Another Nod To Steve And Oscar
Because I have NO IDEA why this topic floated to the top of my awareness, just that it did. Steve and Oscar - my memory and subconscious respectively, and who need congratulating on having created this lord-forsaken farrago. Which is not to be confused with 'Farrage'.
Yes yes yes, you disgusting slobbering perverts are no doubt imagining all sorts of sleazy seedy 'explanations' of what the title means.
IT MEANS A COMIC. Art!
Here we see the two characters behind the titles. That there is Sid, with his snake, and the bafune in back of him is Shiner, because he nearly always had a black eye.
Okay, this is where it gets a little complicated. Although they came stapled together as a single comic, WAC adopted the conceit that they were actually two very different comics, who violently hated each other. Because this is This Sceptred Isle and not South Canada, this meant being ferociously polite to each other's face whilst trying to smuggle in your own comic characters into the other fellow's comic, rather than storming their premises with automatic weapons being really mean to each other. Art!
Thus you had 'Whiz-kids' and 'Chip-ites' and really I bet Phillip K Dick would have thoroughly approved, before They got him removed from reality b
ANYWAY the idea was that one comic would pwn the other - a concept that existed long before the word - by surreptitiously sneaking one of their characters into the other comic, and readers were encouraged to write in and gloat or moan about detecting such an infiltration. This has led Conrad to have a life-long distrust of comic artists and he can frequently be seen scrutinising the background of his latest graphic novel with a magnifying glass. It's worked out. Art!
Cam Kennedy, one of the best comic artists This Sceptred Isle ever produced, is my go-to whenever the topic of 'Future War' came up, because he was simply awesome at depicting 'Rogue Trooper' in 2000AD. And - Hey Pesto! - here he is in 1984, depicting the Little Lost Alien 'Skizz' (of the Tau-Ceti Imperium) in the background of a Rogue Trooper story.
No, I don't have a picture. I'd have to climb up a ladder, unload several cubic yards of comics and search through them for hours to get a picture. JUST TRUST ME ON THIS okay hmmmm?
This peculiar conceit for WAC had legs, because the comic lasted until 1990, or over 20 years, which is pretty good going for any comic that's not "The Dandy" or "Beano".
"Skizz"
Set in Birmingham.
I Did Warn You
Look, if you can't keep up with BOOJUM!s social calendar, it's time to retire to a nunnery and raise bees. As in the title, I did warn you. Art!
These, ladies and germs, are 'Banana Blossoms', which have gone into the latest Conrad stew being prepared for the week ahead. Your Humble Scribe was a tad surprised to see that they have a distinct scarlet cast to them, because that Paul Metcalfe* has pretty much gotten a lock on everything 'Scarlet'. We shall see how they pan out in - hmmmm - the pan.
Is There A The Doctor In The House?
Don't look at me whilst you're deciding about articles, no that is not a typo and yes we are back to "The Sea Of Sand" where the Fourth Doctor and SJS are at peril in the desert warfare of early 1941.
‘Geothermal – like hot springs?’ commented Roger, getting drawn in despite himself.
‘A little. It’s a
source of energy that never runs out – or at least not while Planet Earth
maintains a molten core. Geo-thermal
power allows the complex to maintain itself indefinitely, staying in perfect
condition. And the pylons, the whole
matter-transmission system, requires vast energies to operate. It can’t be constantly in commission, so the
geo-thermal power is accumulated. Once
it reaches peak storage capacity, any soul unlucky to move between the pylons
will be transmitted.’
Roger looked at the Doctor in alarm. The mysterious and inexplicable vanishings,
the ever-warm buildings, the scale of the site – this grinning lunatic had
managed to explain it all away. What was
that line from Conan Doyle? “When you
have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, remains
the truth.”
A dusty soldier, clutching his rifle frantically, rushed up
to the lieutenant.
‘Sir! Sentry says
he’s spotted three unidentified vehicles heading this way, from the
south-west. Says there’s something
b**** weird about them, sir, begging your pardon.’
‘Of course,’ said the Doctor slowly. ‘I could
be mistaken.’
Well I suppose we shall see shortly, shan't we?
Ah, I Fondly Remember
When 'Babylon 5' was a New Thing and we all Ooohed and Aaaahed at the computer graphics, except that Conrad was more interested in how the series took contemporary problems and exported then to outer space. "The Expanse" is a spiritual successor - we may have gone to the stars but we drag our human concerns along with us - and despite being 200 years into the future no we do not outpace racism, poverty or jingoism.
I obviously had big concerns to add in here, except I've forgotten whatever they were. Damn those Banana Blossoms!
'All Alone In The Dark'
That was one of the opening lines about 'Babylon 5' in that you understood this speck of humanity was operating solo, in outer space, and that if there was a problem then they had to deal with it themselves, because help from Earth would take months to arrive.
Then we have the BBC's themed photography exhibition. Art!
Courtesy Carl Gibbons
Conrad thinks that this is a party, with the kitchen window elevated to full movement because otherwise none of the drug fumes make their way outside. Prove me wrong, show endless shots of innocent couples smoking cigars - or whatever**. If anyone needs to be kept in the dark it's the Ruffian authorities***.
We Need A Short Item Here
Your Humble Scribe cannot think what to add. Come on, Muses, we only need a few dozen words!
Ah. Yes. One of the most terrifying moments in cinematic history. Art!
Talos, one of the immense AND TOTALLY STATIC bronze entities encountered by the Argonauts. Okayyyy, TOTALLY STATIC is the point here. Art!
If this is not pant-wettingly terrifying then you are a robot. Conrad can well recall this moment 50 years ago and will probably have to narcotise himself with a bottle or three of gin tonight <sinister mutterings about the audience>Check against above
Finally -
Heck y'know this stew's not bad! The banana blossoms have held up after a couple of hours cooking, which is good to know - artichokes and palm hearts are more fragile in prolonged cooking than GET OUT OF THERE EDNA! Dog Buns, who knows what her insides would resemble after a dose of Conrad Stew?! Yeah yeah yeah, slink out of here as if The Wicked Humans were on your ass with a torch of grass. It is a bit peppery but nothing Your Humble Scribe cannot deal with. The pooch is another matter entirely.
That's banana blossoms. Not Edna. Edna would move around more.
* Do I have to spell it out? Paul Metcalfe = Captain Scarlet. Sheesh. Some people.
** Conrad not entirely sure how one smokes a cigar, just that they seem to have lots of 'output' and 99.9999% of Ruffians cannot afford illegal chemicals
*** They are partially-sighted and wear sunglasses indoors, so we're probably pretty safe
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