Yes I'm Trying To Evoke Yesteryon's Blog
I am kicking off the Intro with the Toxic Entitled Sisters And Spouses & Four Kids, hereafter shortened to a more manageable TESASFKs, and the tale of woe and angst (and perhaps a smidgeon of anomie as well) about A Cabin In The Woods. From the descriptions it more closely resembles a house and is able to accommodate many people. Art!
Poetic licence
If you recall, Original Poster had chained and padlocked the main gate shut, put up lockpads with a combination only he and his wife knew, and added security cameras, all to keep the TESASFKs out. They wanted in as they had - quite illegally - been charging groups of tourists for using the cabin, and raking in thousands of dollars to support and maintain their over-extended lifestyle. OP had forbidden them from ever setting their hideous cloven-hoofed feet across his threshold again.
As they say, you can't fix stupid. Art!
You remember Dave, the odd-job man and property warden, hired by OP? Well, Dave was no slouch. He had a camera that activated a screen whenever a vehicle drove up the very-much-unbeaten-track that led up to the vacation homes. Given how few people lived there, he immediately recognised a stranger's car. His ex-law enforcement antennae twitching, he also checked in on OP's security cameras, which sent him up there with a clutch of the above. Rural sheriffs, to be clear.
Why so? Art!
Wellllllll Idiot Brothers In Law 1 & 2 had used an angle-grinder to cut the metal chain, damaging the gate whilst doing so. Having warmed-up by breaking into the barn, they then tried to get in via the front door, badly damaging it whilst failing to enter, then found the less formidable utility room door, broke in there, then through a locked internal door. When they exited by the front door, they waltzed straight into the arms of the local sheriffs, who immediately arrested and jailed them.
Since OP had deliberately left his phone in his car to avoid any possible interaction with TESASFKs for any reason, nobody could reach him about this desperate criminal enterprise. So the IBILs got to savour prison overnight.
This process appears to have had at least one of the TESASFKs see the light; he had a job with a security rating that would have been shellacked if the case had gone to court, and OP's property attorney friend was slavering with anticipation over all the possible charges: fraudulently taking money for 'renting', wear and tear from the renters, repair costs, emotional distress, lost income and attorney's fees. So this BIL wrote out a heartfelt apology, sent it with a cashier's cheque for $5,000 to cover damages and agreed to pay OP's attorney fees (they managed $2,500 of $3,000 outstanding). Art!
OP also had the civil equivalent of a Restraining Order drawn up and from then on could have them arrested if they turned up at any venue he was already at. His fondest with thus seems to have been granted; that he never has to interact with any of the TESASFKs again. It doesn't look good for them: all their money has gone on damages and legal fees and they will never get fraudulent money from the cabin in the woods again. Conrad predicts a divorce or two on the horizon when all the nice things have been sold or repossessed. Tee hee!
I have left out a lot of detail or this saga would be running until February. Can't help wondering if OP will ever post an update, not about his interaction with the TESASFKs but what they did next, info provided via his parents.
An Astronomer Reviews -
Yus, back to Mighty Mike Siegel, astrophysicist extraordinaire, and definitely a guy whose childhood interest in sci-fi inspired him to go into his chosen field.
He put out the flags for the 'Liberator', that salvaged alien super-ship acquired by Roj Blake and his gang of criminal misfits, quite by accident. Art!
As he points out with cold hard logic, it's not that well-designed, as all the weapons systems are oriented forward, and objectively it ought only to be rated as Not Great Not Terrible.
However - yes, that word again - Ol' Mike loves "Blake's 7" to bits, which bleeds over into his rating for Libby - "Abduct Me Now". Hmmmm, it may be time to reassess B7, I've not watched it since it was first on, <coughcough> decades ago. Art!
Ah Yes
As you may recall, Conrad used to work in the HR department of Sainsbo's in Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell, atop the Arndale tower of Arndale House. So - what's this news item about? Art!
"City In The Sky"
The Doctor is having to psyche himself up for an inevitable conflict with the now-revealed aliens.
Who, he decided, had little choice but to leave. When faced with a fight on unequal terms the
chicken option served best. Persuading the
Euclans of the need to leave in a hurry would be difficult; he missed Ace and
her ability to put high-concepts over to her fellow humans in easily understood
terms.
‘You’ve been sitting there like a statue for five minutes,’ commented
the other occupant of the room: Mike, who had now assumed the role of Mayor.
‘I’m plotting.’
‘Plotting? Plotting what?’
‘How to get the population of New Eucla away before the Lithoi attack
your township, as they most certainly will, and probably all too soon.’
Unexpectedly, Don jerked upright in a body spasm when the Doctor uttered
that strange word “Lithoi”. Mike scowled
at the silent captive, looking back at Doctor Smith for an explanation. When none came, he asked, for his own
satisfaction.
‘A Gallifreyan joke. Gallifrey –
my home pl- er, my home. Lithoi
translates as “Those made of stone”.’
Mike and the two farmers keeping hold of Don all looked puzzled. ‘Not literally made of stone, although there
are some species that are, such as the Ogri – anyway, they were dubbed that
since they have a very slow metabolism.’
Let me see if I can work in a Stone Temple Pilots joke here.
- But We Already Knew I Was A Terrible Person
It must be a slow news week, the "Daily Express" is chuntering about the naming convention applied to a submarine due to be put into service for the Royal Navy.
Royal Navy sparks outrage over plan to rename boat for 'fear of upsetting French'
EXCLUSIVE: Navy chiefs were criticised for "woke nonsense" after holding talks on renaming HMS Agincourt in case it "upsets" the French.
Ha! A story about the navy and his surname is "List-er", O boy the jokes just write themselves.
Conrad's response on Twitter was not very diplomatic, to be honest.
For those unaware, the battles of Crecy and Poitiers were two during the Hundred Years War where the French got a right shoeing at the hands of the English and Welsh. Blenheim was another French trouncing by the outstanding British general Marlborough, and Minden - O you get the idea.
Finally -
I think I've worked out a visual pun with all that remaindered fish from Morrisons. You shall know soon enough.
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