I Shall Not Confuse You By Mentioning 'Mordor'
I know, I know, I frequently allude to Putin's fiefdom as 'Mordor' ironically, because you can get away with almost anything if you call it 'ironic', especially when dealing with South Canadians, as they generally do not get the concept, and only Th
ANYWAY we are not talking about the fictions of Ol' Tolky here. For one thing - Art!
You can see Mordor, which seems to have been designed by Ken Adams on a commission from the Dark Lord. You know Ken, the expatriate naturalised Brit who flew rocket-firing Typhoons in Normandy and whom went onto and into set design for films. Art!
"Project Spec: to be defended and isolated from enemies and potential invasion by an open-square arrangement of mountain ranges, with strategic entrances/exits at only two points, open access from the east, inland water supply and space for crops". I think Ken put in Mount Doom as a signature move. You know, him and volcanoes.
ANYWAY what I meant was that Mordor has very definite geographical boundaries, whereas Charlie Chipmunk Cheeks has declared that Ruffia has no borders. Art!
There are other differences between the two. Mordor is ruled by a totalitarian despot, who rules over a population of slaves, and who throws his expendable orc armies into battle with no considera -
Okay, let's move on. Conrad would like to explicate the current catastrophic crises befalling the citizens of Mo - of Ruffia, with the help of a vlog from Konstantin - 'Big K' - from "Inside Russia".
You may have seen a few of these events already: floods, blackouts, sewage explosions, street bonfires, etcetera. Art!
 |
| That's steam, not water |
 |
| Trying to thaw out frozen boilers |
"He's covering the trash with fresh snow!" in case it's unclear.
This is a short selection of what's happening in Ruffia at the moment, and the big questions are - does this happen every winter? and - if not, why is it so bad right now?
First, a bit of background data. Going from Big K, most Ruffians dwell in apartment blocks: 65% of the population, in fact. Most of these properties were put up in Soviet times. Remember that, it comes back to bite later. Art!
Just as an FYI, 31% live in private residences, and these are by far and away rural properties, not luxury dachas in the prime residential areas of Moscow.
Back to bedlam barracks apartments. The communal utilities such as electricity, cold water, hot water, heating, sewage and rubbish disposal are all dealt with by the state, meaning these townie troglodytes are utterly dependent on the state for all utilities. You can probably tell where this is going .....
Big K pointed out that this is the second WINTER of the Special Idiotic Operation, and that Ruffian winters are long and hard - who knew! Quelle surprise, punters*! Snow, ice and very low sub-zero temperatures to be expected!
What is all the more surprising about these disasters is that many are occurring in not merely the Moscow oblast, but in the chief fortress of Mordor its - in the city itself. Sorry. Habit. Moscow's utilities were always streets (pun intended) ahead of any other town or city, and a quantum level beyond any polities out in the depths of Siberia. They were looked upon as being a showcase. Of sorts, let's not get carried away. Art!
The series of catastrophes taking place now are certainly not normal or common, and Big K. identified three reasons for this.
1) Lack of money. Rather incredibly, various regions, cities and towns in Ruffia have to subsidise the cost of reconstructing utilities in Ukraine, which frequently means re-building a whole town from scratch. This money is a permanent drain on local budgets that they see no return from. Art!
"A fixer-upper" in Charlie Chipmunk Cheek's parlance
This is quite besides the usual endemic corruption siphoning (an apt simile) off funds.
2) People, or a lack of them. Mobilisation affected the state utility companies immediately, and they were given a quota of mobiks to be sent to their Mount doom immediately. Those who avoided becoming sunflower fodder are now trying to maintain utilities in occupied Ukraine. A thankless task.
3) A lack of hardware. To begin with, Big K explained how the heating systems in Ruffia work, which were laid down in the days of the Sinister Union, and which were all centralised because that was the big Sinister ethos. Pipes from power plants carried steam across towns and cities to heat apartments, in a very inefficient manner indeed. Which didn't matter in Sinister times, it was all paid for by the state. Now people pay through the nose, ears and mouth for this long-outmoded model of heating. Art!
Ruffia stronk and up date is!
The ancient Sinister-era kit has not been renovated, replaced or updated and is consequently breaking down. There are only two small Ruffian manufacturers of the technology required, both of which are using obsolete kit from 40 years ago. The big Western companies like Siemens or Alstom, that could provide the technology, won't. Art!
There's no money to do the renovation, so for now the utility companies bodge-up a repair and cross their fingers. For another two months.
Oooops!
MegaLegomania
Have we used this title previously? Perhaps. Get used to it, we call it 'mental upcycling' here at BOOJUM! In contrast to the wall of text above, here's pictures from a Youtube channel going by the name of 'Spitbrix' about 20 record-breaking Lego builds. Art!
Largest Lego Ferris Wheel, created by Tomas of Czechia, to the total of 40,000 pieces, rearing up 12 feet into the air, and as you can see it does go round and round. In real life it would be 574 feet high, just FYI. No info on how long it took him to put it together. I wonder how he calculated things like shear forces and structural integrity? as it would be a bit of a smack in the chops if he put it up and - it collapsed.
The Light Car Patrols
Your Humble Scribe is currently trawling through the "Official History of the Great War: Egypt & Palestine" in order to seek out any incidents that involved the Light Car Patrols. I've mentioned these before; imagine them as a kind of proto-LRDG, exploiting the internal combustion engine rather than Dobbin. Or whatever nickname there is for a camel. Art!
Lightish, car-y and rather patrol-y
The Index doesn't list anything before page 263, but Conrad, with his rubbish-skip memory, distinctly remembered an earlier item about them being used in bad weather, when the normal armoured car in a column destroyed the fragile road surface and then got bogged. So I've been making notes about 'Ford cars' that may have been employed as an undifferentiated unit before the LC Patrols got formalised. One has to scrutinise descriptions such as 'light armoured car' and wonder which camp they fell into.
I know, I know, hairsplittery of the very finest. You're welcome.
"City In The Sky"
The 'Pangolin', Arcology One's Lunar Lander, is prepping for a possibly hazardous excursion to the Trojan asteroids.
Again the feeling of being on a giant
fairground ride came back to Ace, with a touch of exuberance. Her fear and anxiety were firmly quashed on
this venture out onto the hull, now that she had the knack of sliding her
magnetic boots along the surface from tether point to tether point. In fact she had to hang back to allow the
other three to lead her across the hull, following occasional big green arrows
painted or etched onto the plates. With
the air of urgency about the whole job, she wanted to be under way immediately,
or sooner.
The Lunar Lander’s “dock” was less impressive in the metal than the
imagination. A simple four-sided metal
box, open at the top, with a doorway cut into it, all being welded to the
hull. Barclay plodded around all four
walls to inspect for micro-meteorite damage, declaring the whole structure free
from any problems.
‘Hello Pangolin,’ he muttered into the link when they entered the
dock.
Oh! was Ace’s reaction. Her
expectation of a giant streamlined missile vanished at the sight of the thirty
foot height of the Lunar Lander, all struts and giant bulbous fuel and lox
tanks. Atop the skeleton frame sat an
angular box, studded with aerials and verniers, looking like a metallic octopus
with it’s big blank windows and dangling extensor arms. Barclay indicated a set of rungs welded to
one leg, rungs that ran up to the box.
Kind of like the LEM's long-lost grandson.
Finally -
As you have surely guessed by now, neither BOOJUM! nor Conrad (the two are not mutually compatible) are over fond of Pumpkinhead, and are happy to see the lesser satellites that were minions or serfs of his go to prison or suffer huge financial penalties, because we're horrid that way. Art!
Bonespur Bob really has the Sadim Touch; everything that encounters his flabby, sweaty grip withers and dies. Bring on more popcorn!
No pictures of Donald Buck as he's looking especially grotty in court this week, as if he'd been applying coffee grounds instead of his usual Tango makeup.
* Yes, Joan Collins Fan Club nod there.
No comments:
Post a Comment