Apparently, According To 'Brewer's'
"Blooming" is a euphemism for "Bloody", which will not do here at all. Forsooth, are we not SFW? The only time we use the word "Bloody" is when there is blood, and a good deal of it. Since it is red, and the theme for our title and the Intro is blue, the two cannot possibly meet, else we'd be talking about a Purple People Eater. Art!
I know, I know, it's a bit tame. The alternatives were a collection of 'cute' monsters that were as dangerous as powdered cinnamon.
You can be forgiven for thinking that Your Humble Scribe refers to the Big Blue Cheese, Doc Manhattan, from "Watchmen", simply thanks to scale. Art!
That blue blemish to port and starboard is disintegrated enemy soldiers
With puny helicopters for scale.
Hmmmm decent theory but WRONG. Art!
 |
| Blue man. Red planet. PURPLE PEOPLE EATER I TELL YOU! |
ANYWAY nope. Since there is the plural 'men' in there, you may also be wondering if this is anything to do with The Blue Man Group. Art!
Distorted because why not
Conrad has heard of this roundup of rambunctious rascals, yet never seen or heard anything they ever got up to. More a franchise than a group, they do performance art and have been doing so for the past 30-odd years, across the globe, so they are doing something right. Art!
World's first toddler-safe xylophone?
Still nope. Art!
O don't be picky. He's blue and man enough above the belt. Look, do you know how few blue men there are, bar the ones suffering from anoxia?
Nope. Still wrong. Do you give up? Of course - obviously! - you do, because you have no idea what I'm talking about*. Art!
Welcome to Nu Earth! One of the planets used as a battlefield in a galaxy-wide war of the far future. A merciless barren toxic blasted deadly wasteland - not laying it on too thick, am I? - it's atmosphere saturated with lethal chemical poisons, it's water's liquid death if drunk, this planet-wide battlefield is where the Norts and the Southers are locked in ceaseless conflict.
Rogue, or Friday as he gets called, is one of a new breed of soldiers, bred to be big, buff, and bright blue. Art!
He and his brethren can breathe any kind of chemical poison and be no more bothered than if it was fresh air. He is one of the new 'Genetic Infantry', who obviously get called 'G.I.'s'. Bigger and stronger and faster than normies, they present a considerable threat to the Norts on Nu Earth.
The artwork in the first two panels above is by Dave Gibbons, who did a sterling job in his own right with big, bold, clean artwork. Conrad, on the other hand, because he is perverse and contradictorial, preferred the art of Cam Kennedy, who brought a similar level of detail in a different way. Art!
That's quite the poignant memorial, commissioned at a time when the Norts and Southers weren't trying to rip each other's throat's out with their teeth. "We came in peace for all mankind" read the inscription, "And this time let's get it right." Art!
More Cam art. I think this is either an artwork or potential cover picture, you wouldn't be able to devote that level of detail to a single panel in a weekly script.
ANYWAY this only establishes the basics of the strip, because there was a lot more to it. We may revisit this, you lucky people.
O YES - sorry, the film. All I know is that it's going to be animated, which makes sense as bringing that level of military hardware to the screen - 'twould be difficult. And cost hundreds of millions. And whilst Disney can afford to blow a billion dollars, British film studios are a teensy bit more parsimonious.
The Music Of The Beers
Conrad was browsing the aisles in Sainsbo's for the beverages, as it's the only place you can get loose-leaf Darjeeling at a reasonable price, and I usually clear the shelves of all the packets when I descend, like a wolf on the fold
ANYWAY I also had a nosy at their collection of canned beers, because as you surely know by now, BOOJUM! likes to put up the odd item or two about unusual designs or covers. Art!
I had never heard of "Tiny Rebel" and the world is no poorer a place for me not having this knowledge - but "Hadouken"? Aren't they a band that I have heard of, and own one of their albums? (as we used to call them back in the day). Art!
It seems Conrad is not up on current events, as they broke up a decade ago. O well, all things must pass.
Their name, which seems to risk copyright infringement issues from litigious lawyers, comes from a move in "Street Fighter". Which I never knew.
Sorry, Couldn't Resist
An odd thing happened in Mordor yesteryon. There was a huge, country-wide failure of the internet that lasted for hours and hours, which also had a knock-on effect. You see, the Ruffians have an enormous network of bots and trolls that try to pump out pro-Kremlin guff twenty-four-seven, pretending to be British or South Canadian - usually South Canadian, they can't really get British idiom. Yesteryon?
It is not beyond the bounds of probability that certain Western agencies with a jumble of letters as identification will have observed this drop in traffic and assessed stats about who, "American Patriot 83250723" really is.
ANYWAY another internet idiot popped up on a Tweet that Jake Broe had posted. II thought Ukraine might be in trouble, because Mordor might target their electricity grid or other significant infrastructure. You know, like they have been doing and were doing last year. Art!
It made me laugh, anyway. Which is the important bit.
Nobody has yet come up with an explanation of what caused this outage, and because it's embarrassed the Ruffians they won't admit it ever happened, let alone why it did. Conrad has a suspicion .....
Where were you when the lights went out, Mister Budanov?
"City In The Sky"
Mirkan 93 needed to set his computer’s
self-defence setting at Level 1 (which the Doctor might have characterised as
“paranoid trigger-happiness”) because he didn’t have any protective armour
thanks to needing to fit snugly into his Transport. A startled rat and a dozy toad had already
been lasered into charcoaled remnants by the escaping Lithoi, who now found a
conflict between the power expended in protecting his ever-so-vulnerable skin
and the finite energy in his pocket battery.
The hunting spiders were known to the Lithoi at their central base, but
little-feared. After all, what good were
primitive fangs when pitted against a woven sapphire monomesh suit? And the Lithoi had fangs of their own, quite
capable of rending and tearing if need be, although the most use they got was
at the dining suite.
A.k.a. "Rain". Blimey, these aliens could never conquer This Sceptred Isle, could they!
Finally -
Well well I do excel. This is Thursday's blog completed 08:14 Wednesday morning. Go Conrad.
* Neither, frequently, does Conrad <the horrid truth courtesy Mister Hand>
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