Swansea City

Yes, Indeed!
Look no further:

A Swan, the ea and a City.  Perhaps more a town that a city ...

     How pastoral and bucolic and tranquil!  Doesn't this just erase half the trouble of the working day?
     What's that?  There's a football team called Swanse City?  What an utterly unexpected coincidence!

"O Wad Some Power The Giftie Gie Us-"
 - " to see oorselves as ithers see us."
     That's Rabbie Burns, you know.  Generally Conrad hates poetry, detests it almost as much as The Metro, but on occasion it does provide the bon mot*.
     "Enough Scottish dialect!" I hear you exclaim. "Explain your peculiar assertion, Conrad, or shoe leather will surely connect with posterior!"
     Okay, don't be so violent!**
     I have today finished reading "Operation Sealion" by Robert Kieser.  Art Department?

Ta very much Mr. Department

     "Operation Sealion" was the intended German plan to invade Britain in 1940; what is interesting about this particular volume is that the author is German himself, and he picks out some interesting characteristics of your*** island race.  The British detest being put into lists (although those who disport themselves upon reality television might not), they dislike any kind of police registration scheme and positively froth at the mouth if the subject of identity cards come up.  Which has a peculiarly modern resonance!  The British love spy stories, crime and detective novels, and Conrad indeed loves all of these, so it must be true.
     Of course, the British love of their domestic pets comes into play.  This still stands true today - recall the blog "Manchester United", which proves this point by reference to the Manchester Dogs Home fire and it's consequences.

The Screaming Voles
Chipping Sodbury's finest angry young muso's changed track again in 1989, changing their name yet again, dropping the make-up, synthesizer and suits for tattooed knuckles and electric piano.  This is the period of their infamous "disappearing album", dubbed "Vole-ari".
     As bassist Biff Bunkum explained " - we had no idea what we were taking on.  "Volari" was just a cheap fizzy wine to us, something to take the mickey out of.  Well, it was made by an offshoot of Interbrew, the biggest brewers in the world.  They flattened us with injunctions, threatened to sue for millions and the label junked all the vinyl.  Ce la vie."
     Only a handful of review copies sent out to the music press survive, and exchange hands for literally thousands of pounds on the collectors market.
     
"Shriek like a squirrel!  Shriek like a squirrel!
We've exterminated ALL the rodents
Across the entire Wirrall!
Shriek like a squirrel!  Shriek like a squirrel!

A squirrel, shrieking, proving that it can be done

"Scrivener"
As is highly likely in a book dealing with the mid-seventeenth century, Conrad occasionally comes across unfamiliar words, as with "Scrivener".  John Milton's^ dad was a scrivener, so not un-naturally Conrad noted down the word.
     What does it mean?  "One who writes or reads for others for a living."
     Where does it come from?  You guessed, Latin.  From "Scriba" meaning "scribe", thence via the French "Escrivien" and to Middle English "Scrivein", only a hop, skip and jump to Scrivener.

The tools of the scrivener.
Conrad is jealous!

Rosie And Phil
No!  Not my Pub Quiz partners, although they, too are called Rosie and Phil.
     No, I mean the ESA probe "Rosetta" and it's robotic lander called "Philae".  Today the lander is confirmed as being stabilised on the surface of 67P, a comet.
     If - which should be taken as a matter of fact - If you have been following the blog you'll know that Rosetta had been hibernating for years before being initiated and directed to close in on the comet.

For a comet, it looks more like a lump of coal!

     Philae apparently bounced high on the first landing, bringing to mind Arthur C. Clarke's old joke about "Asteroid Olympics": calling a 1 kilometre rise off the surface rather redefines the concept of "bounce".  
     Herewith the link:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-30034060
     There you go, and don't forget there may be a test later.

Today's Metro-Malleting
Really!  What's this on the cover?  One of those single-name celebrities called "Sheryll" or somesuch, pronouncing "I don't care what size my booty is"
     Surprise, Chervyll, neither does Conrad!  In fact he does not care who you are, what you do or where you go, as long as it is 1)  Far away and 2) The media don't cover it.
     Incidentally, I think the police should be informed about Chavyll, because Conrad understands "booty" to be in the category of "looted or stolen possessions".
     More of a Troll Model than Role Model ...

Couldn't be bothered looking up Chloe

* French for "Something clever"
** That's my job ...
*** Can't include me here, I'm only a visiting alien.
^ The poet Milton, hack spit -