Like A Woman Cheated Upon
You probably recall that story I related recently about a work colleague's stinking sweater, and how it ended up getting Sam Stench fired. Normally Your Humble Scribe deletes the original Youtube story once I've sucked all the entertainment out of it; not this one. Obviously I had a reason for keeping it, and it turns out that the second story, with updates, is a classic example of Nuclear Revenge. Art!
Well, if it's here, it can't be in Hades, can it?
Under the moniker "honeyedspice", Original Poster described having a subtle sense of unease about her husband and convinced herself that he was cheating on her. Months went by with no evidence appearing, until she hired a private investigator.
O boy. Was he cheating? Doubly so. You see, he was having an affair with two other women, neither of whom knew about the other. What stunned OP was that one woman was his stepsister, and the other woman was his stepmother.
<loud needle scratch noise>.
Before you jump to conclusions, the husband, who unfortunately goes by the name of 'Robert' but whom we shall call instead 'Cheating Dastard', was 30 when his father re-married, and his stepsister was 31. No age given for stepmother but assume 50+. Art!
Nothing salacious here folks
HoneyedSpice was a patient woman. She slowly distanced herself from hubbo, got a new job and lined her ducks up, so that when she filed for divorce, she blindsided CD. He fought her in court and was able to do so because she kept his affair partner's identities a secret - because he worked for his father. I know, I know, soap opera, right? Well, no, hard-headed realism, actually; HS didn't want him unemployed and penniless because he owed her a lot of $$$. Amount unspecified, yet plainly considerable or he'd have forked it out straight away. We're probably talking tens of thousands of pounds here. Art!
Once the money landed in her account, HS carried out - actually, 'executed' is a more appropriate word - Part Two of her plan. Ladies and gentlemen and those unsure, this lady is thorough. She sent an e-mail with attached photographic and video proof of CD - er - 'playing away from home'. To whom? O I thought you'd never ask. To CD's mother, stepmother, stepsister, brother-in-law and father, and of course ex-hubbo too. Just to add a little lemon juice and salt to the wound. As I said, thorough.
When BIL called her he wanted to get the details of her divorce attorney, and she recommended he also get paternity tests on their children, just to be sure. One cannot help but feel sorry for the chap.
Things got even worse for the cheaters. Stepmother and stepdaughter, having discovered they were sharing a bed-partner, got into a fight so bad that the police were called, and one of the cheaters took a swing at one of the cops.
Not very wise. Both got locked up in jail and had nobody care enough to bail them out. Ouch! Art?
Cheating Dastard later tried to get his ex to allow him to stay with her, as he had already been jumped and beaten by his father and BIL, and the car that tried to run him over - hmmmm that might have been Daddy, too.
It gets worse. None of BIL's three children are his, so stepsister wasn't just 'playing away' with CD. HS then put Part Three into operation, wherein she and BIL handed out copies of the DNA analysis to everyone who knew stepsister, which also included delivering a speech at stepmother's church until HS got physically removed. Art!
HS also proved that it's unwise to stab somebody in the back when they know where the bodies are buried. Cheating Dastard's track record in business was pretttty shady, so as a decent law-abiding citizen, HS felt compelled to inform the IRS about his dodgy dealings. Also all of his current and ex-business partners. Conrad is familiar with the workings of the South Canadian tax authorities; they are slooooow but, like HS, they are thorough, and CD will have their teeth in his bottom for years.
HS finished her tale with vague allegations about legally-questionable things she'd done that had taken the spring out of CD's step, not going into detail as that might get her into trouble, one supposes. Given that her ex's life was in ruins, Conrad shivers at what else she could have done to make his existence even more miserable.
Big Bavovna
Hello there, by now you've probably seen images of a lowering inferno -
Yes yes yes, I'm well aware that I began doing a video essay on "The Towering Inferno" and only got about 15 minutes in. BE PATIENT! Art!
No, this is nothing martial or military or anything to do with conflict. What you see is the Ruffian version of Amazon, the 'Wildberries' warehouse complex, going up in flames. It took 30 hours to extinguish it and the whole complex is an ashy ruin. The cause is still being debated; expect the Ruffian authorities to claim that it was MI6, because it was too big and obvious an event to pretend it never happened. Art!
This got out, but expect whoever took it to get arrested and imprisoned for - I dunno, not putting two spaces between a full stop and the next capital letter? One astute observer noted that there are no fire-suppression systems such as sprinklers or aerosols in operation, meaning there weren't any. This would automatically get you shut down in any other country. One presumes the factory inspectorate got a new BMW for looking the other way?
By the way, "Bavovna" is Ukrainian for "Cotton" and is used to describe what are usually explosions. Given that the warehouse contents were valued at about a trillion rubles, I expect there to be an explosion somewhere in the management chain.
"City In The Sky"
It's beginning to look a lot like mini-Armageddon is on.
‘Ah – thank you, thank you. Your
thoughts, anyone?’
‘I am thoroughly against it,’ said Schottsky, crossing his arms and
daring anyone to contradict him.
‘Why not drop this bloody great rock right on top of these alien
scrotes?’ asked Terry, bluntly. ‘Never
mind the ocean, drop it right on their evil alien heads.’ He glared at Schottsky. ‘It gets my
vote, this Lunar car, if it means revenge for those folks who got killed
at Forrest.’
Barclay dropped himself down onto a chair so hard that it creaked and a
leg split.
‘I’m pilot-qualified on the Pangolin.
I’ll fly the damn thing,’ he grated.
The others looked at him and he looked back, defensively.
‘First to be infected, first to recover.
I’m fit enough to be a pilot again, and I flew Pangolin second to last
time we used it.’
‘If we send it,’ countered
Schottsky. ‘After all - ’
‘Look!’ interrupted Ace. ‘The
Doctor has got everyone along the coastline moving away from danger. His reasons – he’d have told us if the aliens
weren’t jamming you. Whatever his
reasons, it must be important to get tens of thousands of people moving, and
they wouldn’t move if it wasn’t important, would they!’
The astronomer pushed his glasses back up his nose.
‘Tautology. That’s a circular
argument.’
‘It’s also a very dangerous idea,’ added the second engineer from
What, you were expecting Christmas?
Wait, What?
The trouble with condensing a headline into as few words as possible, so that it fits onto a webpage, is that it can render the title obscure as to meaning. Take this one as an example. Art!
You may have guessed, by context, that the 'Elizabeth line" is in fact part of the London Tube network. Ghosts? Marks? Say what? Art!
These are unsightly blemishes upon the pristine paintwork, thanks to idle oafs leaning against the walls. How dare they! If I <cont. Page 94>
Finally -
The sun is out again! Time for my constitutional into Lesser Sodom before the clouds roll back again and the endless river starts to fall from the heavens.
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