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Thursday 5 November 2015

Time, Like An Ever Flowing Stream -

Actually That's A Bit Nineteenth Century
If you remember Conrad's slightly bizarre discursion on the matter of time and reality, you'll remember that time is a bit more three dimensional and with considerably greater depth than a stream.  Plus, a stream goes only one way, and - look, Doctor Who's reconstructions of past events, future events and alternative events proves that you can flit around in time, and it's a whole lot more structured than a "ball of wibbly wobbly timey-wimey stuff" thank you Tenth Doctor!
Image result for david tennant wibbly wobbly
Awesomely simplified time mechanics explained
     I mention time as it's currently flowing along at high speed.  This is partly to do with First Bus being late, slow and overcrowded - Hey! three of their trademark features - and the looming presence of the Pub Quiz, which I haven't attended for four weeks now.  Squished between these pillars of chalcedon chronicity, is my free time.  Part of this is occupied by the blog and these lines you see before you, part will be - well, that's for later in the post.  Part of it might have been baking, except the slice of alloted time for that is getting ever smaller.

The Metro And "60 Seconds"
The Fish-And-Chip Wrapper has been on a relative roll, for it.  Tuesday they featured Nick Frost;
Image result for nick frost
 Wednesday they featured Joanna Lumley;
Image result for joanna lumley
 and today they dropped the ball in typical Tomorrow's-Bin-Liner fashion with a person called "Mark Watson";
Image result for avocado
 whom Conrad has never heard of.  Nor am I bothered enough to Google about him.  I do know what an avocado is, though.

Pumpkin Puree And Peanut Butter Biscuits
I made the dough for these earlier in the week, and then had to stick the dough in the fridge as I didn't have time to bake them.  Yesterday I rolled out the dough and made 23 biscuits, viz:
Yeah, yeah, there's only 22.
     "How can you have baked these and be lamenting about no baking tonight, Conrad?" I hear you call in protest.  Actually these are dog biscuits.  Quite edible if you as a member of Hom. Sap. wished to eat them, although not very sweet.  Crunchy as all get out, however, and Edna went demented for them last night.  In the spirit of sustaining friendships I have presented some to Anna and Katie at work; hopefully Anna will not indulge in the tease she tried last time, almost allowing Mark to scoff a biscuit ...
     Oh, there's only 22 in the photo because Edna ate the other one.

You What?
Another bizarre Suggested Post from the Foobs, and Conrad really wonders where they get their ideas from.  All I know about motorbikes is what I've learned from Colin, and that rests at the fact that they come in air-cooled or liquid-cooled versions.
RMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
     As Conrad is an utter coward, you will not find him ever getting on a motorbike, since everything else on the road is harder, heavier, feels less pain and is more stable.  With the possible exception of a push-bike; and they don't go fast enough to be lethal.
     Don't go away, there's more.  I have no idea what this is about:
???????????
     Linux is computery-wutery in some vague undefined way that has never impinged on Conrad's awareness, and what "Udemy" is, I throw to the audience.  Hungarian noodle soup?  A spirit avatar of the Nez Perce indians?  Active ingredient in  Old Spice aftershave?  Norwegian dish of pigs trotters pickled in aspic?
     If you have the answer, please confine it to yourself, Conrad does not care.

"Big Money" By PG Wodehouse
I've not bored you with an analysis of this yet, have I?  Don't worry, I shall merely observe that it was written in 1951, and is thus slightly more contemporary in tone than "Piccadilly Jim", although looking back on the latter, written in 1917, one of Plum's subtle touches is that it is timeless and could indeed almost be set up to the present day.
     What of things in BM?  Conrad sees mischief, heartbreak, ruin and wrack in the future, which sounds especially jolly, don't you think?
     Take Berry Conway's mine.  I foresee trouble, money trouble.
     The Biscuit and Anna's engagement; true love thus, inevitably, there will be trouble.
     T. Paterson Frisby and Aunt Velma Mace: Tears.  That's what it'll end in.
     And this only 1/5 of the way in .....

Welcome To Urquelumplangia!
Yes indeed.  Situated in Central Europe, at the crossroads of Slavic and Teutonic kingdoms and culture, this Seventeenth Century kingdom of the Royal House of Blodaussehend is - entirely made up.
     It's the country where Markus Van Ogleheim, official Mage to the Royal Court, lives and suffers.  Markus, you see, is a pretty rubbish wizard, a fact which he is happy to acknowledge.  His main preoccupations in life are brewing mead and breeding finches - until the other nineteen wizards of the kingdom are all killed in a mysterious and tragic accident, putting him by default into the official position.
Image result for drunk mead
Wizard!
     Well, having come up with the royal court, the wizard and his apprentice, I'm having great fun in creating the background for my NANOWRIMO novel.  I've got until 31st November to enlarge the above to a 50,000 word plot. On top of all my regular diversions.
     Wish me luck!



* No asterisked points today, I just put this in to see if you were paying attention
















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