions is Help Provided.  Just how much does the Department of Defence or the Navy provide in terms of facilities, personnel, equipment and ships?  I wonder, as there are no cringing platitudes in the end credits about "grovelling thanks to the DoD and the USN for letting us use their tanks like Tonka toys".

For this you'd have to grovel Big Time

     Take the episode "Sub Rosa" - terrible pun concerning the USS Pegasus - which features an aircraft carrier, a frigate, a motorboat and a nuclear submarine, as well as a passenger aircraft and a helicopter.  Some of this will be stock footage, but not all of it, surely?  The submarine interiors are definitely going to be mock-ups as I doubt the Navy would merrily allow it's facilities to be displayed for every snooping hound to see.  
     And then again, since the Villain of the Piece is usually a member of the Navy or Marine Corps, which does not paint these services in a light of roseate hue, which would definitely disincline official approval and help, perhaps is it all smoke and mirrors.

Getting Freaky With Tzatziki
Yes, another excruciating pun.  This is BOOJUM! - I'd be neglecting things if I merely put up the title "Conrad Made A Greek Dip", unless I referred to the Hellenic Republic's Consul in Manchester.
     Hay Pesto!

Not a consul in sight

     Well, there was a cucumber that needed using up, and a load of yoghurt the same, and I used to make it all the time when I was younger.  One of your five a day and goes great with pitta bread, that above cost about the same to make as the piddly little cartons you get that are too watery anyway.  So HAH!

They're Drowning Her!  They're Drowning Her!
Or so it seems.  To what do I refer?  Why, a bizarre advert from Nurofen that features them deliberately putting a lady under water.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9WSsxqzCbs

  Call me squeamish if you like but this seems like - what's the word?  It's on the tip of my tongue - oh yes - DANGEROUS!

See?  See?

     Sheesh.  Conrad is glad he has impeccable health**.

Well, just about time to leave you with a thought for the day, or what's left of it:

"Dies by Sue Wilson One Day Special"

     A television programme.  Obviously this "Sue Wilson" is a killer-for-hire out to sort out all her contracts within 24 hours (ergonomics, one presumes), although I can't see why it would crop up on the "Craft" channel.



*  Doesn't make much difference day-to-day
** Widely attributed to "stupid healthy genes"