I'm taking Dan's word for it about the above.
Now, as has become standard for posts of late, I am going to divert the Argus-eyed hamster scrutineers over on Facebook by posting a bit of random drivel*, in order to allay their suspicions.
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| I can answer that - |
Even more surreal was the conversation held briefly with Alex and Katie yesterday, about milk.
"Would you drink pig's milk?" asked Katie, to a look from Alex. A look that said "NO!"
"How about goat's milk?" tried Katie again. Still no, but not in uppercase.
"What about rabbit's milk?" tried Katie again. This girl doen't just think outside the box, she ought to be in one -
- at which point Conrad interrupted to point out that getting enough rabbit's milk to drink would be a daunting task indeed.
"Not as tricky as squirrel or weasel milk," he finished. Which finished the conversation.
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| Good luck milking one of these, Farmer Giles. |
Dr. Mental's Meathead Fist Force
Er - once again, apologies for this bizzare anagram turning up in the blog. It must be twenty years since I invented it, and I cannot remember any longer what the original was - although it might have been to do with the Careers Service***.
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| There is NO WAY you can get a picture of Doctor Mental and his Meatheads. So here's a picture of a vat of mercury |
"Procrastination"
You may - or may not, for the youth of today do little but tinker with mobile phones - be familiar with the saying "Procrastination is the thief of time".
What is procrastination? Call it putting off the unpleasant by dealing with the entirely un-necessary but pleasant. Here at the Mansion this would be Conrad cutting the grass, deftly weaving in between the triple-dannert barbed wire and the mines, rather than having to clean out the Lower Dungeon, where there are spiders.
| "Those detained learned to cross their legs. For days." |
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| Cutting the lawn at the Mansion |
This is a complement to "Compline", which was the last religious service of the day. Vespers is the sunset evening prayer service, also known as evensong. It's roots are actually Greek, rather than Latin. "Hespera" is the Greek for evening, which is rendered "Vesper" in Latin.
Dan, nosey as a bagful of cats, happened to be walking past whilst Conrad was busy researching the term.
"There's a cocktail called a Vesper," he chirped^, "From the character in James Bond."
Conrad frowned and reached for his bamboo skewer - for whose blog is it? Then he realised there would be too many witnesses.
| Vespas. Close enough. |
Statistics!
Don't worry, nothing very heavy, just that BOOJUM! is two hits away from 9,000 visitors! In fact by the time you read this, YOU may be visitor number 9,000.
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| Proof that there indeed are lies, damned lies and ... |
JD Sports
This isn't politics, nor current affairs, but - Advertising!
Today Conrad walked past a poster declaring JD themselves to be the "Undisputed King of Trainers".
On what fantasy do they base this assertion?
For a start, Conrad, determined to be as awkward as possible, immediately disputes their claim. I suspect people like Converse would, too.
Not Nike - she's female.
A Sly Peek At Tomorrow
Conrad was baking last night and blending tonight: the ginger biscuits last night, the lemon buttercream tonight.
Gluten-free, nut-free, veggie-safe but alas full of butter - there is a hint in the "Buttercream" and you can't use marge instead.
ZenIT St. Petersberg
Ah yes, that most definitively Eastern of philosophies, Zen.
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| The Zen symbol. |
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| I.T. |
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| - because nobody's heard of any cities in Siberia |
What's that? There's an internationally known football team called "Zenit St. Petersburg"?
How strange the laws of chance!
* NO! BOOJUM! is not composed entirely of - well, okay, you have a point. But don't push it.
** This might get me into trouble with Anna. Hey, comedy demands sacrifices!
*** Mister Hand gleefully points upwards to that crack about "random drivel"
^ Literally. Sometimes he trills, sometimes he cheeps, but he is always squawking.
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