BOOJUM!: Picture Me, Distracted

Normally, Not Difficult
However, your humble scribe becomes a model of efficiency and -

"Robot versus the Aztec Mummy"
Let's see if this comes up as the default picture on Facebook, eh?

- oh no, forgot to brew my second pot of tea, hang on please -

Right, that's the pot brewing. Where was I? Oh yes, shooting myself squarely in the foot about how focussed and deliberate I am when writing BOOJUM! Normally, anyway.
As I mentioned, Distraction arrived in the shape of Edna, with her squeaking plastic bone.

It's one of those ones that is hollow, with a squeaker built in, so that when the hound bites down, it squeaks. Since she's not getting attention from anyone else, she came to pester me.
"EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh"
'Dog Buns!*" quoth I. "Go away Edna, I'm a busy man.'
"EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh-EEH-eeh"
I'm afraid I shall have to resort to rhyme.

"Edna! Remove your squeaking bone!

I do not like it's horrid tone.

Kindly leave me all alone,

With my generic ice-cream cone."

In fact I had the ice-cream cone for breakfast. Still, it rhymes.

The Haul
Normally this consists of a clutch of books, DVDs and CDs, so today I'm going to mix it up and show you this lot -

No need to detail it now, you'll get a detailed breakdown and analysis more thorough than you could want, believe me.

"The Metro"
- reads my notebook. For once, Conrad is not throwing insults, venom or brickbats. This week "60 Seconds" had Olga Kurylenko as the person promoting a picture. Conrad approves for the astonishingly shallow reason that she's good to look at and was, I think, Vesper Lind in - er - that recent James Bond film. "Quantum of Solace"?

Olga

I confess I confuse her with Vera Farmiga, another looker who possesses cheekbones sharp enough to shave with.

Proof of Conrad's poor eyesight

Now, don't go away or fall over, because Conrad has a second positive thing to say about The Metro - whoops, steady there, better sit down.
This is under the heading of "Connect" and is an interview with Dara O'Brian, whom you probably know as a comedian but who also holds a degree in Maths and Physics, which consists of lots more maths. What price those jokes about stupid Irishmen now? He has intelligent things to say about computer games, astronomy, making rain and why we you haven't gone to Mars yet.

Speaking Of Astronomy -
Tee hee.

I didn't actually buy the Mars bar today, it's just there to tie in with Dara.
You may not realise it, yet the "Milky Way" and "Galaxy" are exactly the same.
Yes, really! The "Milky Way" - or "Milk Weg" in Dutch - is the common name for our home galaxy. "Galaxy" being derived from the Greek for "Milk".

Excuse me whilst I go pour a cup of tea.

More Of The Haul
Allow your ~~friendly amiable pleasant~~ grumpy old scribe to educate you a little about beer and ancient Rome.

As it says on the label, "Efes"

Modern-day Efes is in Turkey. Two thousand years ago it was known as "Ephesus" and resided in Asia Minor. Back then it was a port, although thanks to nature it is now miles inland. Conrad has visited the site, which is very impressive. If you go, take plenty of water as there's very little shade.
Then there's this -

It sounded weird, which always gets my attention, and possibly disgusting, which also gets my attention. Only whilst on the way back home did I read the ingredients, which include raw cocoa, vanilla pods and wheat oats. By the looks of it, a little tar and liquorice, too. I shall get back to you on how it tastes!

You What?
As you have surely realised by now, Conrad lives in a state of barely-suppressed rage, except when he reads The Metro, in which case people on the bus move to other, more distant seats so as not be sat near the twitching, muttering explosion-of-wrath so clearly waiting to happen.
Thus I was delighted to come across this "Sponsored Post" on Facebook.

"Delighted" because it ALLOWS ME TO VENT MY SPLEEN!
I do not want to see or hear about yet another Sixties compilation because those times were FIFTY DOG BUNS YEARS AGO! Move on - embrace the present, look to the future and all the splendid music being produced NOW instead of having a parade of shop-worn songs that have been played to death and beyond already.

Whilst On The Subject -
- that is, of things that annoy me**, may I mention "Strictly Come Dancing"? Okay, the joke is over and you can stop pretending that this show really exists, Conrad is calling your bluff.

Conrad hates dancing, so here's an Arrow anti-ballistic missile missile

"Every Step Appears As The Inevitable Consequence Of The Preceding One"
I believe this phrase was coined by that icon of the Sciences, Albert Einstein. The thing is, Alb old chap, what about that very first step? There aren't any steps preceding that one, are there?