Real Madrid

But Of Course!
Meanwhile, let us distract the hamster overseers of Facebook* with a bit of sleight of hand.  Today Conrad was on a late shift - of which more anon - and his routine on one of these days is to get in early, get a double espresso, peruse The Metro and work up stuff for BOOJUM! since there will be limited time later on -
     - you're not snoring, are you?  You'd better not be, this is gripping stuff.  Gripping, I tell you!
     - anyway, here is the scene of domestic bliss:

Double espresso: concentrated caffeine in a cup.

     And just out of shot in the table above is my manager's manager's manager, busy plotting mischief with a shopworker.  Hopefully along the lines of "A bottle of Prosecco for each of my staff!" - but we shall see.

True Desperation
Spotted in the work's kitchen this morning:

      Yes, that is a knife, and no, there weren't any teaspoons in the kitchen.  Later that afternoon there weren't any cups, either.
     Personally, I blame the hamsters.

Farewell Big Giant Crane
Our long-time companion, Big Giant Crane, is being dismantled as I type.  Big Giant Crane is so enormous that it needs a Giant Crane to dis-assemble it, viz:

Note smug-looking jib crane in the background

     Gone the way of The Screaming Voles.

888 Casino
Conrad saw this on the side of a bus and wondered - it's not internet-enabled gambling, it it?
     Yes it is.

888?  It should be 666!

     Internet gambling!  The new, convenient way to lose money - as fast as possible!
     Conrad, being keen to keep his money very close to him, does not gamble; the odds are against you.  When was the last time you saw a casino go bust?

"Penguins"
Another bus poster, and again I must review according to the Rules Of Boojum!  These are quite simple:  1)  NO looking anywhere on the web for anything whatsoever to do with the film  and 2)  Leaping in headfirst with wild and literal interpretations is the way to go.
     So.  
     Once again, what an unutterably dull film!  How can this run for 90 minutes?  A documentary about chocolate biscuits might manage 10 minutes on a good day.  Away with you!

P - P - P - P - P - Oh I give up.  Have a Penguin

I Warned You
O but we had fun on the bus this morning**.  And this evening**.
     Firstly, it was early.
     Fortunately so was Conrad.  You can't trust First Buses to turn up on time, so I was at the bus stop ahead of schedule.
     Next, the 181 bus ahead of us had broken down, so we took on all that one's passengers, which obviously - obviously! - further delayed us.
     What do we pass on the A59 into Manchester?
     No! Not a circus of dancing weasels***.
     Another broken-down First bus.  Conrad can thus accurately amend First Bus's promotional tagline:  "First Bus!  Late, slow, overcrowded - and now with added Broken Down!"
     You may not recall that "Bus" is a contraction of the original name for these public service vehicles - "Omnibus".  Latin, don't you know - meaning "For All".  This must explain why First try to fit three or four bus-worths of passengers into each motorised sweat-lodge.

"Flippy the waltzing weasel!"
(also eats bus drivers)

Z Nation
This has promise, but, really!  Harold Perrineau's character -"I'll just go into this ZOMBIE INFESTED building, ON MY OWN in order to carry out a COMPLETELY POINTLESS action and OH I GOT BIT!"
     He went in alone because the other softies couldn't bring themselves to shoot a zombie baby.
     What happens after he gets bit?
     Why, his erstwhile comrades have absolutely no compunction about shooting the baby then, and Mr Perrineau as well.
     I got my eye on you, Z.

Z Nation.  Close enough.

Real Madrid
First of all, this Madrid is not real:

It's a cartoon skyline!

     Now that we've established a fiction baseline, let's have the real thing:

The real thing

     I hope this important glimpse into what is physical and concrete is -
     What's that?  There's a football team called Real Madrid?
     Who knew!

Coincidence - Or Hamsters?
Yesterday Carol, as one of her General Knowledge questions, asked "Which is the only town in the UK to have an exclamation mark after it's name?"
     Sadly the Mansion does not yet have official status as a separate Principality within the County of Greater Manchester^, so the answer BOOJUM! is incorrect^^.
     No, the answer is - Westward Ho!  And Carol is right, because Conrad - his mind works that way, you know - went and checked the Atlas.
     Today, what store is on the form I have to input?
     No!  Not Nether Wallop!
     Westward Ho - minus an exclamation mark.  The odds of that are 2,500 to 1.
     Er - Phil?  Care to comment?

"It is nothing to do with hamsters Conrad nothing at all  you are hallucinating seek medical help now -"
OH MY GOD!  It's a PKD ROBOT^^^!  

That's my hour of composition up.  Time to go pimp the puerile preposterous prose!

* Hamsters.  Who secretly run everything.
** "Fun" in the sense of grey despairing misery.  That kind of fun.
*** Although that would be pretty cool ...
^ But we're working on it, don't you worry!
^^ But still cool.
^^^ Probably being run by - hamsters.