Bolton Wanderers

Oh Yes Indeed By Crikey!
But, as is becoming a habit here, first Conrad must divert and distract the Facebook hamster scrutineers with a bit of sleight of hand.

Clowns and outer space - two frights for the price of one

  Conrad hasn't seen this piece of cheese for perhaps thirty years, and wonders how well or how badly it will hold up.  Be certain that you will be informed and probably in a whole lot more detail than you ever wanted.

No Teaspoons In The Kitchen!  Panic!
I should explain that I refer to the kitchen at work.  When in the old office building we had as many as 2, 3 or even 4* teaspoons across the floor.  Now we are lucky to have one across an even bigger floor.
     Where do they go?  Nobody knows.  Perhaps they migrate south for the winter?

Look!  South wasn't far enough for the spoon's - every one's gone to the Moon!

     One lady in the kitchen today, making cups of coffee for several people, bewailed the fact that she'd been forced to make the coffees using a fork.
     This, obviously - obviously! - caused Conrad to recall that immortal line in "Black Books" where Manny calls a professional cleaning service because -
     "I'm eating scrambled egg - with a comb! - OUT OF A SHOE!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDCZmuo8Ws4&list=PLRWR3m_CRSf_LYCCYEIOzOjCLyJ_ybAw-
     There's a link to the series.
     


"Recalcitrant"
No! Nothing to do with stomach-settling medicine.  It means "Obstinate", especially with regards to authority."
     I know what you're thinking, but if they'd called it "Randall and Hopkirk (Snuffed It)" then that would have been disrespectful -
     - Oh!  Sorry, you were actually wondering where "Recalcitrant" came from?
     Latin, of course.  "Calx", meaning heel", is the root, altered over time into the Old French "Recalcitrare" and then to the English "Recalcitrant", which translates literally as "Kicking out with one's heels".
     So, if you have a recalcitrant dog, please don't call him to heel or you'll confuse him terribly.

Dog with seal  Close enough.

You're Barred!
Don't worry, you aren't really, it's just Conrad being hilariously funny.  It so is funny, I tell you!  It is!
     Allow me to illustrate:

Behold the Bars

     These are Chewy Monkey Bars, and I still don't know why they get called that**.  I had wanted a nice simple recipe to work on yesterday evening since the Pub Quiz was on at 9:00 and time was at a premium.
     Caution!  If making these again I will use half measures, because the Hummingbird one really needed a bucket to mix the ingredients in, there was so much of it.  I had to do it in three batches and mix with my hands since the spoon simply wasn't big enough.
     With no exceptions, everyone commented on how large the slices were.  Sue came out with some outrageously smutty-sounding comments that BOOJUM! simply cannot repeat.

Bolton Wand-erers
I think perhaps a bit of cheating is in order here.


   There you go.  Two witches - ladies who use wands and there's two of them so plural - on a broomstick, outside Bolton Abbey in Yorkshire.
     O, goodness gracious me!  I've just realised - this might be misinterpreted as being about that ballfoot team Bolton Wanderers.
     Wow, how strange the laws of probability.

Clowns ARE Scary***!
When taken out of context, of course.  And frequently in context, too.
     What's that?  You doubt the authority of Conrad?  Then - prepare TO BE TERRIFIED!
     Exhibit One:  Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's "It"

I think this proves my case instantly

     Exhibit Two: Zombie Clown from "Diary Of The Dead"

Happy!  Jolly!  Smiling!

Bitey!  Scratchy! Deadly!

     Exhibit Three: The Clown Doll from "Poltergeist"

All together now:  "He's behind you!"

     Exhibit Four: The Clown, from 2000 AD

Who's laughing now?

     Exhibit Five:  Insane Clown Posse

Lock up your daughters.  And sons. And wives.  To be safe, just lock up everyone ...

I rest my case.  Charlie Cairoli, you are the exception that proves the rule.

I Just Googled And -
This:

Awww!  In need of some TLC and chicken soup

     This, ladies and gentlemen and those undecided, is a Wereshark.
     Conrad is so happy!  Another unloved creature beginning with the letter "W"!


* I know!  Incredible, eh?
** No monkeys were harmed in the making of this confectionery.
*** See initial post.