Showing Some Fortitude

Or, The Difference A Month Makes

Don't worry, nothing about orcs or Mordor beyond what Ol' Tolky wrote in this Intro.  There will, however - O how I love that word! - be oodles of pictures of warfare, because I have decided to make today's Intro all about a rather pivotal event.  Art!

     Yes, that is Matt Smith, who featured as the Eleventh Doctor's iteration in the BBC's premier dramamentary.  I have him here because 1) The ladies like his foppish hairdo and 2) IIRC, when watching "Doctor Who: The Monsters Are Coming" he made a point of explaining that the D-Day landings in Normandy of June 6th 1944 were a focal point in time that Man Must Not Interfere With.

     Now, back to "The War Illustrated".  Yes yes yes, this is an abrupt change of topic, it's how we roll here, get used to it, mental gymnastics are good for the mind.  As you should surely know by now, this magazine came out fortnightly, and there was always a delay between events occurring and them being reported.  None of this modern stuff where you get real-time updates.  The editors didn't want to risk the bally Hun getting any pukka gen.  Art!

This is the edition that came out on 9th June 1944.  As you may notice, there is a distinct lack of pictures or text about a gigantic amphibious landing on the French coast.  Quelle surpris.

     Well, now I've moved on in terms of editions and - Art!

     Perhaps the most significant thing on here isn't the presence of Sherman tanks and Bren Gun Carriers, and a 'Don R' (slang jargon for 'Despatch Rider', the chap on a motorbike) - it's the date.  Which I have helpfully blown up for you.  You're welcome.

     You see, not only was there a fortnight's delay in printing events, the fiendish folk making decisions in Perfdious Albion had a cover plan in place, which kept the Hun on the back foot.  Their entire Seventh Army was covering the French coast at Pas De Calais, where their Atlantic Wall was almost as formidable as their propaganda had it being.  This was the shortest Channel crossing and one that the Teutons were predisposed to expect a landing at.  Perfidious Albion was perfectly happy to keep them believing this, with a fictional "First US Army Group" lurking in the south of the country, under the command of General Patton.  Their other Big Lie was that Normandy was a diversion.  Art!

     There might have been suspicions about how large a 'diversion' this was if photographs such as these had been released a couple of weeks earlier.  The first photo shows demolition work going on in Port En Bessin, where a French tricolour flies over damaged housing.  Next below, to port, you see a British tank crew catching up on sleep or writing duties.  Notable in this and photo to starboard is the use of a helmet by tank crewmen, as in British armoured formations it was deemed to be effete and cowardly to use anything more stout than a black beret.  Which is why they suffered so many head injuries.  Last photo is of General De Gaulle, who was extremely cross that he wasn't in charge of the whole thing, because Grumpy was written into his DNA.  Art!

It's nice to see the Canuckistanians get credit.  In the first picture you get to see why the Panther tank wasn't all that wonderful; it was big, meaning it was easier to see and harder to hide, and thus easier to hit.  I can also guarantee that matey hanging around the engine deck will bitterly regret looking inside, especially if it's been brewed-up.

     The three cheerful chaps below are Canadians, who have, according to the blurb, just chased a bunch of Teutons out of this wrecked house.  Note the spike bayonet seated firmly on a rifle, implying that yes, they were involved in close-quarter fighting.  Note also that they use a hole in the wall to espy the land, rather than sticking heads out of cover.

     Next, to starboard, is a Vickers machine gun team getting ready to brass up their opposition; this is a later model gun with the muzzle-booster attachment to make the bullets fly even further and spread the joy more widely.  You can just see the Number Two's legs as he's helping with the belted ammunition.  And that curious object is a stereoscopic rangefinder, used to determine distances accurately; normally used with artillery, which implies the targets are very far off.

     Last picture is, of course, a Bren gun in action.

     Well, there you go, no mention of you-know-where or you-know-who.  Doubtless they will complain that this is wicked neglect, because misery loves company.

Undisputed Table-Wrestling Champion

 Mike's Likes

That's astrophysicist Mike Siegel to you, and another choice he had his dogs randomly select from his list of iconic spaceships.  Mike tends to classify fictional spaceships according to how utilitarian and practical they are, which may be amended a little depending on how he applies the "Rule Of Cool".  Next up - Art!

     Yes, it's the clunky and unglamourous mining ship "Red Dwarf" from the series of the same name.  Mike likes this one because it's clunky and unglamourous; it's a mining ship, not 'the flagship of the fleet' as he aptly puts it.  It travels for long periods of time over immense distances; it doesn't land on planets as it's much too large, and has the Starbug for that purpose.  Art!

     Not only that, this is one of that rare species, a good and successful comedy sci-fi show.  Conrad not going to argue with that.

"City In The Sky"

Ace and Terry are beginning to get an inkling of just what the Doctor wanted them to do, after his mysterious message to them before the alien jamming began.

     ‘Emilia, there is a general broadcast on varying frequencies blocking communications between the Americans Downstairs and both Washington and California.’ he began the instant he entered her rooms.  ‘I’ve been signalling with them via the laser.’

     ‘Yes, yes,’ she grumbled, stifling a cough.  ‘Never mind that - ’ which made his expression change from annoyed to surprised.  ‘What effect would dropping one of the Trojans into the Pacific have?’

     He swallowed nervily.

     ‘Ah – one of the Lagrange objects – into the Pacific? Oh, my -’

     ‘No!  Not the Pacific – the Great Australian Bight!’ interrupted Terry.  ‘Don’t you get it – “a right mouthful” means the Bight.’

     The astronomer looked thoughtful, clearly weighing up calculations mentally before speaking.

     ‘Hmm.  It wouldn’t be a “planet-buster”, as I believe the slang used to be.  Far too small; the Trojans aren’t large objects in terms of tonnage.  Still, it would impact on local hydrography  and severely affect regional weather.  Why?  Ah – it’s impact would create a column of superheated steam and water several miles high, hundreds of thousands of tonnes of water, and prevailing winds would probably carry a lot of that inland.  If it struck in relatively shallow water you might also get a small version of a tsunami that would inundate the shoreline.  All in all a very violent event.  Now, Emilia, why on Earth – ah, so to speak – would we want to carry out such a dangerous operation?’

     A very good question that isn't going to get answered today.  Soz!

Oz Because

Your Humble Scribe has begun reading the "Official History Of Australia In The War 1914 - 1918  Volume VII Sinai And Palestine" and so far it's all been about the Youhg Turks and how they turned out to be a band of bloodthirsty brigands.  Gallipolli has been and gone, and now Ockers are turning up in Egypt.  Art!

     Conrad found these units very interesting, as described in the British Official History about Egypt and Palestine, yet there's no entry for them in the Index that I can see.  Will I have to pony up £25 to sate my curiosity? <wallet squeaks in anguish>.  I wonder - is there an Osprey on this subject?  Seems like the kind of niche they'd approach with gusto.

 O I Say!

Yesteryon's blog dwelt in agonising detail on how a certain pariah of a country is having trouble exporting it's thin mineral slime abroad <coughPutincough>, and how this is causing economic mayhem at home <raucous cheers and claps from the balcony>.  Art!

     Hmmmm I can see a certain person trying to pull their hair out with rage, if they weren' bald already.  No I don't mean Yul Brynner.

     I expect Youtube pundits Jake Broe and Joe Blogs will fasten on this and do a much deeper dive than this passing whimsy.  Lay in your popcorn!

Finally -

The kind of weather has arrived that Conrad enjoys.  Which is to say, freezing cold but bright, sunny and above all DRY.

     Laterz!