Licence To Krill

Because There's Something Fishy Afoot

No!  Not that you've actually trod on a turbot or punted a pollock.  Dog Buns, is the metaphor an unknown literary form nowadays?  Okay, let us crack on lest Mister Hand, the treacherous appendage, starts to redact things.  Art!

     You may remember this opening scene, which always seemed peculiar to Conrad, as surely it would be more realistic (ahem 'realistic' and James Bond not realllllly words you associate together) to have the hostile POV to be down the gunsights, not the barrel?  Because th

     ANYWAY One of the things most closely linked to Jim is his status as an "00" classification agent, one whom has an officially-sanctioned Licence To Kill.  Art!

     There's a compact representation of murderous mayhem right there: nine of MI6's  finest killers and OF COURSE their faces aren't being shown.  Elementary security, you bafunes.

     That's fiction.  Some people have difficult separating it from fact, because MI6 does not, in real life, have positions where the agent can go about slaying left, right, centre, up, down, into the fourth dimension and back again with impunity.  Sadly for the blood and thunder brigade, the world of George Smiley is far more realistic, with endless bureaucracy and inter-agency squabbling and venal politicians and South Canadian Big Buck Envy.  Art!

- which is boring and unphotogenic, so here's this.

 
     If we cast our eyes to the satrapies of the East, where the mentality of the Mongol horde has never left their collective zeitgeist <pseudo poseur alert! courtesy of Mister Hand> then we do indeed find agencies such as the fictional GTC, who do indeed slay on behalf of their state.  What you might call the blunt instrument.  Art!

     Hilariously, these were a trio of - ha! - 'anti-corruption' agents.  That's them vanished into the gulags for a decade or two.  Gosh, I wonder how the rest of the FSB found out about this?  An anonymous tip-off?  From a burner phone?  Spoken in impeccable Ruffian?  With a suppressed snigger at the end?  Hmmmmm I wonder how this will affect FSB morale, knowing that they can be dropped in it from a mile high by Some Mysterious Entity Working Behind The Scenes.

     We now come down to the real meat of the matter in this Intro.  Art!

     It wouldn't take much for him to sink anything less than 15,000 tons displacement ANYWAY this is all part of Pumpkinhead's increasingly desperate attempts to avoid jail time.  His lawyers, a piratical crew of money-grubbing spotlight-hungry incompetents, have come up with a novel legal claim that a former or acting Prez of South Canada is immune to criminal prosecution.  Art!

Under their legal umbrella, argued the prosecution, it would be perfectly legal for a Prez to order the assassination of another person, and the Prez couldn't then be prosecuted or indicted.

     "Yes!" replied the Trump legal team, proudly squaring away their tinfoil beanies.  You can tell that Donald Buck is behind this ridiculous assertion, because he doesn't want his crepey bottom in a prison cell.  You can tell it's him as the driving force, because he's an idiot whom has not thought this through.  Art!

     That's the current Prez.  One imagines he has a bunch of Delta Force super ninja assassins on speed-dial.  Join the dots ...

Exotic Eastern Cuisine

No, not that far East.  Eastern Europe and countries bordering Mordor, only that far East -

     <excuse me, gotta go post today's Blog>

     Conrad, as ever a man who thinks with his stomach, has made a couple of Ukrainian recipes already: holubtsy, which are stuffed cabbage rolls, and a tomato and chicken bake.  

     For the first time, I've come across "Holodets", which is Ukrainian for "Aspic", and a couple of Brits being forced to eat it by Ukrainian girlfriends.  Art!

     It's a meat jelly containing vegetables and appears to be an acquired taste.  Very much an acquired taste, if this chap's expression is anything to go by.  Art!

     Okay, now you have Captain Stomach interested and intrigued.  Google be my friend ...

"City In The Sky"

The Doctor is requesting a 'sky-strike from heaven' as you might put it.  For reasons undetermined, and given the parlous state of things aboard Arcology One, it might be tricky to carry the request out.

     ‘You make it sound easy!’ she scoffed.  The astronomer bristled with professional ardour.

     ‘Anything but!  The greater the mass, the more energy needed to alter it’s orbit, and beyond a critical mass you’ll get an excessive fireball and blast wave that could cause extensive damage radiating out from the impact crater.  The greater the mass, the more chance of it hitting the water intact and causing earth tremors that would cause buildings to collapse.  Timing rocket’s firing will be critical or we’ll miss the Bight and maybe hit land, which – well, imagine it yourself.  Easy? Pah!’

     Emilia, soothing her aching throat with a spoonful of glycerine (no honey aboard a sphere with no bees), knew there were bigger problems than that.

     ‘Liam, we’re critically short of staff who can operate the Lunar Lander.  If we can operate it.  Nobody’s even been inside it for months and months, maybe a year.  We need to run a full systems check, go over the fuel capacity, do a short test flight – what is it, Ace?’

     The young woman had been shaking her head.

     ‘Mizz Branson, I don’t think we can’t delay very long.  If the Doctor warned us to do this rock-chucking, we need to do it soon because he doesn’t make suggestions like that lightly.  ’  Feeling cheeky at being so insistent, she impulsively added more.  ‘I’m EVA-qualified and I volunteer to go along.’

     A high-pitched beeping that ended with an insistent squawk came from Emilia’s Tab.  When she replied, a nervous technician replied.

     ‘Yes?  What is it?’

     ‘Ah, Mizz Branson, there’s an event taking place Downstairs you need to see.  Really, I know you’re ill, but you really should see this.’

     Ooo-err Matron!

Bring On The Big Ships

To continue with our occasional theme of gigantic Lego "Straw Warz" (sp), let me illustrate the point with evidence that some people have entirely too much time on their hands (yes this is irony laid on with a JCB).  Art!

      This, we are told, is a "Moff Gideon" cruiser and contains 800,000 pieces.  A cruiser, for your information, is a class of vessel able to travel beyond local environs and make long-distance voyages, whilst have a more then basic level of firepower.  Given the sheer scale of the thing, Conrad suspects it's been constructed in 1/48 Minifigs scale; or, if you like, they've taken a Minifig as built the whole thing around it.  The vlog that I picked this up on has no other information about the construction, so you'll merely have to be satisfied with a couple of pictures.  Art!

     Whoever was filming obviously had permission, as they're within the tape barrier, but they don't narrate anything, or get a look and see if there's any internal details.  Perhaps there aren't any, but it would be nice to know.  I may dig a bit further with this one.

The Pedantic Hairsplitter Triumphs Once Again

Conrad, as you may be aware, has been watching quite a bit of "Space 1999" of late, and has noticed a bit of an elephant in the room.  Art!

     You'll notice that these items call it "Alpha Moonbase".  Okay, fair enough, except the cast all call it "Alpha" or "Moonbase Alpha", which strikes Conrad as a bit of a divergence.  Which is it?  I DEMAND TO KNOW!

     Nor is that all.  Those marques and labels and signage all have it that this is not simply The Moonbase.  O noes.  This is the ALPHA MOONBASE of primary importance and role, that is if moonbases have an heirarchy of importance.  Having such a title implies that there is also a BETA Moonbase, because why else would you need to differentiate?

     Of course, I could be overthinking this .....

Finally -

I have noticed that the shades of night are falling slightly later than they used to.  I know, I know, it'll be Christmas again before you know it.

Pip pip!