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Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Guilty By Association

No!  Nothing To Do With Conrad And The Judicial System
It's a club, in Manchester, and my friend Ian had put it about that his band were playing there tonight, in a free gig.
     They weren't due to play until 8:45 at the earliest, which left a long hiatus between finishing work at 5:00.
     But, what's this?  There's a performance of "Interstellar" at the Printworks at 5:15?
     Don't mind if I do!
     Well, the gig didn't finish until 9:40 and it was then a dash to catch buses, and here we are - a mountain of material for the blog but no time to post it <sad face>
     Of course, tomorrow night there's the Pub Quiz to attend.
     Damn it, my social life is strangling the blog!  Anyway, I thought I'd cheat, blatantly, and cut and paste stuff from last year.  You might recognise it, if you've been here before, and I aopologise for that*; on the other hand, it may be new to you.

From Monday, 30th December 2013:

"You Young Whippersnapper!"
     To quote homely, family-safe exclamations from probably every episode of "Scooby Doo" ever made.
     My point here is that, given a normal existence, a young whippersnapper will inevitably grow up into an old whippersnapper.  Got that?  So at any given time there will be an equivalent amount of old whippersnappers knocking about, balancing out the young.  In this case, why is it so terrible to be a young whippersnapper, and couldn't the exclaimer be at risk of being a whippersnapper themselves?  if a bit old.  Consequently why do we never hear the insult "you old whippersnapper!".
" ... and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you young whippersnappers!  and the police, and the bloodhounds and the helicopter and the CSI people and the FBI and DEA ..."
From Friday 27th December:
Conrad's Day-long Skirmish With Food
     I needn't have bothered taking gluten-free cookies into work today - there was a considerable assembly of food remaining from Christmas Eve, all plonked rather conveniently next to my desk.  So!  First I exterminated a trio of mince pies, then went through a packet of breadsticks and four kinds of dip, used up a packet of ham, then finished another packet of ham rather than see it thrown out, ate a stollen bite, then a slice of real stollen, finished off the Gorgonzola, had some mature Cheddar slices, helped empty a tube of Pringles, had a tin of mackerel, a nectarine, a persimmon, two ham rolls, a tub of chilli cheese and a handful of carrot batons.
     I should have taken a before and after photo, shouldn't I?
     Conrad 5 Food 0

And finally from Sunday 8th December:
This Post Is Unusual
     Any regular reader of BOOJUM! will know that the world of sport appeals to Conrad not at all.  Until or unless the Olympics bring in Atom Bombing The Moon as a competitive sport, that's how things will stay.
     And yet ... friends on Facebook who are Manchester City fans are gloating at the performance of the football team Manchester United FC.  Apparently they are doing woefully, and I wondered - is this because their previous manager, Alex Ferguson, departed?  Or did he see the fall coming and jumped before he got pushed**?
     There.  BOOJUM!'s only sporting post in 163 bloggings.  Let us turn to a pundit for a sustained, critical analysis of the question.
Quite.
Rhodomontade
     Once again we dip our toes into the waters of the English language, shiver and hastily towel ourselves dry.
     "Rhodomontade" is, pretty obviously, a species of orchid from China, one that can move about like a triffid, but only at night, and it - again, pretty obviously - feeds on blood.
Exactly!
 But wait! the dictionary defines it as "boasting".  That's it?  Being vain?  Tish.  Reality, you are boring.

I'm glad I dug that last article up - Conrad wasn't sure if he'd explained what "Rhodomontade" was.

Tomorrow - hopefully some original matieral!

* A little


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