Dangerous Dining!

Or, Eating As Usual For Conrad
If you have been reading this collection of nonsense for any length of time, you will know that your humble scribe has a stomach that can cope with everything short of nuclear fuel rods.  Active nuclear fuel rods, of course - spent ones no problem.  Francine, back at my old employer, said I needed to leave my body to science after I pass away, in order for them to unlock the unholy secrets of my internal organs.
     Well, reminiscing is fine and dandy, but there is a blog to complete so let us crack on.
     Here I am -

Me.  Just so we're clear.

     - and I am indeed drinking remaindered beer, eating remaindered sushi and eating a date-expired ciabatta roll filled with date-expired salami.

     I was thinking of leaving the sushi to mature for a day or two, until remembering I was hungry.

Excuse me, The Gun Battle in "Where Eagles Dare" has just started and it's a little hard to concentrate.  Oh - what a convenient link -

Where Eagles Dare And Conrad The Continuity Bore Is Still Hard At Work
I hope you understand and appreciate the sheer hard work and effort involved in picking holes in films, especially thick-ear thrillers that Conrad loves dearly and has already watched dozens of times.
     Anyway, whilst the incredibly complicated quintuple-cross scene is played out in Schloss Adler's impressive Gothic dining hall, our hero Richard asks the German colonel (played by the ever-excellent Anton Diffring) to ring the radio room and ask for a phone call to be put through, thus:

"It's called a telephone, Colonel.  Hideous twentieth-century technology, I admit, but it doesn't bite."

     The plot hole here is that the sinister Lieutenant Schaeffer (Clint) has already visited the radio room, and killed both people he found there.  That's Clint for you.  He meets you, he doesn't like you, five days later you're getting buried.

I shall leave this small as it's a bit bloodthirsty

     It's not until much later that we discover Schloss Adler has two radio rooms.  So - what if the Colonel had rung the wrong one?  Eh?
     Conrad: hair-splitting pedant for your education.

You WHAT?!
I know I have frequent recourse to invective when it comes to "Suggested Posts" on Facebook, as the Foobs really turn bumbling incompetent inappropriateness into an art form, yet today marked a new low.  Or perhaps high.  Definitely nothing in-between about it.
     Let me provide you with a little cultural background.  Back in the late Seventies an appalling film called "Grease" became immensely successful, proving that taste and discretion amongst you humans are horribly variable qualities.  Conrad, heavily into Prog, Punk and New Wave at the time, loathed it with a passion that burned brighter than the heart of the Sun.
     What do I see today?

17 things? 

     I would like to point out that I hate, HATE, HATE musicals.  This is a musical.  I have never seen it and never intend to - much like "The Sound of Music" or "Chicago".  At no point in my allotted span have I ever, ever, ever manifested a wish to see any of this film or it's songs.
     WHY, FACEBOOK, WHY!?

Doctor Who - The Zygon Inversion
Well well well, who's a clever Conrad then*?  I did point out that "The Zygon Invasion" last week was rather a blunt title, and - I was right, as you can't impress your audience with an Inversion unless you've had an Invasion first.
     I'm not going to critique the whole episode, as that would be time-consuming for me and pretty dull for you.  Salient points are:  Clara awakening to what seems to be a dream, or an interactive hallucination, and helping to save both The Doctor and Osgood.
     Who steals a van.  I wrote "there's a pun there" - Osbad?

Osgood.  Making geeks look rather winning (nice scarf!)

     As I predicted last week, Kate Stewart is not dead.  "This thing works two ways" comments a character, and it does indeed, as Kate manages to kill more Zygons on her own than the rest of UNIT put together.  She was pretending all along!

Kate Stewart.  Mixes a mean martini, cooks a superb souffle, raises prize-winning lobelias.
Also, kills bad guys.

     Now, the crux of the situationand the plot is that there are two "Osgood Boxes", each with two buttons that will either blow up the planet or supply people with endless cups of tea with milk and two sugars.  Sweet-and-low for those on a diet.  The Doctor and Osgood and Kate, and some Zygon rebels and the not-Clara** end up not pressing any buttons, at which The Doctor mutters " - just like the other fourteen times".

Osgood, Fox.  Close enough

     Doctor!  Really!  You arranged the ceasefire between the pizza-skins and humans and it's broken down FOURTEEN times?  What on earth is the body count thanks to your ineptness?  I should say <Mister Hand intervenes to prevent a ninety page rant>
     Also, a thing that made my flesh creep, Kate Stewart describes Harry Sullivan's Z-67 as "Zee Sixty Seven".  Excuse me?  EXCUSE ME?  That's "ZED Sixty Seven".

Conrad, spitting venom at this crass pandering to the South Canadian market!

     ZED ZED ZED!
     Or, ZZZ, meaning (as Zebedee would have it) - time for bed.


* Me.  Just so we're clear.
** Whom I spotted well before the reveal last week.