Everton

Forsooth, Aye!
But!  First we must put off the hamster detectives who scope out your social media before you post it, and who try to turn your Roman candle into a wet paper bag for all the bang it has after their censorship, the weevils* of evil -
     - sorry, where was I?
     Oh, yes, the random post and picture in the Intro, intended to subtley bypass the rodent police.
     Today we have -
     "Bokmal".
     NO, it is not the name of a minor member of the legions of Hell!
     It is Norwegian for "Book Tongue" and refers to the language used by @ 90% of the Norwegians.  It is counterpointed by "Nynorsk", which is a minority language also known as "Hognorsk", which sound far more interesting.  Apparently Hognorsk is spoken in Vestlandet, which a puzzled Conrad would assume meant the whole country, as you won't get far without a vest in Norway**.

Hog norks.  Close enough.

"Vnimanie!"
Yes, it's Russian.
     Another of those words that happen to pop up in Conrad's brain with no explanation.
     What does it mean?
     "Attention!"
     SO, if you happen to be travelling into Saint Petersburg to watch Zenit St Petersburg play***, and the customs official barks the word above at you, whilst pointing at your suitcase, he's not asking how you got such a nice shine on the patent leather.

Russian traffic warden.
"No ticket?  YOU DIE!"

Well Done Metro!
Of course the chip-shop wrapper can't take any credit, it's all down to my stinging criticism.
     I know, I know, I can tell what you're thinking, but if he were called "Charles Waltz" that would be ever so s - Sorry, what's that?  You were wondering why Conrad is not lambasting the Metro around the head with a virtual baseball bat?
     Two reasons.  The first is:

The National
(The band, not the paper.  Do keep up!)

      The article is about The National, whom Conrad likes.  He has 3 of their CDs so he had better like them or he's gone peculiar.  "High Violet" is the best of the 3, and it does feature that incredibly catchy tune "Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks", which is mentioned in the article above^.

      Secondly:

      That's Chris Pine, who was resplendent as Captain Kirk in both the recent Star Trek movies; after all, you have to move on from Canada's most famous son^^, although saying this probably risks Conrad being run out of town on a rail^^^.
     However, the article is there as a plug for a film that Chris appears in - "Horrible Bosses 2"

"Horrible Bosses 2"
OH GOOD LORD! 
     Sorry for the melodrama, but - seriously?  "Horrible Bosses" was so successful it merits a sequel?
     Conrad actually has to state that his Boss's Boss's Boss, and his Boss's Boss's Boss's Boss are both friendly and approachable, and that amongst the more immediate merely Bosses, there are a couple of hotties~.  Not naming any names, because that'll keep them guessing <snickers wickedly>
     But, still - "Horrible Bosses 2"???

Look Out!  It's Clarissa the Cannibal Combat Chicken!

     The future of warfare - coming to a cinema near you!  Tagline "The Freak with a Beak - hear her SHRIEK!"
     Which Conrad feels is more inspiring and insightful than any amount of Horrible Bosses.

A New Addition To The Family
Not before time, either.  Conrad has recently found that his dirt-cheap calculator is become unreliable - enter "37 x 15" and you get results like "857 raised to the seventh power over Pi", or a screen consisting of "0.00000000" regardless of which buttons you press, then push, then punch.

     It doesn't have particularly large boots to fill, but one does hope it remains rational.  
     More rational than either BOOJUM! or Conrad, at least.

Everton Mints
Yes, because Conrad has done the weekly shopping, and he likes mints a lot, and so he bought some, and the proof is here:

     Conrad would be shocked - Shocked! - if it turned out that there was a football team that had - O there is ... 
     How strange the laws of chance!

* At last!  Another unloved creature beginning with the letter "W"!  Conrad was almost ready to move on to the letter "X", which is going to be a bit problematic.
** Mister Hand, ever the voice of sanity and reason, points out that "Vest" is Bokmal for "West".
*** They are a football team, apparently.
^ They must have read my review.
^^ William Shatner.  Do keep up!
^^^ This is not the same as being run out of town by rail, or electric tram even.
~ Sorry, Phil, not you.