Or, The Cracks Are Showing
We are now into month 22 of Hamster Head Harry's Special Idiotic Operation, which is about 21 and a half months longer than he'd planned for or anticipated. We here at BOOJUM! regularly keep you updated with the grand sweeping landscape of how the Ruffian economy is up an excrement river in a barbed wire canoe with tennis-racket paddles. The average Ruffian doesn't want to know anything about the Call-It-A-War-And-Go-To-Jail, instead pretending that it doesn't exist because it doesn't affect them. Wellllll - Art!
Takes you back to the dear old Sinister Union, doesn't it?
Now it is affecting them. The queue you see above is Ruffians lining up to buy eggs, because there is a national shortage and they have to shell out about ₽100 per egg, which comes out to about a dollar per ovum (a word I learned from Cryptic Crossword clues). That's if you can actually acquire them, thanks to the shortage. There are all sorts of allegations flying around as to what, exactly, has caused this shortage. One is that grossly inferior Ruffian food killed off lots of laying hens, and another is that the Egg King has been artificially inflating prices. In the cold hard light of reality, rising energy costs and Western sanctions have also had an impact, which of course cannot possibly be mentioned or, again, you go to jail for ten years. Art!
Nice try, Art. Tazer?Very pretty. Also inedible.
There you go
That chap in the middle is Gennary Shiryaev, who is one of the Ruffian magnates that own the factories where hens lay eggs.
On December 27th he was shot at by a disgruntled person, twice. They missed with both shots - possibly thanks to deficiency diseases caused by lack of egg - but the principle of the thing is what matters. Ruffians have been used to eggs as a staple food, and they're unhappy at having to pay $10 per pack. A case has now been opened against Shiryaev about organising a price-fixing racket; locals are hoping it gets cracked soon. Art!
"Don't shoot me, I'm only the piano player" didn't work as an excuse
When confronted about this crisis on a call-in show, Chipmunk Cheeks was taken completely by surprise, for two reasons. One: he doesn't have an inkling of how the peasants and serfs live, and Two: if there is a scam going on, he's not been given a slice of the profits, which he'll be extremely angry about.
ANYWAY in Topsy-Turvy Land, a.k.a. Ruffia, the authorities are now insisting that there is no egg shortage, and ten years in a gulag awaits anyone who dares to disagree. The police and FSB are now empowered to arrest anyone hoarding eggs, so expect a few high-profile set-ups to display how seriously the shor - sorry, the Not Shortage is being taken. Also, the Ruffian plan to purchase 1.2 billion eggs from anyone who'll sell to them (at a dollar an egg, this is going to eat into the National Welfare Fund) because of course - obviously! - that's what you do when you have a Not Shortage of eggs. Art!
You may not have encountered these jokers before. They are the "North Atlantic Fella Organisation", whose mission statement is to mock and satirise the Ruffians and their malignant boot-lickers. They have, predictably, latched onto the ongoing Not Shortage of eggs in Ruffia and are relentlessly beating every mote of humour out of it. Art!
 |
| O I see. The Eestis have stolen all the eeggs. |
All very silly, yet it has enraged the Krembots, trolls and fanbois, who are claiming that NAFO is obviously funded and organised by the CIA. Or MI5. Probably both simultaneously. NAFO has, inevitably, picked up on this idea and is running with it. Art!
Conrad, of course, was unable to resist throwing in a bad pun. Art!
Which is where we came in.
Here's One I Prepared Earlier
As they used to say on "Blue Peter". This will up the word count and save me time. Here goes -
I will limit this to WW1. Cavalry were occasionally useful on the Western Front but barbed wire was a big problem for them. By the time of the “Kaiserschlacht” in 1918 the Germans had very little cavalry left on the Western Front, which was good news for the Allies as a few German cavalry divisions would have made things much, much worse. The much longer and thinner front lines on the Eastern Front meant cavalry was still useful at an operational level.
Where cavalry really, really excelled was in the Middle East: Egypt, Palestine, the Hejaz (modern Saudi), Syria (including what is now Lebanon) and Trans-Jordan (now Jordan). The British, and especially the Australians (and Kiwis) had multiple divisions of cavalry, which the Turks lacked: the Australian Mounted Division, the Yeomanry Mounted Division and the 4th and 5th Cavalry Divisions; in addition there were something like 12 Indian individual cavalry regiments. These allowed for rapid tactical movement and large-scale operational and strategic manoeuvres that completely outclassed the marching Turkish divisions. They could, and did, make classic cavalry charges with swords and lances - yes, really, in 1918 - but were also able to operate dismounted as infantry.
On a side note, the Sherwood Rangers Yeomanry fought in Palestine in 1917 and 1918. Twenty-two years later they returned to Palestine as a garrison force, again as cavalry.
Don’t get me started on the Light Car Patrols …
There you go. All cavalry facts lifted from "Official History Military Operations Egypt & Palestine Volume II Part II". If you really want to know, the campaign became very fluid after the Third Battle Of Gaza began, during which the British (and Commonwealth) cavalry turned the Turk's left flank. Art!
I think, judging from what I can see of their headgear, these are Australian cavalry charging at a gallop with the sword. Not sure who the cameraman is but I would advise not getting in the way. Note the second and third lines in the background. For those interested, the horse artillery (13 pounders) and machine guns (Hotchkiss) will be on the flanks, shooting them in.
"City In The Sky"
Warden Barclay has now been revealed as Patient Zero, generously spreading around a fever that nobody aboard Arcology One has any resistance to.
‘You wouldn’t have let me bring him if I’d told you the whole
story. Now, I need to speak to Ace,
quickly.’
Davy Tabbed the nearest healthy person to bring Ace and Terry over to
the temporary tent ward, then sat back to chew a nail and think.
Arcology One had, purposely, never been intended to be sterile. If it had, then when the crew returned to Earth they would have died in
short order from a thousand different micro-organisms they had absolutely no
resistance to. Since the last member
came aboard there hadn’t been any
outbreaks of serious communicable diseases thanks to the lengthy screening
process for the original crew two generations ago. Now they faced a disease from Downstairs that
had never been encountered before, a disease doubtless completely benign to the
Australians since they’d grown up with it, and which the terrestrial dwelling
Ace and Doctor could shrug off un-noticed.
A bug mutation from the outback, bred from fallout and flu.
On the positive side of the balance, Arc One’s population were fit,
active, well-fed, healthy individuals with access to medical care beyond
anything imaginable Downstairs. No
obesity, idleness, poor nutrition or substance abuse existed on the
sphere. Nobody had died from this
outbreak of – what could they call it?
‘Barclay’s Bug,’ said Davy aloud, with a touch of malicious amusement
whilst looking at the twitching Warden.
Aptly, and cruelly, named.
Here's One I Alluded To Earlier
You can always rely on South Canadian media to obsess over monarchy, which is surprising in a nation that deliberately got rid of theirs, the rank traitors <long rant redacted by Mister Hand> then a national anthem thanks to arson. Art!
Okay, 'Queenie fix'
Hmmmmmm if the alternative is Pumpkinhead, one can sympathise a little. Art!Frighteningly accurate. Hang on -
Nope, that's not Politics as he's merely a citizen now, and not God-Emperor King as the voices in his head tell him.
Finally -
It's actually a rather nice day as regards the weather. A good way to see in 2024. I may, perhaps, take a constitutional stroll. No, Edna, that was only 'perhaps'.
Chin chin!
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