Fearless Fred Of First Bus

I Know What You're Thinking
 - don't worry, that's only a metaphor, not telepathy*.  "Surely all the public-facing employees of First Bus need to be fearless, for, sooth, they deal with the public on their public service vehicles.  When they turn up."
     True enough.
     Er, this is going to sound as if I'm milking the Very Late Bus Event of last week, which is only incidental.  I request you imagine the scene - it is wazzing down**, night, cold, windy and wet and the 24, 181 and 182 have not turned up, leaving a long, long queue of damp, annoyed potential passengers.  Only our basic English civility prevents the calling of oaths and strong language.
     Into this most unwelcoming environment walks a young man in a First Bus hi-vis jacket, jauntily going without an umbrella or hat, carrying an electronic device.  I didn't catch his name so I'm dubbing him "Fred" as I don't know any Fred's and it's a name in search of a person.
     'Are you here in an official capacity?' I asked, in my best Received English.  Fred assured me he was.  He checked on the 24, which was "just round the corner", but the 181 and 182 were still inbound.
     Candid and enquiring, Fred checked in with Hell Central HQ of First Bus and got no explanation as to why the buses were running late.  "They've not told me why," he told us.  Clearly knowledge is power and HQ needed it to keep the microwave and kettle going.
     I moved to get a better view of incoming buses and left others to tackle Fred, who remained irrepressibly cheerful despite the surly customers and the rain.  That's public service for you; in which case First will probably fire him tomorrow.
     Three cheers for Fred!


You What?  Really, WHAT?
I keep on harping about the inappropriateness of "Suggested Posts" that keep getting thrown up by the Foobs and the Twits, but this one really takes the biscuit.  The whole packet, in fact:

George has a long moustache.

     I have no idea what this is, what it's about nor why it got suggested, as Conrad cannot read Chinese. Not only cannot read, cannot speak or write it and at no point in my posting have I ever evinced a wish to be sent posts in Chinese.

Then there's this drivel:

     They manage to spell "NASA" correctly and that's it.  For a start, this "news" is ten months old.  Then this is most certainly NOT the "first time in history something just came out of a black hole".  An illuminative link:

https://www.nasa.gov/press/2015/january/nasa-s-chandra-detects-record-breaking-outburst-from-milky-way-s-black-hole

     So.  One link I can't read, and another I can read but which is rubbish.  Bah!  My faith in humanity is shattered.

Faith In Humanity Restored
In a way.  You may remember yesterday that the post title included "Trumpets"?  This did not escape some sharp-eyed folks, and Conrad got a Notification on Twitter, thus:

     This hasn't translated into hordes of trumpet-playing Twitter readers becoming followers of Conrad*.  But we can but hope!

Z Nation
Currently watching Episode 9 of Season Two and Roberta actually mentions Citizen Z, so perhaps he's due a comeback.
     I did spot a sly science-fiction reference they threw in - get this screenshot of our intrepid band of Murphy-escorts:

     - and now compare it with an iconic screenshot from "The Thing From Another World":

The Arctic isolation did strange things to men's minds: Formation Ice-Skating

     Well it made me laugh.
     In this episode they're taking great relish in mocking Roswell's UFO history***.

Tocopherol!
Not only tocopherol, but Tocopherol Ace Tate!
     I know this sounds like a Doctor Who villain being faced off by Ace after she got married and changed her maiden name, which would take a bit of doing as she's a very headstrong lass and might jib rather at having to adopt the name of her -
     Sorry, "Tocopherol Acetate".
     Ah.  So.  This is actually Vitamin E, mucked about a bit.  It goes into a lot of skin products as it gets absorbed into the skin very easily, and it's an acetate since this is less acidic, with a longer shelf life.
     Hmph.  Reality, you are boring.

"No, Ace, when I said I'd like a "banger" I meant - oh never mind."

Meanwhile, Back At Strategic Rocket Forces Base Number Sixteen, Novi Palatinsk -
As I have mentioned, the Colonel in charge of this base is an idiot who only got where he is thanks to family connections.  Thankfully there is no need to worry about him launching the SS20's in his charge, as his deputy also has to insert and turn a key, and Major Lermontov is clever enough for both of them, with a bit left over.
       What does this have to do with our heroes Misha and Grisha, those stalwart Missile Operations Officers?  Well, Misha was charged with getting back late from leave.
     Getting back late from leave, and being drunk.
     Getting back late from leave, and being drunk, and having a bag of marijuana.
     Getting back late from leave, and being drunk, and having a bag of marijuana and a collection of glossy Dutch magazines that are extremely rude.
     So, he got punished like this:

"Eight hundred thousand five hundred and seventy two -"

     You see, if power is cut to the base's missile silos, there is a back-up emergency pneumatic system that lifts the hundred-tonne lid.  This means a soldier has to pump the footplate one million times.  One of the crueller sports at Base Sixteen is trying to get anyone doing this pumping to lose track of their count.






* Yet.
** I'm being street here.  "Raining heavily".
*** If only they knew the truth ...