Right - About Marmite -

I Apologise If This Is New And Strange
First, as part of BOOJUM!'s remit to educate people, Conrad must explain what "Marmite" is.
     Art?

Marmite, in the jar and on the toast

     Marmite is yeast extract, looks like semi-solid treacle (molasses to you South Canadians), is veggie and vegan safe, very very savoury and polarises opinions, as you either love it or hate it.
     Conrad regularly dines of a cup of hot Marmite in the morning, which has gotten around the office, as Alex asked me this afternoon if I were eating Marmite.
     'No,' I replied, it being a good six hours since breakfast.  The culprit turned out to be Pete's bag of crisps, and being the big kid that he is they were probably Monster Munch.
     'Isn't that an insect?' enquired Stacey.  'You know, Marmite.'
     I paraded my pot in front of her, proof that it didn't have six legs and pincers, yet Stacey insisted.
     'They eat wood,' she persisted.
     'TERmites,' I laid before her.  'You're thinking of termites.'

Thermite, eating metal.  Close enough.

     Next, Rachel wanted a sniff of the stuff, rapidly wrinkling her nose.
     'That's rank!" she said.  Spread on bread I'd agree, as I only ever drink it.
     There you have it.  Marmite.


A Grade-A Grey Day
I love being able to say this to people, watching their faces wrinkle in puzzlement about what the hell the big white whiskery chap is talking about.
     This:

That's a big bin wrapper, not a dead snowman

     I think you have to agree that this day has a definite touch of grey about it.  Thus, it is a grey day.  Not going too fast with these radical concepts, am I?
     However, during the afternoon the clouds did sport a little differentiation instead of being an Uniform Grey Layer.  Making the grade, you might say.  Grade A, in fact.
     When you say them out loud, of course they sound exactly the same, meaning I have to explain how extraordinarily clever I am in making up this phrase.
     Of course, I could be over-thinking this a bit ...

More On Matters Munchy
I've still not eaten this stuff.  Anyway, I wanted to share the hilariously ironic packaging:

     Of course you'd boast about having "Real Honey" in your product.  What I want to see are all the wretched pushers of popcorn provender who dare to use "Fake Honey" in their goods.  Where are they?  Let them appear before me and grovel in abasement*!

The Metro
You must think Conrad is lapsing into middle-aged senility as he's not been ladling boiling oils upon the Theme: TRO** for as much as two or three days.
     Well excuse me for having a social schedule, and a life beyond these electronic pages.  Not much of one, I admit, but still, it's there.
     Okay, enough maudlin self-pity.  Let us look at "60 Seconds", from a few days ago, and Hay Pesto!  I recognise that chap.  Nicholas Hoult, you know, "Nux" from "Mad Max", shortly to be appearing in an "X Men" fillum too.

Nick the nice and Nux the nasty

     Now, me being a splitter of hairs right down to the seventy-sixth division, personally I would call him a jobbing actor rather than a celebrity.  In this case I'll let it ride, but - I'm warning you, Metro! - don't exaggerate like this again.
     Whoops, too late.  I have only looked at the back pages of The Metro twice, yesterday and today, because the screaming banner headline "BAN THEM" caught my eye.

     As you surely know by now, what Conrad knows about sport could be written on the back of a microdot and leave room for the collected works of Shakespeare, the Encyclopedia Brittanica and The Best Of Kilgore Trout.  So, did this eye-popping title refer to some arcane and fusty sporting term, an action carried out by the man at Silly Mid On?
     Nothing so interesting or involving.  No, it is a knee-jerk reaction to allegations of doping by Russian athletes at the 2012 O l d zzzzzzzzzzzzz
                                                                                    zzzzzzzzzzzz
                                                                                                        zzzzzzzzzz 
     OH!  Sorry, dropped off there.  I had this weird dream that I was writing about sports and it caus w wc we 
                              zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


A Proud Father Writes
I haven't gone into my love for good bad films very much here at BOOJUM! as there is only so much abuse that readers will put up with.  I first fell for this trope back in the mid-Eighties when Channel Four allowed the Medved Brothers to host a series of really, really bad films.  "Godzilla Versus The Smog Monster" I remember with affectionate horror.  "Plan 9 From Outer Space", too, back when it was still fairly obscure.
     Well, my Darling Daughter has gone on to not only watch bad films, but to organise Bad Film Watching Events.  The evidence herein:

The bit in the middle

     "Birdemic" and "Troll 2", neither of which I have seen, so the teacher may go humbly to the student and ask what they were like.



* Or just apologise a bit
**  Theme: Total Rubbish Output.  I'm frightfully clever at this, aren't I?