Conrad, if you were previously unaware of the fact, cannot confess to knowing exactly what is, or was, going on in his mind, especially when confronted with photographic evidence of same.
For example:
Here we see Conrad, wearing a tee shirt and pen, and also sporting a stylish bamboo skewer dangling from his mouth. Why? A good question. Sorry, got no answer.
Then we have him obviously trying to be clever -
I should cocoa - |
Where Eagles Dare - Conrad's Continuity Questions
I gave up on the WED Drinking Game as I wanted to be able to focus when Doctor Who came on, but - like the scapegrace I so obviously am - I've continued to watch it. Now we come to the 49 minute mark, in the scenes where Clint and Richard are being taken away in a car, guarded by 4 beefy Germans -
Go on, count 'em! |
Clint lying low |
Then, when the car is being pushed down a handy ravine, it explodes. There is no apparent reason given for this, except perhaps "It's in the script", and it's fortunate for our heroes that they didn't pause about getting rid of that car -
No, Vulnavia, it does not "catch fire", it explodes in a massive fireball that means the funerals will be closed-casket:
The definition of an old banger |
And Whilst On The Subject
- of having no idea, take a look at this:
The Twits have excelled themselves here, if by "excelled" I mean "having got it so spectacularly wrong that they have actually sailed over the edge of the world and are now falling endlessly through space". Conrad actively avoids playing computer games as they are i) Horribly addictive if well done and ii) Extremely time-consuming because of i). That's the first thing. The second is that Conrad has precisely 0% interest in football*. Perhaps the cap on this post is that Conrad does not know what a football manager does, is not interested in finding out, and would likely lash out with murderous rage if forced to play a football manager computer game.
"Contumely"
How very apt that this word popped into my head whilst washing dishes. It means "harsh or abusive language or behaviour" and is considered obsolete. Not when there are Football Manager Computer Game to lambast it isn't!
As with everything, it has Latin roots, the "Con" meaning "with" and "Tumere" meaning "To swell". From there we move to "Contumelia" and then Old French "Contumelie" and finally Middle English and "Contumely", which is what Football Manager Computer Game Tweets deserve.
It's not better, it's worse! |
Moving on from strident animosity, Conrad will divert and entertain you with more crude satire foisted upon the film industry. Don't fret, they're big boys, they can take it.
BRUNT:"Don't underestimate a man who can take it on the nose"
BOOK LYN:"Available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and christenings"
KILL YOUR FIENDS: "He's having the very devil of a time!"
THE SUNNER: "Bringing light into everyone's lives."
I admit the BRUNT one is a bit weak, it's just been very difficult to find a way to mock BURNT without being tasteless or NSFW**.
Quiver With Fear!
"Lift Rock For Idiots"*** gets one step closer to existence! The Skreeming Voles were all fiction, LRFI threatens to become real. Potential track title lifted from the television channel guide: Tower Vertical Rotisserie Grill.
By the way, here's the very first set of lyrics I composed for the Voles:
Toxic to voles! Toxic to voles!
We're going to squash squirrels
And stamp on your moles -
Toxic to voles! Toxic to voles!
And at the bottom of the page came the claim: "This came out of my head all on it's own. I'm just naturally gifted, aren't I?"Your views may vary.
A vole. You'll have to imagine the screaming, sorry. |
* His ignorance in these matters is always seen as hilarious at work.
** This is BOOJUM! not Frankie Boil, ta very much.
*** The band I keep threatening to create
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